Unwilling spouse? What was your experience at Retrouvaille?

Question

My wife and I are going to Retrouvaille on December 1. I asked her to
do it because I felt we owed it to each other after 8 years of marriage
and our 2 beautiful children. She agreed, but only if:
1. We had separate rooms at Retrouvaille.
2. If after attending, she still wanted to end the marriage, that I
would not contest.

I agreed to the conditions because I at least wanted to get her there.
From my readings on Retrouvaille (I have
spent countless hours researching), both individuals have to be open to
the program. I asked her to go with an open heart, open mind, listen,
participate, and let whatever happens happen. I am concerned that she says she will go with an open
heart, open mind, listen, participate, and let whatever happens happen,
but does she mean it. She is putting up her armor to try and protect
herself. Does/can something happen at Retrouvaille that will break her
armor?

I am interested in anyone's personal feedback and would like to email.

Answer 1

I couldn't get my spouse to Retrouvaille and they were unwilling to help me convince her to go.

So I really question their willingness to help, given my personal experience.

Answer 2

There is no program that will help you if she is going under false pretense. Keep that in mind. She has to have love left for you, ears that are willing to listen and a heart that is open before anything can penetrate. As good as this program is it cannot work for someone playing just nothing more than a game. Think about this; if there was something you were dead set against and closed minded to, what could open those avenues? If you were unwilling to really give it a try and it was only a game could anything penetrate? Ask yourself why she wants out? Is there another person in her life? Only an open heart will make this work. Would email with you but do not know how to do that from here. I wish you such luck and please be careful with your own heart. This might just hurt you more because you must have expectations and she might just be playing a game to get you to get this divorce without contest. So a game on her part this might be.