Why is it that lesbians go out with women who have hair cut short and look 'butch'?

Question

I am not meaning to be offensive, just curious!

Answer 1

Because some of us find that attractive. And to the jerks that said, "she wants to be a man", get a clue and a life.

Personally, I'm 6'0" tall and would look pretty darn stupid in a dress and heels. I do have short hair, but I wear girly stuff like earrings and occasional lipstick and perfume. I use more than two hair products. I am personally attracted to androgynous women. It's simply one's own preference.

Answer 2

First of all, this is not a generalization, therefore it's not accurate to say that all lesbians are like that. Not all lesbians have their hair cut short and look 'butch', and not all the ones who don't have that 'butch' appearance and personality look for ones who do have them. There are indeed lesbians who prefer more masculine looking women, but this is strictly a personal preference, not a generalization.

And now to answer your question. Most of the lesbians are divided into two groups as far as personality and physical appearance preferences go.

1. The ones who prefer feminine appearance and/or personality.

2. The ones who prefer masculine appearance and/or personality, the so called tomboys.


I've been able to observe both groups closely. Most of the women who prefer the first group are more masculine. And most of the ones who prefer the second group are more feminine. It's an unconscious behaviour that follows the stereotypical heterosexual roles. Most feminine lesbians prefer tomboys because they see in them the strength and firmness of a man, but they also see the vulnerability inside. It's like putting masculine features on a feminine base. Masculine features created on a masculine base are worthless, but masculine features over feminine bases are attractive.
Having both masculine features AND a masculine base is like putting a piece of leather over another identical piece of leather.
But having masculine features on a feminine base is like putting a piece of veil over a piece of leather. They just click in a somehow weird, uncertain, but attractive way.
Therefore tomboys and 'butch' women encompass what some lesbians need. Their need for firmness and stability, but also the similar features that they find in each other. They complete each other. They don't like butch women because they truly want a man. It's not that they like the masculine type. They like the masculine type on a feminine base. That's all it is about.

And the attraction of tomboys to other tomboys is due to the similarity and is based more on a sense of friendship.

Answer 3

It's all a matter of personal preference... the way some straight men like blondes and some prefer brunettes. That's all.

That said, not all lesbian relationships have a "man" and a woman. Sometimes both women are more comfortable wearing masculine clothes and keeping their hair short, sometimes both enjoy high heels and skirts.

My fiancee and I are both really girly. If you saw us together you'd assume that were were good friends or sisters - until we kissed. We both have long hair, and wear girly clothes and makeup. Neither one of us is the "man" in the relationship (although I do most of the bug-killing)

Answer 4

Ok. I am a lesbian. I have dated butch and my current girlfriend is femme and I am femme also. I am attracted to some butch girls. At first glance they look like boys but then you talk to them and get to know them as a person and it becomes more apparent that they are more femme than what you think. I think butch girls dress the way they do because that's just who they are. Its just how they feel comfortable. They are sporty and low maintenance In away its like having a male type figure in your life. But when your close to a butch girl in a relationship they are not like men emotionally. Hell, I am femme and I feel that my emotional level is more that of a man. However I prefer femme women because when I am with a butch woman I feel like I am with a man in a visual aspect. I like to look at my girlfriend and see a girl. Even though butch girls can act femme they aren't totally femme all across the board. Now, I have a friend who is all about girls with short hair that wear ball caps. She says it turns her on.

Just ask yourself why you are attracted to what qualities your attracted to. It's for the same reason... just because,

Answer 5

I didn't realize they generally do...

I think SOME lesbians are just attracted to less feminine looking women...plain and simple. (and a lot of times, that short hair cut and "butch" looking woman is even MORE feminine than the woman with long hair & makeup...not always...but it happens!)

Its just preference...I know I am not a lesbian, but I've always been more attracted to "butch" women then "femme" women.... they are just sexier to me.

Answer 6

I am trying to figure out why you would say "are they Midwestern?" Anyway...Lot's of straight women cut their hair short, and lot's of gay women grow their hair long. It's a personal preference.

Answer 7

hello-- i am that person... i love women with short hair-- it totally turns me on. I dont consider myself a femme nor am i butch. I am not attracted to butches/dykes, i tend to go for the boyish look. any way, my friend;s have said that i am in denial of my sexuality. but im not. i was married, i have a father and two brothers so no need for a male figure in my life.
I cant explain why i am attracted to this type of woman-- i just am...

Answer 8

My ex looked like that. She was tall but if you looked at her beautiful body, she was actually built more like a man than a woman. No hips, small waist, big shoulders, very low voice. She told me she felt like she had too much testosterone and did feel more male than female but would NEVER go for a sex change. She was and still is the most beautiful woman I ever saw. As for me, fems do nothing for me. I'll take a butch girl, anyday!

Answer 9

Some women are like that. I am not sure that the incidence of them being environmentally cultured lesbians is necessarily the connection.

They may find that they are not attractive to most men, and may have girlfriends by default, rather than being single (mostly it is men or perhaps divorcees that prefer the single life?)

For all I know they could just mend the fuses and sex is off the agenda. This occurs in some straight relationships as well.

Answer 10

Well my girlfriend is a stud (the black communities version of butch) and I'm really feminine. I find that im more compatible with studs & we look really really good 2gether :-) No, i dont want a "man without a penis". Yuck. I dont want a man anything. My girlfriend is who she is because shes comfortable as a tomboy.