Is your husband entitled to spend your money?

Question

If you've been hurt and file for disability, you get approved and recieve a lump sum payment, is your husband entitled to spend that money? What if he tells you that you haven't contributed in x amount of years and you owe him? Do you feel that this is a sort of blackmail? Please, serious responses only.

What if he used it for like a riding mower? Things he wanted....

Let me just say, we've always put our money together, but I always have to ask for it.

To Mrs. Patpat - I am not stingy. He uses money however he pleases! I have always contributed either with money or doing everything around this house. He is the type who believes in not letting you into the house until he has your paycheck in hand. I have to discuss every purchase. He can give his mother $500.00 without discussion! So don't tell me I'm stingy!

Answer 1

I thought when you get married there's no his and hers, it's ours. But his attitude about not contributing in x amount of years and you owe him is wrong. It sounds like blackmail, but he needs to stop thinking only of himself, because having a selfish attitude will destroy a marriage really fast.

Answer 2

No, he is not morally entitled to it. I am not sure about legally. However, if you have been applying for it for years I am sure you have discussed what both of you planned to do when you began receiving. Honestly, if he has been supporting you for years and when you received the lump sum he requested that you buy him a riding lawn mower, I really don't see the harm in it. Heck, he's been taking care of you and more than likely you have never had to mow the lawn (most, not all, women don't). I would say he deserves your respect for caring for you and if I were you I would want to spend it on him.

Answer 3

Sounds like you should take a long look at your relationship. Does he have a good paying job that can support both of you? Is he worried about bills piling up & how to pay them? Are you worried that he will spend all your money & leave you for another woman later? It looks to me like you both need to talk & not argue over the money. Discuss his & your concerns calmly. Be frank. It sounds to me like he is a selfish horse's hind end if he is saying you aren't contributing & you owe him. Give him a bill for picking up children, cleaning house, cooking, paying bills etc.... There is more than one way of contributing in a marriage other than money. Don't give him a dime until you are satisfied with the answers to your concerns. I would not want to see you or anybody else left without money & dumped on your backside. Its not your fault you are disabled, but you still have to look out for yourself. Marriage is a 2 way street & it sounds like you both need to be in the same car or one of you get out.

Answer 4

Your husband is going to ought to understand that there is not any 'his' and 'her' money in a marriage, this is all important different and childrens money. You the two verify on the place it is going. particular, you may spend a splash on relaxing stuff, yet as a familiar rule, all enormous expenses ought to be approved with the help of the two events. at the beginning, end procuring issues on credit, era. Spending money you have no longer have been given is the worst theory ever. 2nd, each little bit of money will flow to the expenses first. No relaxing stuff till you're thoroughly caught up. as quickly as you're out of debt, you may start up saving up; set up a joint account. communicate only how a lot of his and your paycheck will flow into this. start up with a million/2 of your and his paycheck. The joint account will then be used to pay the expenses, and the leftover money could be saved up. The little bit of money that did no longer flow into the joint, you need to use for relaxing stuff. ought to the joint account no longer have the money for to hide the expenses, you up the quantity you put in each month.

Answer 5

In most families...........the money all goes together. If that is how you've done it in the past...then, expect him to want to have access to it. What do you mean you haven't contributed in x amount of years???? Have you been a housewife since you were injured?? That is a job in itself and you contribute greatly... Let's hope your money is saved or spent wisely.

Answer 6

If you have always shared your money then yes he should be able to spend it, but not on things he wants only on things that are needed. You don't owe him anything. You should honestly save this money, well what you can.

Answer 7

The problem is thinking of it as YOUR money. When you married all the stuff and money becomes OUR money.

I believe you should both mutually agree on how it is spent, so he shouldn't unilaterally spend and you shouldn't think of it as your money or his money.

Besides, if you were disabled and couldn't work and had you not gotten that settlement, wouldn't you be depending on "his" money?

It's best not to consider it "yours" and "his" but ours.

Answer 8

If he has been the sole income in the household while you were injured...don't you think he deserves a little something?

It's called sharing....it's a key tool in marriage. What are you going to do with all the money...buy crap for youself?

Answer 9

entitled? hell no. legally able, yes. youve spent his havent you? Your lump sum should go to the good of the household, not for a new boat or some such stupidity.

Answer 10

When you get married it becomes OUR'S, money,debt everything......Talk to him and tell him I am if you are having $$ problems and he is buying things that are not needed then you need to nip this now.