Assuming gays are exceptions to the norm is dangerous fallacy?

Question

Most of us were encouraged in this mind-set by our childhood toys programs and treatment. Barbies are sold to go with Kens, adults coo over boys and girls when they hold hands, but adults separate boys and boys and girls and girls who are too affectionate. Basically, throughout our childhood, heterosexuality is encouraged, applauded and required, making me wonder if being straight isn't the more “unnatural" thing after all.....
Were We Brain-washed..........??

someone....put down the crack pipe...seek help

In fact, I hope that eventually homosexuality will be treated like left-handedness: mildly uncommon but nothing to get uptight about.

Answer 1

I don't feel that any sexual orientation is more natural than any other, although heterosexuality certainly is espoused as the one that is. I don't think we're brain-washed per se- rather, our society is heteronormative, meaning that everyone assumes everything is straight unless proven otherwise. Naturally, because we believe that, we act like it and perpetuate the world as that way (with Barbies and Kens and what not). It's not conscious brain-washing, just a belief that the way things are for a majority of people, combined with how things used to be (history has inertia), that makes it continue.

However, it seems to me that people who are different have always managed to cope. Little girls who grow up to be lesbians get Barbie and Stacy together, little gay boys have their action-figures get it on . . . making do with what they have.

Very intriguing question.

Answer 2

If it's true that people are programmed to want their genes passed on to progeny, then it's the norm to want to have children that will pass them on. And if your son is gay, the odds may seem to the parent to be somewhat diminished that he will do so. Similarly if their daughter is a lesbian, the odds may "seem" to have been diminished that she will give birth. So no doubt some conditioning goes on, even if for the most part it probably isn't or wasn't necessary. And it is a tragedy when this conditioning, as it admittedly often does, forces some children to grow up in the proverbial closet.
This doesn't translate into a situation where straight is more unnatural than natural, if the conditioning was more of an insurance effort than any of the more ominous efforts.
It's not likely that if there has been a constant 3% percent of the population that is and was gay, the lack of such social conditioning would have resulted in the 3% becoming anywhere near 50%.

Plus another function of conditioning is to make the child competitive in the role that nature has destined him or her to play in the first place. So rather than alter that destiny, it's meant to make the road more easily traveled. But of course trying to mold the child into something they have no capacity for to begin with can have disastrous consequences.
In any event, we all know that, no matter what we profess, we will do pretty much the same with our own children as everyone else tends to do.

So there's no dangerous fallacy there that I can think of, unless you can propose a syllogism that reaches the opposite conclusion without falsifying the premises.

Answer 3

You might not like 'rompecorazones' answer but he has a point. If a drastically higher percentage of human beings had NOT always been heterosexual, we would have died out as a species long ago. This does NOT make homosexuality 'unnatural' however. Regardless of how small the percentage is or has been (approximately 2-3% of the population for as long as we've had written histories), it is CLEARLY natural for THAT percent. TECHNICALLY this makes homosexuality an 'exception to the norm', but thats only because 'the norm' means what is typical, average, the highest percentage.

You're seeing peoples current behavior towards children as causing heterosexuality, when in fact it is heterosexuality that causes the behavior you're describing.

Eventually, when homosexuality is accepted as just another facet of human existance, none of this will be an issue. It's going to take a while, but it's inevitable.

Answer 4

I think your general premise is correct. Heterosexuality is a naturally occurring orientation, just as homosexuality is. It may be helpful for you to check out Alfred Kinsey's work on human sexuality. He showed that most people are not completely straight or gay/lesbian, but have certain leanings one way or the other. Bisexual persons tend to end up right in the middle. This finding is corroborated by Dean Hamer, geneticist, whose research strengthens if not proves that homosexuality, at least in many homosexual persons, is a genetic trait, and one with adaptive advantages for our species (particularly for those who inherit certain homosexual traits while their orientation is hetero). There is also biological basis for asserting that homosexuality is as natural as heterosexuality. I hope justice and vindication comes to the GLBT community soon. You do have allies on the other side! Take care.

Answer 5

Natural - unnatural What you describe is parents trying to encourage their children to conform to the social norm so that they will find a place in that society with as little difficulty as possible. However I disagree that girls and girls and boys and boys are discouraged from holding hands and giving hugs and comfort. At least that didn't happen in my childhood. And I am a baby boomer, straight and Christian. My dear girl-friends and I have always expressed our caring for one another in a physical way that was not sexual and still do.

Answer 6

you might be right. for the last 20 years or so, there has been a force to limit the numbers of our children, fanatics on both sides were very volatile, people were killed and beaten as they strove to abide by what had become accepted life.
What makes all of this is ludicrous when considered in the light of gay and straight. being gay is the ultimate birthcontrol, and before anyone lynches me, they have been there for any number of other people's unwanted children.
almost everything in our lives is fired by fad, by the tailored news, by government sponsered programs, by advertising, so what makes you think that forces like that are not in action around this area. [peace] [love] [happiness]. that is what life 'should' be about, not the sex

Answer 7

When I use a gay dating website or phone line and hear 1/2 or more of the guys on it claiming to be straight I wonder about the percentages we bandy about. Is it really possible that we're only 10-15%?

I think the socialization you discussed and the lack of role models for gay relationships tend to make people try to fit the norm whether that is their heart's desire or not.

Personally I had a child...AND joined the Marine Corp. Even though I knew at a very early age I was gay and a Christian pacifist.

We all want to be accepted and make life choices consciously or not that will tend to make us more acceptable.

Answer 8

I think most straights don't see just how much conditioning went into what they became. I saw this e-mail forward about how homophobia affects everybody, including the straight female teacher who wanted to teach gym, but was told only dykes do that, so she sticks with home ec. Simple minds crave a simplified world. The rest of us suffer.

Answer 9

why cant everybody just mount anybody as long as there of legal age and nobody have a problem with. we are a f'd society. forcing ideals upon the children that we raise. teaching hate of different ethnic and religious groups. keeping tradition of hate over wars that freed the slaves. damn, the list is endless. people just need to accept the fact that just because im catholic and the other guy is Jewish. doesn't mean each is wrong. if it doesn't change the price of beer for me than its none of my business.
oh! wait......your that guy with cooties. ewwwww and your gay! i cant believe i got sucked into your web again.

Answer 10

We as gay men ARE not normal in terms of sheer numbers. Being gay is unusual in the sense that we are a minority. Percentage wise in terms of population, we are abnormal. We just are.

Heteros breed. They have kids. Gay men can't get pregnant. Look at your average fairytale, like Cinderella. Girls are groomed for marriage - boys are groomed to save the girl. GAY MEN HAVE NOBODY TO SAVE!

We were not brainwashed as kids, just invisible.