HI rommies,gay and lesbian only answer please?

Question

What would your reaction be if when you told your mom you were gay and she had to go tell everyone she could think of that i was a lesbian if i wanted that person to know, i would have told them myself p.s.she has a best male friend who is gay and she never disrespected him like that ], i lost what little respect i had left for her after that i dont believe it was her position to tell anyone its mine if i so choose to tell someone Thanks for the help.

Just a detail i should have added,my mom and i dont get along,she left her kids for a man i was on my own at 14 yr old..i have pretty much lost my family when i came out,she dident tell people because she was proud she told them so she could get the wow effect,she has put me dowm my whole life ready for this one its sooooo stupid she had to tell everyone that we were at lunch and i put a whole thing of jelly on my toast,can you believe it a whole thing of jelly so f---- what big deal but a read a few answers and thought i should tell more of the story thank you Deb

Answer 1

Let her know how you feel. If she continues to treat you like crap, move on. She's the one losing out.

Answer 2

I don't think she sees it as disrespect. Mothers share everything about their children, much like when you got your first A on a test or performed in that concert your sophomore year. A mother considers it her right, because you are her child. Consider it a good thing, if she was ashamed she would not be sharing it with everyone. Most people on this page have different levels of family strife or being disowned, so I see you as lucky to have a supportive mom. I know this does not solve the problem so far, but have you sat down with her and told her that she is not the last person you are coming out to? I first came out to my brother, he was all ready to go to my sister when I told him that he was the first to know and I was not ready to tell anyone else. Unless you tell her that you want her to keep quiet than she won't. If you have already asked her to keep quiet - then it's disrespect. Other than that you have a bragging Mom.

Answer 3

Firstly, by the sounds of it you've had a hard life. I certainly hope you're not 'coming out' to enact revenge on your mother, or most of all to try and gain attention from a gay 'struggle' let alone all the hoopla this seems to be causing. To me it sounds as though, even through your struggle, that you're crying out for attention from any kind of direction.
It seems that it has blown up in your face, because your mum is taking away your glory by making it a bigger deal than it really is.
Someone should have warned you, or guided you before you made such a decision. And the saddest thing is that you sound young to be making such a life changing decision.

I am a lesbian myself, and came out when I was 16. I have come from a hard lived background myself. I know why I chose this option, and it wasn't so disimilar to your situation.
I wish someone had come and explained to me that I didn't have to make the decisions i did when i was younger. Because now I have struggled all my life trying to justify myself, and trying to find somewhere to fit in. Even now I don't feel like I even fit into the gay community because lesbians these days seem so false, and very fashion focussed (like the superstars they idolise), which leaves my 30 age group kind of forgotten and very hard to find. Even then you find that most of them have probably been in the same situation as you are in.

Don't get to my age and wish someone had told you otherwise. Just because life throws you the raw deal now, make sure it toughens you enough to beat it. Society doesn't rule you, you make the decisions. I hope you make the right ones.

Answer 4

Why are lesbians so uptight approximately intercourse...hmmm...i've got yet to locate any that have been, myself blanketed. i'm optimistic there are plenty that are, although. As for why they're, i could wager that is only as a results of fact they're uninformed and uncertain of what to do...or assume...possibly a sprint intercourse rigidity? in undemanding terms a wager. besides... a million. Are you a drama queen? NO! ward off it like the plague. ^ 2. Why are lesbians so uptight approximately intercourse?---------------------^ 3.what's the enormous freakin vaggy deal approximately doing it for relaxing? Ummm...I have not got any theory. the way I see it, could besides take income of being youthful and robust-finding and able to bringing homestead different youthful and robust-finding ladies. i could nicely be bored whilst i'm previous. Oh, and that i'm no longer indignant by using your sarcastic c*nt-ness. honestly, that is kinda warm ;)

Answer 5

You're right that it should be your decision to come out. It doesn't sound like your mom is being malicious about spreading the word though. Maybe she just thinks it's a conversation piece, and that if you told her, you must be ok with everyone knowing.

If my mom did that I'd be a little put out, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. It's too late to jump back in the closet, so you've just got to live with it.

Sorry, and I hope everything works out ok.

Answer 6

Well there's no stopping her now. I think she only wanted to help you come out, like kind of speed up the process, but well it seems that things got out of hand. You should ask her why she had to do that, and then tell her how u feel about things. I'm sure she'll be sorry for what she did, and I hope you can forgive her if she does.

Answer 7

Well at least she is not embarrassed about you!
Ok, I understand that this is something you would have wanted to tell yourself. Tell her that and get it out of the way.
You say you only had a little respect left for her and that's now gone. Aren't you a bit harsch yourself towards your mother? I think you need to talk to her, and also listen to what she has to say.
For as far as I can see, she seems proud of you.