no sex in 2 years living together 3 years?????

Question

long time ago we did it like rabbits. now i am LUCKY to get it on our anniversary. I make dinner 98% of the time, bring home flowers and all that crap constantly, clean house, i work more hours than her (as an architect) and she NEVER wnats to do anything sexual? she seems to conside it "dirty" even though we have been together 5years???????????????

she is not gettingit elsewhere...
she leaves the house at 8:30 and comes home at 3:30 and she is more of a prude than anything.

dotcmoer... ido all of that trust me it is no solution. I have given her 7-8 foot messages this month slone..

we have done "weekends out" I spent over $1000 for a 2 day skiing trip for us which resulted in her being too tired each night...

Answer 1

Surprised you are still around...honestly. You are a trooper! Maybe her sex drive is non-existant. If she is taking medication it may be effecting her. Ask her to go to the doctors and have it checked out. Sounds like some counseling would be beneficial too, to say sex is "dirty". Marriage counseling would also be of benefit. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Mate I agree with some of these other posts. Something is going on here. If I was you I would try a romantic weekend away - find a room with a spa and a beauty treatment and give her a chance to unwind and relax.

You are a couple and with her in a pleasant state there must be a reason if she still dodges you.

Dont feel like she owes you any favours as a result of you doing housework or spending 15 dollars on flowers - women dont work like that mate!

I hope everything works out for you. Dont be afraid to be clear in your expectations of the relationship - just dont be forceful or demanding. There is middle ground that is fair and normal and if she wont meet you there find out what the reason is.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well, that's the problem you expect it.

Seduction is an art, bringing flowers is not seduction, neither is cleaning the house.

Take her out on a date. Don't expect it, just take her OUT to dinner, hold her hand, compliment her.

It's the little things that count.

Cleaning the house is NOT a form of seduction, I don't know what gave you that idea. Plan a trip.

Give her a nice massage, stop thinking about only you and what YOU do. Appreciate what she does.

Read what you wrote again.

Nothing you do is actually about HER.

Or hey, maybe she's getting it elsewhere, because you aren't in tune with her needs.

Sometimes CUDDLING is a nice way to get her going, be sweet.

You seem like you are a complainer.
No one wants to screw a complainer.

Answer 4

I can't help but feel sorry for you. I do the same thing to my husband. The only reason why I can say this happens is that, while we think about sex, and love you so much; we just don't want to go through with the act. Wometn are getting more mentally exaughsted then we ever used to. We start out wanting it, and then we just turn the act around in our minds to that we don't want it for whatever reasons - not getting hurt, was my partner pleasured, work, kids, bills, etc...the only thing i can say is to talk to her, or get some marriage counseling.

Answer 5

No, it does not help something. I even have basically seen this grouping with the mentally challenged and seniors on Yahoo. different places oftentimes placed us with the heteros in a relationship area - yeah, like i'm looking thus far somebody. it is all tremendously stupid, once you think of approximately it. we've the LGBT, through fact we are all discriminated in line with a mutual factor - we're not born organic heterosexuals interior the astounding bodies. C'est l. a. vie, i think. i certainly do no longer care. It has certainly presented me with a thank you to get to be attentive to folk I in all probability in no way would have if i replaced into separated with only gay adult adult males. Which, isn't something i certainly desire. i assume it is going alongside with the clarification I refuse to stay in a gay community. I should not be separated. i'm nonetheless human.

Answer 6

Hi Bill,
My soon to be husband lived the same way with his ex-wife, turns out she had a plan, a dirty plan. She was getting "time" in, in the marriage to secure her financial future without him. She was awarded $662.50 a month in spousal support and half of his retirement funds for 7 years. They, like you, had sexual relations only on their anniversary. She always had excuses to not be intimate. So, if your married, be aware, she may have a plan and she may be seeing someone else on the side like my mans' ex was. Good luck.

Answer 7

This is probably not going to be the best advice, but i think you should flip it on her, make her feel the way you do, unwanted, unapprettiated... see how she reacts to it. If it really bothers her you know that the problem is not that she does'nt care. If she just goes along with it without inquiring as to what is going on, then you have bigger issues. Be prepared for the worst. Good luck man.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like she has underlying issues in your relationship. Let me ask a couple things...do you watch porn or visit strip clubs or idolize sexy women in front of her? Have you had children? Maybe she's not feeling sexy. Some things to try...try making a night all about her!! I understand that you need sex, however, trust me in the fact that is she's satisfied, you will be too!! Pleasure her in every way you can...rub her feet, make her feel sexy and take care of her suxually for a night or two. She may need a renewed sense of feeling sexy and that when you do nice things for her that it's not primarily to initiate sex.

Answer 9

Is it worth asking one of her friends for an idea on what the go is.... females tend to unload on their friends. She might feel all the "crap" you do undermines her worth in the relationship which in turn doesn't do much for her self-esteem and can lead to a bit of a shut-down (lock-out in your case) in the bedroom because it may be the only thing she feels she still has control over.

Answer 10

Some people are just not compatible. Sounds like when love was new, she was willing to make compromises for you. But now she has you trained, she doesn't have to make any concessions to you - you're doing everything to please her, without her having to make any effort.

If you can't sit down and discuss this honestly, then there's something hugely wrong with your relationship in other ways, too. A successful relationship is all about communication - without it, it's doomed. Make her sit down and talk about this. If she won't, you have your answer.