that i am a xdresser. i have been for some time and just recently came out to my gf about it, i would really like to spend the holidays as Michaela. my quetion is should i warn my family ahead of time or just show up and explain my self?? i am serious about this i do not know how they will react.
2006-11-16 17:12:45 · 14 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Michaela, the thing is, if this is who you really are, your family would accept you. I learned this from my son, who just came out of the closet this summer. I wasn't exactly thrilled and perhaps I still have issues about it. I suppose it is the manner in which he came out - screaming it and insisting I accept him after blaming me that he can't be himself. I had to think about that because he really struggled with bringing this to our very conservative family that frowns on gays. Well, I did a little "research" and sort of announced to everyone BEFORE our annual family picnic that he had come out of the closet. To my surprise, just about everyone I told said they already knew. You know what's best - not a single one said anything bad about it. They were very supportive and told ME that there is nothing I can do about it, to just accept him (not that I wouldn't). This was very reassuring to me.
Some of the people here have suggested that perhaps you might let people in on your struggle before attending the family function as Michaela. It isn't to see what their reactions will be but to give them a chance to let it sink in so they aren't shocked like my son did to me. I think people will be more receptive as they take the verbal announcement into their imagination so that when they do see you dressed, they will have no qualms about it - it will be as if they've seen you as such always.
It's so much easier to warm up to if it is something unexpected. I'm sure you will find, as I did, that family will not care - they love you - no questions asked!
Happy Holidays!
2006-11-16 17:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is fair to your family to just walk in as Michaela. You really do need to sit down with them and explain to them what is going on and what your feeling. If you just walk in on them like Michaela then you are going to really upset your family. Because after shock comes anger. So to keep yourself safe then you need to wait till after the holidays and then talk to them. You have waited this long a couple months is not going to matter. I do believe though that you know how their going to react. Like most people would, they would be shocked because this is a secret only you knew about. So keep in mind that you are going to come out to them but don't wreck their holidays by just walking up the diva and springing it on them. Because the reaction you could get could be a violent one. And then everyone including you will feel badly. So Good Luck.
2006-11-16 19:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be ready for acceptance or rejection. Do your own thing during the holidays but don't spring it on the family on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. If you must do it during the holidays, invite the fam to your place for drinks or something. It's definitely a touchy issue and if this is who you are, then congratulations because many people still haven't discovered exactly who they are. If you have to with the family; subtle hints before the holidays, start wearing makeup around them, let them "oops" discover something in the laundry. Good luck!!
2006-11-16 17:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by phoozball 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nicely, it looks you mustn't wait any more to address a number of those subject matters! The extra time that passes, the more severe the animosity will be between both of you. Plus, with children contained in the blend they want you 2 to make up! possibly she replaced into and nonetheless is jealous, possibly she do not have as large of a guy as you've and she or he's eco-friendly with envy of you. also, being that she needed to have a touch one and her major different did not and then she got here across out you and your husband were waiting for, she felt it then too. Who is attentive to her reasoning, yet someone ought to be the bigger individual and are available to a call all of those subject matters, in spite of if that individual ought to be you! So my ideal suggestion to you'd be to address them on to her, only said as her up and tell her that you bypass over the friendship you had and that you fairly want to bypass back to having that. clarify to her what you want out of the project and note how she responds. If she would not provide you with the reaction you want or want, only bypass on inclusive of your life, and say you tried, and do not live on it anymore. one project i have discovered in life is that you get nowhere without communique. She would not understand what your feeling and also you do not understand what she is feeling. So only call her and note the way it is going, yet do not ward off the entire family individuals, you may continually be interior a similar living house and not in any respect verify with someone! ;-) reliable good fortune lady!
2016-11-24 23:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell them first because some of them may flip out depending on how open or closed minded your family is. if your gf is ok with it then bring her along for the revealing of the new you and have her as support. if you just show up they may think your not serious about this and its a joke or it may be very controversial and start something that will badly affect everyone involved.
2006-11-16 18:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would give them advance warning. people may struggle with this and you have to give them some time.i think its ok to let them know, but it might be a little soon to come over as Michaela at Thanksgiving...but maybe at Christmas, once they've had time to think about it. good luck
2006-11-16 17:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by Queenie Peavey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand gay or straight,
but cross dressing i don't like.
wait till after the 1st of the year to spring this
one on the kinfolk.
timing is key ,
christmas is a day for everyone
and you would make a big mistake
springing this one on the kinfolk during the holidays.
2006-11-16 19:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by john john 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't shock your family at the holidays! You have the rest of the year to be fun/silly/sexy/ in your other persona. The holidays are for peace, love, conversation, eating, sharing with your family... You can tell this to them at anther time and way.
Gregory
2006-11-16 17:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is the right time to do it. I think it would be selfish of you to take away from the happiness of others to fulfill a desire (not need) that you have. If you want to tell them about your lifestyle, go ahead, I don't see anything wrong with that, but to shock them would be rude and selfish. Play nice! :-)
2006-11-16 17:29:52 · answer #9 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its gonna be really hard on your family,especially your parents who raise you as man.Of course you want to get that off your chest.But its an selfish act,I mean you just want yourself to feel better and relieve.What if your gf want to change into a man?
2006-11-16 17:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋