I am 15 years younger than him, I'm 20, he's 35. We've been married for 3 years, and we are very happy and in love and enjoy each other's company. My husband works alot though, and even when he comes home he is still on his lap top, and making phone calls, sometimes until 10:00. I think i'm attractive, i don't have that many issues with my body, i work out 5 days/week, lift weights, have done competitive sports for years (it was at one of these races that we met at) I'm not overweight or anything. I know that he likes muscular butts, but, he always says that i have such a nice one, i don't know, he just hasn't seemed attracted at all over the last year i guess. i do have small boobs, and that is one thing that i'm self concious about, he says he doesn't mind though. but, i don't know. like tonight, i shaved everywhere down there, and i'm usually just trimmed, i put peppermint lotion on and was walking around naked, and not so much as a glance. makes me feel awful, whats up?
2006-11-16 17:01:32 · 10 answers · asked by Hannah A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also, whenever i hint around or ASK him to have sex (i HATE asking, it's so embarrassing to me) he's like a dud, like "yeah, we will" and stuff like that, and when i ask him why he doesn't notice this, or seem interested, or touch me as much as i do him, he's like "ok, i'll try harder" or "i will" and of course he doesn't. tonight he said again " ok, i'll try" the same thing he said a month ago, this makes me upset! and then when i do talk about it, he gets upset because it's at night, and he needs his rest, and he always says "why do you have to talk about this at night" :(
2006-11-16 17:29:30 · update #1
another additional detail: he seems ready physically whenever i touch him, but, mentally no. I'll do slight things and his body will respond, but, then i expect some initiative towards me on his part, but, that very rarely happens. sex for us is like a planned thing, i end up asking, cause he never suggests, and sometimes he agrees, but, lately i feel like he feels like he "has" to have sex, i want him to want to!
2006-11-16 17:42:38 · update #2
Girl, you need to ask him, whats up! He may be going through a difficult time at work,he may have a lot on his mind. But that being said, you paint a beautiful picture and if you are being that obvious about needing some loving, and attention, and he is ignoring you, than either he is either totally immersed in his work, and exhausted, or he is not interested at all. Why? Perhaps he is playing around,, I hope not for your sake. Just come out and ask him in a level tone of voice. " Is there something wrong, look at me, I love you and need you." He should come clean if he is a good man. If there is a problem, it should be something you can work on together. if it is a physical thing, as you said, small breast, than he is being shallow. I really doubt that is the problem. Just be firm , and again ask him what is going on. Remember he obviously loves you, as you are married, and he owes you an explanation. Good luck to you!
2006-11-16 17:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by stevensings20032001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer that for you. You have described how i feel. My husband and I have the same problem. But we have only been married a year and already not being connected. We had sex the day after we married and then not for 3 or 4 monthes. I feel nasty all the time and I stopped caring. I dont shave as much and I feel wierd when I change in front of him. We have bought sex toys and never once have we used it. I feel like he doesnt want me. But I will truly never know. Maybe u wont either. We still dont have sex but every now and then. I am sorry for what u are going through. I hope it gets better.
2006-11-16 19:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by imthemomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... I hope you feel better now that you vented. Some people take what they have for granted. You are right...everyone needs to know that they are attractive especially from your spouse. I think he doesn't take the situation as serious as you do. I think his type is skinny women. I'm sure you have your reasons for marrying him but he doesn't sound like a great guy. I would get serious with him and tell him to stop or he'll lose you(and that's what will happen) Hopefully he's smart enough to realize what he has before it's gone. I wouldn't take that crap. If that was my wife saying that I would say if you have a problem with it! then get leave!! if not then shut up!!!!
2016-03-28 23:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 35 not 20 anymore. But still, maybe he's mired into his work, stress and all. Don't put so many demands on him. Get Viagra if he is open to it, maybe he has a problem with performance and he is avoiding sex. Sadly, some people are drawn to novelty and when a relationship matures, it gets boring for them. He just seems preoccupied with work/stress. Get him to relax, massage, vacation or whatever.
2006-11-16 17:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very easy for guys to get in a rut and just think about one thing. he might have thought that once he has you he doesn't need to do that much to keep you. obviously you are dissappointed about how he is treating you. the perfect solution would be you mention it to him, in a way that shows you want compromise and know that he is not intentionally hurting you. but says that you are hurt and want to work through this with him. you might have to listen to how work isn't going well and he is under stress or is trying to prove himself at work. but bring him back to the fact that you want more balance and attention in the relationship and if he's a good guy he will listen and come around to paying more attention.
2006-11-16 17:24:11 · answer #5 · answered by dt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's like this,ten years ago you would have had to beat him off you to have a minute of peace but as a man gets older we tend to get comfortable in our relationships..Between work and rest there isn't much time for anything else..This is the very reason generation gap relationships are so hard..I'm sure he is attracted to you but it sounds like his mojo is running low..Don't think it's you it's not and I'll bet if you asked him he would tell you it's not..
2006-11-16 17:16:37 · answer #6 · answered by john316tdh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a little feminine. work on your boobs leave thinking about the muscular butts.
2006-11-16 17:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by journey2paradise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boredom? maybe hes losing his ability too keep it up? go ask him or you wont really ever know and may come to the wrong conclusion.
2006-11-16 17:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by Thumper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt have anything to do with you. He sounds like a workaholic.
2006-11-16 17:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wtf???
Did he win you over with some sweets?
2006-11-16 17:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋