Ok. So my husband has this bestfriend that he has had since they were 14. Here is the problem. About once or twice a month he goes to his house. When he goes he ends up being gone hours longer than he said and sometimes doesn't come home at all. He never calls to let me know he will be late or isn't coming home. He won't answer his cell phone if I try to call him. He also gets completley drunk everytime he goes. There was also an incident earlier this year. My husband rented out a bar for my birthday and threw me a surprise birthday party. His best friend and several others of his friends came. They hung just long enough for him to get wasted and then said they were leaving (around 10pm) and he left with them without even saying goodbye to me! I dont blame his friends because he is a grown man and makes his own choices, but I don't know what to do. He compains that I just don't want him to go out with out me. I don't mind him going out its jsut the choices he makes when he does.HELP ME
2006-11-17
01:02:13
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28 answers
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asked by
priss879
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 29 years old. So It isn't like he is super young. Also I realize that he has a drinking problem, he has for the ten years I have known him. Divorce is not an option. I married my husband for life (for better or worse). I did ask him to attend marriage counseling. Even though he doesn't think we need it he has agreed, for my sake. Thanks for everyones suggestions.
2006-11-18
04:27:34 ·
update #1
Your husband has a drinking problem and he and his friend come before anyone else. Including you. Try marriage counseling. Hopefully he will try to become a better husband. You need to tell him that you do not want to live this way.
2006-11-17 01:15:56
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answer #1
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answered by ? 6
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I've encountered the same issue and totally sympathize with you. Its just plane rude and disrespectful on your husband's part. The only way I was able to conquer this problem was to give him a taste of his own medicine. I have always been a very reliable person, letting my mate know where and when I'd be home, etc., yet he never game me the respect in return. All the anger and yelling never resolved anything. It's who he was, it's not his friends, it was him. I left for a good 6 months, and 300 miles away. We managed to get back together, but under the acknowledgement that he would at least agree to phone me when he's running late, and not give me falsified expectations. He realized that he didn't like the idea of me being out in the world free to do as I pleased. I even started dating! It's a whole different story when they feel the agony that they had put us through! Good luck!
2006-11-17 01:48:12
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answer #2
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answered by VISUAL ILLISIONS 2
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I hear you. My husbands best friends he has had since birth al are living in the same area as us. He is out 3-4 times a week until all hours of the night. He never drinks or does anything bad, they just joke and talk all night and eat food. They all 3 come to our house sometimes. But just be patient and talk to your husbnd about your concern of the drinking. Use a calm and quiet voice and if he raises his voice don't try to match it. Good luck.
2006-11-17 01:12:20
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Your teenage husband is a alcoholic and his best friend were together since way back....... before you came along! Some guys say they drink to get away from their responsibility at home including their nagging wife. This man has major issues that hes drinking away and usually men like him have problems that they wouldnt want to share with the wife. Do you suspect he is unhappy in your marriage why he drinks so much? Ask him when he is sober? Maybe thats his way out of the marriage unless of coarse it doesn't bother you that he drinks so much... good luck with it when hes sober.
2006-11-17 01:29:47
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answer #4
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answered by Damzel in distrust 2
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Unfortunately, he does not care nor does he respect you at all. He is using you as a convenient person to pay the bills while he does whatever he wants (and the possibility of drugs, drinking and cheating is something you need to face). He is counting on the fact that you do not believe in divorce to keep you from ever ending his fun. You can't work through this because he doesn't want to. He will continue to do this until you force him to grow up.
2016-05-21 22:30:00
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Frustrated with husband and his best friend?
2014-12-14 17:07:11
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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hey i was in a marriage for 1 year.but know i have broken up. See it's very important for you to know about what choices your husband makes bec it will definitely effect your married life. Marriage is not a joke.its a commitment that two mature people make.He should be responsible enough to listen to u.TALK to him.COMMUNICATION is very important.Be firm when you talk to him.I feel he should not stay at his best friends house without telling you.This is not done.You must see a MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR if this prob persists.TAKE CARE
2006-11-17 01:33:10
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answer #7
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answered by misha s 1
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Based on the above, I wouldn't have married a guy like that in the first place! His friends come first in his life and always will. I would move on.
2006-11-17 01:20:26
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answer #8
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answered by Rachel 7
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Any Movies Like Mean Girls?
2016-10-27 08:04:38
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answer #9
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answered by ? 6
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Husband wants to adopt step daughter ?
2017-02-04 19:11:13
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answer #10
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answered by Gardie 6
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