I affair wth my husband's best friend,moved in wth him 3 years- not divorced.Can I go back for my daughter?

Question

I thought of going back for my daugther and my husband after so much I spoke he just said wait for the time.He doesn't even know that I staying with my lover, when he comes to fetch my daugther I will be in my sister's house. I am really in the mess but dont know how to solve this problem as feel that I hurting my husband and daughter for what I have done. When the divorce was final last two years I stopped because of my daugther future. But I am very worried of how I am ging to be if I am back with my husband. But at the same time I feel very very hurt for what I have done now. My daughter loves the two man. She even know that she cant talk about my lover to my husband. My daugther is 3 years old.Anybody please halp me I know you all would say whar ***** I am but I need a solution for all this mess.I dont know whether I will be find wothout my lover.He is wiling to marry me.

Answer 1

You need to be honest, because eventually your daughter will speak and it will not be her job to keep secrets for you. You are acting cowardly. You brought all of this upon yourself. Instead of messing around in the first place, you should have opened your mouth and told your husband how unhappy you were and gave him a chance to improve before you got so drastic. You have no choice but to tell the truth, just don't be surprised when he says no, I don't want you back. Your daughter will put all the pieces together when she is older. You need to be honest and get this fixed so you don't look like a tramp to her later!

Answer 2

Have you ever thought about getting back to reality??You are in a mess and there aren't many real solutions to this problem..You can go to your husband (or ex-husband) and come clean about the whole deal or you can go to your lover and hope it all goes away..The first one is probably not going to work out well for you but really this is a lose/lose situation that your in..I would say it is a good time start living a life instead of the lie you have been living..Lose both guys for a while or at least until you get your head straight..For God's sake don't continue f*****g up your child's life..Let her stay with the father where she won't be tied up in this mess any more..

Answer 3

None of us are perfect. All you can do is say that your sorry. If you love your husband, then tell him. Many marriages survive an affair. You need to think about WHY you had the affair though. If you have fallen out of love with your husband, had an affair with his friend, and now realize you don't like his friend either, you shouldn't go back to your husband, or stay with the friend just because he will marry you and take care of you. Sometimes we come to a point in our lives it is better that we are alone, and not depending on someone (a man) to take care of us and make us happy. Think things through before you make a decision. Do the right thing for you AND your daughter.

Answer 4

Get out of this situation, and be alone for awhile. Think of your daughter, for a three year old to have to keep secrets about her mothers "lover" is insane. Take care of her, and yourself - forget the men for now. You need to clear your mind and stand on your own two feet. This bouncing back and forth will just do more damage to you and your daughter. Life is too short to try to maintain all this deception.

Answer 5

My husband is 6 years younger than I am, and we're very happily married. I don't feel bad about it at all.

Answer 6

Take them all on the Jerry Springer show and let the two men duke it out you can go home with the winner then come back 6 months later when your sleeping with the winners brother.... Someone should call child protective services and find someone willing to be a mother to your child since your not being one

Answer 7

honesty is the best policy. it's the only way. it will come out eventually. children have a way of feeling when things are not right. the older she gets she will subconsciously wonder why she can't tell daddy about Mr. and it will slip. think of the mess, and mistrust.rather you realize it or not, the guy that you are with is already thinking of how deceitful you are. he doesn't trust you.

Answer 8

Wow usually I don't judge, but you give a bad name for women who know what self respect is! You also put a bad taste in my mouth. Oh Darn... I meant in the best friends mouth.

I know your daughter will lose all respect for you, because most of here did. He is willing to marry you, yeah right. He knows you... are capable of screwing one of his best friends. Heck you should try family next, why not you have no respect for yourself, your ex, his best friend and foremost your daughter.

Answer 9

Hun you need some you time, you dunno the difference between night and day!

You need to be alone and find yourself, learn to be alone, get some self esteem, love your self then get your head out of your butt and start being a mom, stop stressing your 3 year old child with your nonsense, she needs a mom!!!!

You just need to dump them both and get a fresh start with you!!!! learn to value yourself and after you do that and learn how to be a mother then start dating again and this time try to keep your legs closed and be faithful.

Answer 10

Talk about trash !!!!!! You are what they call scraping the bottom of the trash can now. And look what you are putting that baby of yours threw, telling that child to lie for you. I hope your husband finds out the truth about you and don't ever want any thing to do with you, or his so called friend, and I hope you don't see you baby again until you GROW UP!!!