Why would a man say this???????????

Question

What would make a man say this?

I am pregnant, and last time I was pregnant my husband made lewd comments about my body(1 year and a half ago). I won't get naked in front of him, because that made me insecure. He gets angry saying he was only joking. He had commented on how my butt spread out, the layers of fat on my legs ect.ect. If he didn't think that like he says noe, why would he say it? Am I holding a grudge too long?

Answer 1

You have a couple options.

1.) You can continue to feel sad and bad and mad about it.
2.) You can point out some of his short commings when he makes those comments.
3.) You can accept the truth, If you are gaining a few pounds, you can say, yip, i'm gaining some weight, thats what happend when your prego. If your not gaining weight you can say. Sorry, but your mistaken, i'm not gaining, then move on.

Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. If someone calls me Stupid, or fat, etc... even if its someone that i love, it doesnt bother me. Because I KNOW its not true. If my wife calls me smelly when i get back from the gym or if i just smell, I still dont get offended if i do smell because its the truth. Truth is Truth. no point of feeling bad about it.
The bad part is that i am Male and you are Female, and we are wired differently. but i hope this helps!

Answer 2

Well, I have two kids with my current husband of thirteen years, and the youngest one is five. I am still not over the cruel remarks he made during my pregnancies. We seldom have sex because I am terrified of becoming pregnant by him again. I don't believe I'm holding a grudge too long. I think it's mean to put someone through something like that then tell them it was a joke and to get over it. A sincere apology and some good behavior on his part could have settled the matter, but I guess I was expecting too much from someone who could justify treating me that way. I hope everything works out well for you, but if he doesn't understand (or want to understand) what he did I don't know what you can do.

Answer 3

Oh COME ON!
I'll say this out loud, because if all are not seeing it, you just have to be kidding. Of course I don't know exactly how he looked while saying this and how you felt. I'll never be a pregnant woman, I'm afraid. But still, it's always nice to have it going easier on this. Would it actually make you feel better if he kept slobbering about you being so amazingly beautiful while you're telling him you got terribly fat? Just have some fun, relax and hey! it is your second time.
Relax and stop thinking about it, he's probably trying to cheer you up.
Once again, I don't know how it was said or done but if you too don't speak about your problems, that's where you have a problem. Talk to him, explain and people relax.
Why would anyone start answering "He's an &&%$*le?" You don't know the man or the woman. You don't know how their life is going around. And stop giving people your opinions because all you have seen in your lives was melodramatic movies. I lived in a family where my dad didn't even see me till I was about 10 years old, 'cause he spent most of his time at work and then in a bar!! At least he's around, trying to help you out. And I'd bet he doesn't even know exactly how you feel, because you haven't told him about your true feelings.
Seriously, relax people and keep it real!
Sorry for the tone, but I just couldn't get as far as 2/3 of the answer list, it's sickening.

Answer 4

No your not holding a grudge to long. Your just feeling insecure all over again because the last time you were carrying his baby, he made a rude comment on your growing body and now your pregnant again and is scared he will make another comment on that too. But if he hurt your feelings let him know that you were carrying his beautiful child and you sacrificed your body to give him a child that he loves so much and now there is another one coming... explain that and maybe he will understand and apologize.

Answer 5

Someone once told me that when a man hurts a woman, she will never forget what he said or did to hurt her! This is regardless of the fact that the man might have tried to fix what he did or said. I have to say that your husband is very insensitive and he needs to fully understand that pregnancy changes a woman's body and emotions, and so he should be more sensitive to your feelings. Especially as during pregnancy you need to focus on having a healthy baby and not on what your husband thinks of your body. Some women may be tempted to eat less than they are supposed to,(to keep their figures) while pregnant and therefore put their baby at risk of being malnourished in the womb. I put on weight during my pregnancy (and no I didnt pig out), but I appreciate the fact that my child is normal and healthy because I took care of myself. My ex-husband also mentioned how big my butt and hips had become while I was pregnant (and no, he isn't my 'ex' because of that!). All I told him was, that it didnt matter what he thought, as our baby would love me regardless! You need to point out to your husband that pregnancy isn't an easy thing to go through and if he wants, he can take care of the children (after you have the baby) ,while u go to the gym and try to get your figure back! He will probably love your figure and convince you that you don't need to go the gym, just at the thought of taking care of the children for a few hours a day while you are at the gym! I still have my bigger body, but I have a beautiful baby girl that keeps me busy. You can't be what your husband wants you to look like physically , you have to make yourself happy first before you make him happy! And yes, its normal that you have this grudge, but talk to him about it, as communication can relieve you of some or all of the hurt. And if he gets angry, take him to a pregnancy class and get him to wear one of those pregnancy belly body suits!If only a man could get pregnant so they he could understand why we become the way we are before and after having a baby! What I don't understand is how some men think its ok to point out how big a woman becomes during or after pregnancy, when the woman doesn't have a problem with the size of their man's body!

Answer 6

for some sick reason, he likes putting you down, probably cause he isnt happy wit hsomething tin his life at the time. it makes no sense for a man to degrade the woman of his child. he wasnt dogging you when you two were copulating so why now. he is a insensitive jerk. flat out. from what i see, you look very pretty. so the problem isnt you its him. theres no such thing as a skinny pregnant woman. also, as vendictive as i am, the next time he gets naked in front of you tell him his penis could stand to be a lot bigger. i mean what the hell, if he gets madd just tell him that you were joking, it can work both ways. i bet he will never make a derogatory statement to you again. no your not holding a grudge baby, your still hurt from his comment. try what i suggested, it will work. please., and youll find that you will feel better.

Answer 7

i am going to be honest here....he wouldn't have said it if he didn't think it,he was being mean,hold your grudge as long as you want,it wasn't right for him to be so insensitive,you were going through enough emotional changes as it were you didn't need to hear him put your body down on top of it all,men who love you are supposed to be supportive,especially when you are pregnant,there is no easy answer to your problem,i could say make fun of him but that wont help the situation just make it worse and increase the tension,i could say leave the jerk but obviously if you were going to do that you would have already,i do know that he shouldn't get angry at you for being upset that he made fun of you,he should feel sorry for what he did and try to make it up to you,it doesn't mean he is a bad person and you should rush right out and get divorce papers but he at least should learn a bit of consideration for the person he suposedly loves no matter what happens to your body he married you for better or worse

Answer 8

First of all your husband is an insensitive slob. The most beautiful site in the world is a naked pregnant woman. Because he is ignorant not all men are. You have every right to be upset with him after all it is his child you are carrying. I would advise you to try and calm down so there is no affect on the baby.

Answer 9

I'd have to say your husband is a jerk. If he was joking you would have known it. I know how much goes into a pregnancy and I wouldn't want to trade places with a woman knowing what they have to go through. Did he marry you to never have kids? When you are a hot momma in a few years and he has the beer gut, no hair, etc. I think you can have the last laugh. Just don't give in to him if he doesn't love you for you and all that come with it.

Answer 10

Maybe he was just joking, but it was very insensitive especially for a pregnant woman (pregnant ladies are usually a bit more sensitive about their bodies). Speak to him about how it makes you feel when he says the things that hurt your feelings. If he continues to do it, then tell him something that men don't like. Something like "I think your penis is kinda soft lately" and see how he likes that. If he seems upset or tells you that he's upset, tell him "I was just joking!!". However, if he stops making those comments, forgive him.