There is a girl at school who might have misunderstood my behavior and I'm afraid that she might have fallen in love with me. I'm gay but she and our friends don't know and I would like to avoid having to reject her, which would hurt her and make our friends suspect that there is something "wrong" with me . What do I do now?
2006-11-17 02:36:48 · 15 answers · asked by ted 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No homophobes please.
2006-11-17 02:43:40 · update #1
Just hint that all you want from her is friendship. You do not need to go in to detail as to why you want more. If she persists despite you not reciprocating, you need to be blunt and say you aren't interested in having her as a gf. It seems harsh, but you do her no favor by saying nothing and letting her believe there is a chance.
You can be honest without telling your life story, "NO" is a powerful word, use it with tact and kindness and it will work wonders.
2006-11-17 02:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by imaginary friend 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
This here is a tough situation - best way is to be honest and as polite as you can be in letting her know - no matter what - if she has fallen for you and you turn her away she will be hurt somewhat - there is no avoiding that - but you can be there as an understanding friend after the initial shock wears off - but it is better to let her know sooner than later - for it could cost a good friendship in the end if you wait too long
She may think you were trying to lead her on at that point - so do it now before then
2006-11-17 02:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mad Marvin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you can't play along with it because you would only end up hurting her more. I had that same problem when I came to college. I flirted a lot with this girl just because I'm a heavy flirt, but she didn't know I was gay. When I saw that she was beginning to get pretty interested, I knew I had to call it quits. I would say just come clean with her. She should be able to understand and it feels so much better to be out and not have to hide a part of yourself.
2006-11-17 02:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by dragonfly.2113 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
love, well that is pretty strong....
anyway, you have to put some distance betweeen the two of you. Don't just let her be led on you could break her heart. You don't want to tell her about your preferences, fine, at least make it very clear that you are not, and could never be, interested in her that way.
2006-11-17 02:48:43 · answer #4 · answered by heather 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop whatever it is you are doing that is "leading" her to think you two have a chance. Your sexual orientation is your business so you can either tell her the truth, or just gently let her know that "it isn't like that"
2006-11-17 03:03:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could take her aside (where her friends and your friends don't hear/see) and tell her that you truely like her as a friend, but that you are gay. Say you are not out yet and would appreciate if she did not tell anyone.
Most girls are likely to understand, and she will not "out" you to your friends.
2006-11-17 02:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sammy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just tell her in a nice way that you like her as a friend and nothing more, and if you have to just tell her that you have feelings for someone else. Do it in a nice way though
2006-11-17 02:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by luv_meforever_06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first off, there's nothing wrong with you, and if your friends think that there's something "wrong" with gay people, then they're not true friends.
That said, I see two different decisions for you to make.
You can tell the truth,come out, and see what happens, or you can make up a story about how you're interested in another chick (if she happens to express her feelings for you.)
You have a tough decision to make...best of luck
2006-11-17 02:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by too funny 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Tell her that you just want to be friends. And that you like her as a person. But right now you are not prepared for a relationship.
2006-11-17 02:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
It's not a very honest method, but maybe you could pretend you're already hopelessly in love with somebody who doesn't want you..........so it wouldn't be fair to somebody else to get involved with you.
2006-11-17 02:46:23 · answer #10 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋