after my divorce i contacted him.he was married(not happy)but left his wife for me.been dating for 6 mons.he tells everyone(family,freinds,work)i'm his gf and whenever i meet any of them they tell me how he brags about me all the time.we will spend hours just talking about old times and he will say things like"i can't believe its you",'i love you so much you make me complete" i could go on forever with the one liners.he even gets teary eyed when write him a love letter telling him what he means to me.he also spends tons of money on me.sounds perfect right?well just found out hes been cheating on me with a coworker for 2 mons(like 10 times)and shows no signs of stopping.after i leave at night she comes over.when i asked him if something was going on he looked at me like a was crazy and said hell no and i just droped it(i know he is to long to expain how i know)i know he told her that he would never leave me for her.how can a man say he loves you but cheat on you even if its just for sex
2006-11-17 02:00:39 · 20 answers · asked by kellywoods0909 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
once a cheat, always a cheat...
he's much older now, and you can't change him...
he doesn't want to change, especially now finding his new found freedom!
2006-11-17 02:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by mary_not_cathy 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Let me second this answer
"I can't believe you have the nerve to ask how a man can say he loves you and then cheat on you. What do you think he did to his wife when he left her for you? Did you honestly think that you were "special" when he dumped the woman he had a legal and spiritual contract with to jump into bed with you?"
With a different ending...
How naive can you be. If he left his wife, regardless of if it was to be with you, or to just leave, why do you think he wouldn't leave you?
His actions speak far louder than his words. Look at them, he left his wife and now he's playing around on you.
Grab the handles and eject while you still can. Then, when you are safely away from this plane crash you call a relationship, thank God you didn't have any children with this boy.
2006-11-17 10:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have come to learn that a person can cheat for more than just the common reason of sex. Maybe their is something that is lacking in your relationship that does not make him feel complete as a man. Maybe it is that as much as he says he is complete, and loves you, he can't settle for just one. He has to have that attention from others, to make him feel whole. I think that he is not the person he was a long time ago, and because of his one liners, you find it hard to believe that he could have changed into that wolf, that you mentioned, and want to believe you are the one he has been searching for his whole life.
But in reality, he is obviously still on the search (PROWL) or he wouldn't be cheating. He has lied, you know it, he cheats, you know it, and you call his words of compassion, ONE LINERS.
AND YOUR STILL WITH HIM........WHY......
Move on. What was 20 years ago, is no longer.....You are stuck in the past, and he has moved to the future without you........
You deserve to have someone appreciate your love, and not take it for granted, and continue to rub it in your face that he can do what he wants, (AND IS....CHEATING) and you will love him till the end.
STAND UP FOR YOUSELF and move on. Don't be a fool. Just because he brags you up, doesn't mean he loves you.
Would you brag someone up that let you do whatever you wanted regardless of the outcome. and no matter how wrong it was????? YES......you OK his behavior thererfore, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
think about that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
GOOD LUCK,
DAPHNE
P.S.........Use your head and not your heart, put all the facts in front of you and not his sweet talk,,,,,,By the way.........Is probably how he got the co worker ....Who is with him at nite when you leave....................NEVER SELL YOURSELF SHORT.......
NEVER NEVER NEVER
2006-11-17 10:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by Daphne F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't do these things that hurt you so much. My sister is in pretty much the same situation. She contacted her HS sweetheart who was married. His wife kicked him out and they have been together since. My sister just found out that she is pregnant by him. She goes on and on about how happy they are and didn't give another thought to tearing apart a marriage (even if it was not a happy one). You had no right to contact him knowing that he was still married and knowing that it would cause conflict with him and his wife. He should have decided to leave his wife on his own, not because of you. You have made your mess, now it is time to clean it up.
2006-11-17 10:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same exact boat as u .he sayz that he loves u and he does all these great things 4 u out of his own guilt.u should present him with ur evidence and tell ur not stupid,cuz men r stupid they cant hide nothing from women if there life depended on it.when u show him the evidence give him a altimamatum,then leave for awhile let his mind wonder and let him think well what is she doing ?who is she wiith?well she must b serious,but then again u have to look at his pattern he was married and left his wife for u.itz probably going to be a on going thing with him.if u truly want 2 b happy just leave.good luck i hope everything works out for u.
2006-11-17 10:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute here....isn't he married? So he's cheating on his wife, right? And he's cheating on you too. And if you're messing with him, you're doing his wife wrong too. This guy is conning everyone. A man like this will tell you anything to get what he wants. Then he'll tell another woman the same thing to get what he wants. Get the picture? He's a major loser and you need to tell him so and MOVE ON till you find a real man!!!!! And next time, make sure he's not married.
2006-11-17 10:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you had to expect it!? Honestly, didn't you ever question his morals when he left his wife for you? I know that sometimes we can be blinded by love, but HELLO - time to take the blinders off!!
He probably does love you - accordinging to his definition. Cheating isn't about love, it's about ego. He needs to cheat to feel good about himself. It strokes his ego!
If you know she is coming over after you leave, why don't you comfront him while she is there. Instead on leaving, drive around the corner and wait. When she gets there, give them 20 minutes or so, and then walk back in the house. He can't very well talk his way out of it then, can he?
Respect yourself more than he respects you! Move on with your life. Don't allow him to do this to you! You have the control!
2006-11-17 10:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must know what his wife felt like when he left her for you. You are being paid back for what you did to her. You thought you were special when he left his wife for you! Ha. The shoe is now on the other foot. Feels horrible doesn't it. The next woman he becomes involved with will feel special. And why did you pursue him after your divorce when you found out he was married. People like you make me sick. You really deserve what you are feeling now.
2006-11-17 10:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think he was prince charming? Because he "spends tons of money" on you? why did you contact him when you knew he was married? And you expect him not to cheat and lie? What do you think he was doing to his wife? you weren't the first and won't be the last. If you choose to remain friends, your prerogative, but not to be his g/f, he's a loser.
2006-11-17 10:11:15 · answer #9 · answered by nanny4hap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Male friends in the past have told me a man will say and do ANYTHING to get what they want (sex). He sounds like a pretty good actor. I'm sorry that you went through it - I've been there before and it sucks. I say he's a wolf in sheep's clothing who wants his cake and eat it too. I'm a firm believer in what comes around goes around and someday, he'll get his.
2006-11-17 10:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by Peach 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants to keep you because you are the marrying type but the other girl gives him the sense of mystery and excitement. He probably loves you and would never want to hurt you but ... you need to cut this off. He will never stop cheating on you..honestly...
2006-11-17 10:10:34 · answer #11 · answered by Dave M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋