I love my woman... cant get married in my state and we ofcourse are intimate when we get the chance.... i was talking to my mom {who is now starting to "deal" with my orientation} and she said that sex outside of marrige is wrong with a man AND she supposes even if you are gay that stands to be true.... so wats a gurl to do when she cant marry the one she loves with all her heart?.... no affection or physical intimacy? that expression to me is apart of love.. not the whole thing but an exstention... tell me your honest thoughts gurls....
2006-11-16 16:36:25 · 13 answers · asked by nitenite91 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It sounds to me like a bit of reverse psychology....... just do what you feel is right in your heart. I would marry my partner to if it were legal,but I can't, and yet I still make love to my partner on a daily basis...... don't let your mom behind your closed doors. Those are decisions that you and your partner are going to have to make.
2006-11-17 03:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by ~T.O.M.B.O.Y.~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that your mother wants an actual marriage license before people have sex- and that's what marriage is. Just a piece of paper that is legally recognized by the government. Everything else is just religious ceremonies and beautiful celebrations.
I assume what she really means is what marriage represents- a longterm commitment. That's why marriage is considered different than 'shacking up', even though in many cases people cohabitate all their lives identical to married couples but do not have government approval (and I'm talking about straight people).
She sees sex as sacred and something one doesn't do without having a deep love with someone and an intention to stay together for the rest of their lives, and I like that (I actually agree).
In my opinion, if you have a commitment ceremony that is identical to a wedding, except not "official", your mother should be happy, and okay with you having physical intimacy with your woman. Hopefully she'll understand this argument and you can get her blessing.
2006-11-17 01:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have to make our own decisions, right now, about what "marriage" means to us - is it the official recognition from the state? Does a spiritual authority have to be involved? Does anybody but the couple (or triad/quad/whatever) making the decision have to be involved? If so, why or why not? If "they" aren't going to give us that recognition, are we going to wait, or are we going to take it for ourselves and go on celebrating our outlaw relationships as so many GLBT couples have over the last few decades?
So after you and your woman decide what level of commitment you need to be together, then you'll know whether or not your intimacy is a problem for you. If it is, you won't feel good about engaging in it any more. If your level of intimacy is just fine and dandy, or you deided to get even closer, celebrate! Honeymoon!
Here's wishing you the best, whatever you decide :-)
2006-11-17 00:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by TechnoMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your state and even this whole country may never let you two married. For my part I don't understand how people in this country can make a decision on who marries who.
If your state won't married you then preform your own marriage and live together as a couple. Tell you mother that your woman is your soul mate and having a simple gathering and exchanging promises makes you a couple.
2006-11-17 00:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by 100yroldtree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you agree with the no sex before marrige rule, there are places to get married. I live in Newfoundland, Canada and it is legal for homosexuals to marry. I'm sure there are other places, but thats all I really know of.
2006-11-17 14:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sex untill marriage was created to (theorhetically) insure women would have someone to take care of them and their brood. orange peels and sheep intestines weren't that effective as contraceptives. anyone still screaming that and wearing polyblend fabrics or eating shellfish or interested in football (or pig in any form) or cuts the hair at the temples (men only), or wears pants (women only) is sadly a hypocrite.
sweetie, you should read this bible of your mothers to arm yourself for the next battle. and someone referred me to this site :dignity.org that should give you some insight as to what your reading.
2006-11-17 02:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's your life, not your mom's. She can accept it or not. Explain the legal realities to her, but gloss over your sex life when it comes up.
2006-11-17 01:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong by who's opinion? Yours or your moms? If you're old enough to get married you are old enough to make your own sexual decisions.
2006-11-17 00:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a good question....*claps*...
Well from my point of view, there is such thing as civil union... thats the closest thing to marriage we can get....so technically thats marriage? I dunno..that's up to debate..i personally think it isn't.....
but anyways...its your personal belief...and if you feel that you're ready...and obvious you are.... so... you do what you want....
2006-11-17 01:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by Chef Shortie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey you are already living in some according to the moral majority so just keep doing what you are doing. Get it when you can get it!!
2006-11-17 00:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by Gettin_by 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋