Ive been married for one year and i want a baby. He always uses a condom and i always dont take my pills. (but he doesnt know)
how can i get pregnant while he is sooooo protective in this way. he says its too early to have a baby. and i want one of ours. please help:(
2006-11-16 19:56:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your first mistake is in the way your thinking...
He seems to be telling you the truth about his feelings, and you return his truth with deception... Take the pills.
Marriage is supposed to be based on truth and trust... If you get pregnate in spite of his feelings, by some deceptive method, what have you gained ? I don't know what "it's to early to have a baby" means. But it obviously means something to your husband. Talk to him about it...
Even "after" you have children, your first obligation is still going to be to your husband and his first obligation will still be to you. If your going to start putting things (children) ahead of your obligation to your husband now, what will it be like later on ? I think the answer to that question is; You'll be a single parent and your husband will be looking for someone who is honest, trushworthy and puts him first in their life...
Sure you want children. The fact that you say so, makes a you a pretty good person in my book. But having a baby is going to be ten times as good, when the baby is born to two parents who want them, love them and raise them together...
2006-11-16 20:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by homerjoy1945 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is a big decision and one you BOTH should make together. You've already admitted to dishonesty in the relationship by not telling him you don't take your pills. This is not the time to bring a baby into the picture. You need to fix the relationship first. I understand the desire to have a baby, but I also know that purposefully getting pregnant without your husband's consent, in fact behind his back, will cause more harm than good. Discuss it with him again. Sit down together and make a list of pros and cons about trying to get pregnant now. If he doesn't agree to it now, then try to set a time- perhaps in 6 months or a year- when you can discuss the issue again. Pressuring him will only make him want it less. In the meantime, enjoy being a couple before you become a group.
2006-11-16 20:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by rcarterblignaut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men tend to think of finances, while us women think with our hearts and worry that our biological clocks are running out of time to conceive.
Depending on where you are with your finances as a newly married couple, though, he may have a point. He may want to enjoy being married for a while before bringing the sleepless nights and diapers into the picture. Although you may not approve, there's nothing wrong with that. There's a lot to think about before you have children.
If you are going out a lot, or if you party on the weekends, you may want to wait, because once that baby gets here, you're not going to have time or energy for either. If you're living in a one-bedroom apartment, one of you isn't working, or bills are tight, that could be a good reason, too.
Don't worry, hon. He'll be ready eventually. Enjoy being married for another year or so, and then get pregnant. You'll appreciate it more when you and your husband have grown a stronger bond, and the desire for the baby is mutual.
2006-11-16 20:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is probably right, unfortunately. If he is uncomfortable with the idea of having a baby, you shouldn't try to get pregnant right now. Give yourselves a couple years to just "be a couple" and enjoy yourselves. Once you do have a baby you'll be in for several decades of parenting joys and tears (parenting doesn't stop at age 18!), what is waiting another year or two for it if your husband is uncomfortable right now?
Once he's ready, I'm sure he'll be just as into it and thrilled as you are when you finally do get pregnant.
2006-11-16 20:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by Erika S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take your time if you get pregnant he may leave you at lease he is being honest about not wanting a baby i feel you married want to add to the fine life try a pet until he is ready dont push him out the door he may feel like a baby will take away from him be patient talk to him and ask him when do he think he will he be ready ask him to set a date if possible when the two of you can start working on concieving
2006-11-16 20:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to respect your husband in this area. It is his life, too, and it is NOT a good idea to go behind his back and take his life in your hands. You're already lying to him, which is a bad sign, and then you'll go and ruin his life? I think you need to examine your priorities. I know the desire to have a child can be so strong, but if you also want a husband you need to go back on your pills and learn to discuss things like a mature adult. When you are both ready, then that will be the best time.
2006-11-16 20:02:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Respect your husbands wishes. You must have known this when you got married? Talk to your husband about how you feel, but dont get pregnant until you are BOTH ready. It wouldnt be fair on you, your husband, or the baby......
2006-11-16 20:06:43 · answer #7 · answered by michelle s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend in this same situation and i am telling you that you should sit down and try talking to him and tell him you feel that it is time to have a baby..i dont think it is right that you are going against him adn trying to get prego..when the time is right it will happen
good luck
2006-11-16 20:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by kamdens mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's time for a baby in that relationship. If you've stopped taking your birth control regularly without telling him, then you are already deceiving him. I'm sorry, hon, I have to agree with your husband.
2006-11-16 20:06:57 · answer #9 · answered by mreheather6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and be patient.. Don't rush into having a baby.. Enjoy your time with your husband.
2006-11-16 20:02:37 · answer #10 · answered by tearzofaprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋