We've only been married for a year (first time living together) but we've dated 6 1/2 years 1st. You the saying you never know someone until you live with them well it's kinda like that. Things we thought were just minor problems became huge problems once we moved in together from jealousy, laziness, insecurity, finance everything and now it's like I want to work on things and he's not sure if he does. We're both pretty young and have never been on our own BUT that has never been a real issue with us. Now he's saying that he doesn't know what to do about anything anymore including our marriage and that he needs space. My thing is I don't mind respecting that he needs space but how long should I give him? or what should I be doing while he needs this time? we'll still be living together, same bed and all. It'll just be like we're together but we're not and that doesn't make sense to me. I thought maybe if I showed him things that he'll miss that whould work but I don't know what to do.
2006-11-17 00:57:08 · 10 answers · asked by bettyspagettii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The small issues do get to be huge issues and if you think they are big now, jsut wait till you are married, they will be worse.
Maybe I missed something but you talk only about what HE wants...what do yo want???? How can you want a situation that makes you unhappy and a man who isn't sure....?? Do yourself a favor and give him a lot of time...like forever, you don't want to find yourself with 3 kids in a few years and a hubby who goes out for a pack of cigarettes and never comes back cause hes changed his mind and things are alittle tough....get out while you can. good luck.
2006-11-17 01:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you two got married, you made a lifelong commitment to each other. You've only been married for a year, and the first year is the hardest. You owe it to yourself and him to make it work. Marriage is largely about compromise, you can't just change your mind about it when it gets hard. Do whatever you need to do to work it out. And if he really wants to leave that badly this soon into the marriage, then he's a coward.
2006-11-17 01:24:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one ever really tells you that the first year of marriage is the absolute hardest! You have to find that out the hard way! You need to make sure you are commucicating. Also you may want to try a marriage counselor or a pastor. Good luck!
2006-11-17 01:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by priss879 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the superb element you're able to do is, attempt to speak on your husband and by communicate i propose which you will possibly desire to additionally pay attention to what he might say. There might desire to be a clarification why your husband is having problems on even in line with threat thinking approximately having toddlers. probably the clarification why you the two experience which you're actually not precise for the different is by technique of the fact for now, you 2 have diverse priorities. communicate the possible considerable middle of your/his problem to make the relationship artwork.
2016-10-04 01:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs your space. That includes you. Give him the freedom of coming back when he wants too. In the meantime, you concentrate on other matters, like finance. Get a job?
2006-11-17 01:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Bl00die 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he need space give him as much as you can.first of all separate your room ,make your own friends circle hang out with them(only girls,if possible),bring your office work to home,always keep yourself busy so that he comes to you to ask do you have time for me.do all those which you thought of doing when you were single.try to enjoy yourself so that you never get time to think about him but when ever he comes to you talk with him politely,he shouldn't think that you are acting to get his attention.he should think that you are really happy when alone.at the same time don't be rude to him.act as if you are so busy that you are not able to be with him.then maybe he will need you and will come to you.try this and give me the feedback if possible.
2006-11-17 01:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by simplewife20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably saw a hot blonde chick somewhere who started flirting w/ him, and he realized he wasn't ready to get married in the first place. That goes along w/ being pretty young.
2006-11-17 01:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by Skippyrabbit 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has grown out of love and is ready to quit I suggest you to take it gracefully. Good you dont have kids. You can make new friends and may be a better relationship.
2006-11-17 01:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to grow up and be an adult and realize there is a lot to it
2006-11-17 01:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what space if hes still there? where would he go back to mom? joint decision has to be made, go or no go. seek pro counseling or pastoral if youre religious.
2006-11-17 01:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by David B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋