I am seperated for 10 months. he is not a decent guy, but he is terminally ill. Should I hang in there, because he says he needs me, or should I go ahead and file for divorce. Our relationship is complicated. He is a great friend, but not a good husband, has cheated, and been physically abusive. We live in seperate homes, but we are still together on paper.....I have guilt, but know that I can never live with him again...What should I do???
2006-11-16 19:19:05 · 15 answers · asked by mlw6366 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try finding a Christian church near your home and get counselling from the Pastor. It is free and with good results. You will receive love and goodness and many prayers. If you can also join a women's Bible Study. Get into the Word of God. You will never regret it. Your confidence will just shoot up 100%.
Praying is POWERFUL. Trust me I know. I have seen major changes in my life, marriage and children...all for the better...
Get the book "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. Very Very Good. Pray! It is the only way you will start seeing positive changes in yourself and your husband. If you can wait, don't get a divorce and see if your husbands condition gets any better.
Here's a verse for you.
Jer 29:11-13
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
I pray the best for you & your hubby.
God Bless!
P.S. you can email me if you want.
2006-11-17 09:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry that you have to live with that but being the fact that he's unfaithful in that aspect and he's abusive, you might as well just get it over with and get a divorce. Being that your basically seperated anyway you don't need to live with this for the rest of your life. If he doesn't have that much longer to live, you should probably make his last days worth it for him and try to work on things so maybe it will put your soul at ease when it's all said and done with. At least try to be friends. Good Luck
2006-11-16 19:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by funkymonkey86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand how you can call him a great friend and then add that he cheated and physically abused you. You don't owe him anything. In fact- are you sure he is being truthful with you about his illness and not just manipulating you?
Do what feels right for you. You may completely cut him off- and that would be ok. Or maybe you want to call him and check on him sometimes. That would be ok too. You have no reason to feel guilty whatever you decide.
2006-11-16 20:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. You said he cheated and he was physically abusive and on top of that he is ill! You already tried your best being with this man. You are also not happy with him and he doesn't have the motivation to change for you or for him.
File for divorce and move on. You will be so much happier that way and you know that. You will also feel light and healthier because the burden is off your back.
2006-11-16 19:26:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you say he is a great friend so there is still some kind of friendship happening there okay not love and not the way he treated you and now he is dying and needs you. I would be his friend and help him in his time of need after all he will be leaving you soon and make his last days comfortable. yes he hurt you and you don't love him but your still okay to be his friend. so do just that he probably knows your love for him is gone now. but you can still be his friend and hold his hand through this time. he's probably scared and afriad of the unknown and he only knows you even if you did have some rough patches. be there for him this will be your last greatest gift you gave him . and then you can go on with your life afterwards.
2006-11-16 19:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to be married to him to be his friend and support him. You can be his friend, be there for him and support him through this without living with him or being married to him. If he is not a good husband there is no reason to be married to him. Don't feel guilty. You have no reason to. You did not make him terminally ill, a cheater, or an abuser. You have to think about what makes you happy. Best of luck!
2006-11-16 21:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by ddbach1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not decent dont even think of going back, move on with your life. If possible pay him a visit once in a while (since you mentioned he is terminally ill), but thats about it. Dont feel sorry/pity for him hes getting back all that he did just move ahead with your life..
2006-11-16 19:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by funnysam2006 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think i will better for you guys to just be friends, because as you describe it, it is not a healthy relationship. You can still care for him and be there for him when you can but I don't think the whole marriage thing is making you happy or working out for you to, so think about it!
2006-11-16 20:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lady-bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. If it's over, it's over. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Otherwise he'll think you are ending it because he's sick. Be there for him as a friend but make sure he knows that you can't do it anymore.
2006-11-16 19:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by oregongreen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 05:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋