my significant other lost his wife. He being 36 and she 30.
2006-11-16 20:18:52 · 14 answers · asked by lanna clause 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The thing is that in this kind of situation you need to have a big heart because you are not just with this man, his deceased wife if part of your life too. You need to feel confident enough in your relationship to allow him to always keep a part of her alive. If her death occurred while they were married and still in love then that love is not dead, she did nothing to change how he should feel towards her... Just always be there for your man and help him as best as you can... If he loves you he must have good taste in women... just always respect his memories of her.
2006-11-16 20:31:26 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a past, and his unfortunately was quite tragic. He will always love his wife, just as you will always love people in your past. Once you truly love someone you will love them forever; however not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime. He will recover from the pain of losing his wife in time. Time is the key here...He would have let you know if he was not ready to get involved with you. If he hasn't said that he is not interested, you have the green light to move ahead with the intention that your relationship is going to progress in its own good time. For now, sit back and enjoy the ride, nothing feels better and helps heal a broken heart better than a new exciting love. Enjoy!
2006-11-17 04:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. I just married my husband 4 months ago he lost his first wife 7 years ago. You need to remember it is not like a break up or divorce. He did not ask her to leave and he does not have any negative feelings towards her. Death is a lot different than divorce in that aspect. Keep remembering that she was his past and you can be his future. Is there children involved? Please give him time it could be well worth the wait, mine was. Good luck and if you would like to talk just email me.
2006-11-17 06:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he getting over it ? It's sad, I think , to lose someone you actually got along with. How long have you been around him ? He has to be ready to move on, and 5 yrs. is enough. I know you never really get over some deaths, but at some point, he has to go on with life. Have you been there for him , through it all ? Or did you recently meet ? 3-5 yrs. is not recent. She's been gone, for a long time. Long enough. He needs to be happy, again.
2006-11-17 04:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't follow your question. When did you become involved with him? When they were still together or after she passed?
You have to get used to the fact that you may not have "all" of him during his grieving time. People can grieve for months or even years.
He may also talk about his wife alot or compare his wife to you. So you have to be prepared for that also.
You can be there for him as a friend but relationship wise, it's going to suffer.
It is hard to love someone when they are unable to reciprocate that love back as much or as often as you want.
2006-11-17 04:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's still grieving, then maybe you need to back off. Losing someone you love, especially a spouse, is the most terrible thing to go through. Some people never get out of the sadness rut they are in. Try to talk to him and let him know whats up. Good luck.
2006-11-17 04:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by oregongreen 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Meet him as frequently as possible and give him company for a duratin during those meetings. Take some nice eatable things when you go to meet him. Invite him to your place for lunch or dinner once in a while. This will easen up his pent up feelings and help him to love you.
2006-11-17 04:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After4 years you still need to be gentle and careful. He/she needs to let go and step into the world though. Death is much different than divorce but gone is gone. Seeing someone else after losing your mate is natural. You/he/she must mourn but then it needs to be put away. So to answer your question... carefully and slowly.
2006-11-17 04:26:14 · answer #8 · answered by Casca 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I want to thank you for asking that question,
I just lost my husband Feb 10, 06
everyone keeps telling me to move on but,it is hard.
the person you are talking about needs a lot of love and understanding, if you really care and love him ,just hang in there,
it just takes time. if his wife died suddenly or if he saw her suffer
but to me suffering is worse because you live it over and over in your mind. he may need counseling. I KNOW IT IS HELPING ME.
I saw my husband suffer with cancer for 13mo,
so just give him time sounds like he isn't ready for serious relationship. just talk to him ,let him , talk about his late wife.maybe he needs that .
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU.
2006-11-17 05:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i fell in love and married 2 years after he lost his wife. it takes a lot of understanding and letting him open up and cry about his loss. also, let him express his feelings about her and talk about her whenever he needs to.
2006-11-17 05:23:41 · answer #10 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋