I have been married for 4 yrs. My husband and I each have a seperate account and a joint account , we also have seperate credit cards. I am a spender , my husband is a saver. He took my personal credit cards as well as personal debit card because he said I was spending too much money. We both work full time and are by no means hurting for money. I feel he is treating me like a child. Do I have the right to be mad??????
2006-11-17 00:54:16 · 11 answers · asked by DEBBY'S BABY 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. You have a right to be mad. I could undertand if you were spending the bill money, but if all the bills are being paid, it is your business what you spend your money on.
2006-11-17 01:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat down and talked about the goals for your future.
Do you have a budget? You both should be working toward the same goals. Is you spending that far out of control? He has let you spend till now so that tells me that you are spending more than you are bringing in. Are you helping with the household bills? Or is he footing all the bills, while you spend all your money on you . Have you looked at your spending habits? How many pairs of shoes can you wear , how many pocketsbooks can you use. Come on it sounds like he is trying to help you. Spending is like alochol . Thank goodness you have someone who cares and is trying to help you. You are not a child but you sound like one. Grow up you will not always beable to work and spend money just here and there . He is looking after your future. Appreciate him helping Set a budget and stick too it you will be glad you did
2006-11-17 01:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finances are one of the major topics that should be discussed BEFORE marriage. It's something that can ruin a marriage.
I would be mad that he took my cards, but I would also be trying to find a compromise somewhere in between his point of view and yours. Don't act like a child and insist on spending every penny you make just because you make it. But he shouldn't be acting so authoritarian like he is your dad.
When you get a little more mature you will appreciate having money in the bank, having investments that have accumulated some wealth, and not being straddled with debt. You'll also appreciate the fact that all that money you busted your hump to earn wasn't wasted on nights out, trendy clothes that you no longer wear, and who knows what else because its just plain GONE.
Find a common ground. Marriage is all about TWO people and you both need to realize that.
Good luck. This subject can cause lots of harsh feelings.
2006-11-17 01:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.
Talk to him about it. Ask him how much he thinks you should both be spending. Ask him why he feels this way and if he wants something that the two of you don't have (i.e. a house, a bigger house, a nicer car, etc.) that he's saving for.
Also, look at what you're buying. If you are spending a large portion of your income on things you don't actually need, things classified as frivolous or spur of the moment purchases, then he has a point. If not, then you should probably be allowed to do as you wish.
There is definitely a respect issue here. He should respect you enough to let you make your own choices. But if you are spending a lot, he may have a reason to be concerned. He may also not be telling you something, like that he wants to save for something special or that he's not making as much money as you thought or that he used to.
2006-11-17 01:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by jjbeard926 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have a right to be mad but he has a point. Marriage is a partnership. The two of you need to come to an agreement on this. If he i saving fo your future , you should to. But if you earn money you have a right to spend it as you wish once household bills are taken care of. Sit down and talk to him mutually agree upon a percentage that should go int savings and a percentage that canbe used as you each desire.
2006-11-17 01:04:48 · answer #5 · answered by jazzman6812 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes,ofcourse its your money and you will decide what to do with that,but at the same time even he is right ,too much spending is also not good.first you take your credit and debit card from him and make him sure that you are not spending too much ,if possible show him the expenses you have made.
2006-11-17 01:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by simplewife20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends, how much of each of you paychecks goes into the joint? Are you trying to save up for something? Who ends up having to pay for the neccesities?
My fiance is like your husband, I was really pisses off at first, until I realized that I really was wasting money, and there was no use in his working for us if I was just going to work for me
2006-11-17 01:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by Hannah L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u have a right to be pissed. If your paying your own credit card bill then he shouldn't have took "YOUR CREDIT CARD". It's your hard earned money your spending not his.
2006-11-17 01:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by mizz_gangsta_07 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, you work and make your own money and as long as you are contributing your part to the relationship then he should have no say about what you do with the rest of it.
2006-11-17 01:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by Ash 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you are right but i am sure he is doing for the best of you...he is thinking in the long run you are just living the moment ---i am sorry but i think he is right ...
2006-11-17 01:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by sapito 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋