I've known a girl for about six months now. We get along well enough, talking and laughing whenever we see each other. Last night, we were talking like we always do and I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall on saturday and have some fun. She said she had a boyfriend she'd been going out with for over a year. I thought it was wierd that I'd known her for that long and hadn't even heard him mentioned in passing. Then, she said he was "very protective," but she'd ask if it was OK with him. That's when the warning bells started going off in my head. First off, I was worried that by "protective" she meant "controlling," and wondered why she needed someone's permission to do what she wanted with whom she wanted.
The main question I have is, should I be worried, or is she just not interested in me and I'm bad at taking a hint? To be honest, I'm hoping it's the latter. She's a sweet girl and deserves better than that.
2006-11-16 16:19:38 · 11 answers · asked by James D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's hard to say but from what you said I heard signals going off too. Keep being her friend and slowly find out what you can. If its a bad situation maybe you can be a helpful influence on her to get out of a bad situation. I really dont think she was hinting at you to get lost.
2006-11-16 16:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it does sound funny that you have known this girl for so long and you never heard of this so called "boyfriend." I wouldn't jump to conclusion. I have been with a man for a little over a year, I don't exactly "ASK" if I can go places, I more or less let him know where I'm going, and maybe that's what she meant. My boyfriend isn't controlling, but he is protective also. He says he's not a jealous man, but I have noticed some attitude when I speak of past relationships or male friends so maybe that's where shes coming from. If you two are that "close" than ask her for an explanation, ask her for a good time when you two could have lunch and discuss the details. Make sure, that you re-assure her that she can trust you to the fullest when she is ready and comfortable she will reveal all. When a women is in an abusive relationship they have to tell someone. So try to find out everything and sooner or later she will come around. Just stay by her side and no matter what, try not to judge. Good Luck.
2006-11-16 16:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Missy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a friend and don't pressure her. if her bf is protective there could be a reason for it. and maybe ask her if he has hit her or anything if your close friends she will either tell you or you should be able to tell if shes lying. just wait it out but remain friends because if he is abusive then she may need you soon.
2006-11-16 16:35:49 · answer #3 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are right, I would talk to her and tell her that it's ok and that she can tell you anything... if you are right I don;t care if she tells you not to tell anyone tell the police... if before you ask her you notice any (marks) on her then definitly ask her ta that moment about it.. if she gives you a weird responce then definitly try and get her to spill het guts... not literally. Ok I hope I helped you... bye bye
2006-11-16 16:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by meme_bubbasparxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she's a cautious person. had she a protective guy around you would have known. she's just not ready to go out with you yet. sounds like she may have been in a bad relationship previously.
2006-11-16 16:26:13 · answer #5 · answered by shaglemongirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure about your age but looks like she is testing you and trying to make you jealous. She is trying to Gage your reaction and thereby evaluate the seriousness of your relationship.
2006-11-16 16:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by ajita r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your trying to come between her and her guy thats not ever a good thing but, you should out and out ask her about your fears of abuse if you are a true friend ok.
2006-11-16 16:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by hobo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is lying. She just wanted to see your reaction.
2006-11-16 16:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by Evil Atheist Conspirator 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that some people want to be abused?
Would you care to let her experience what it is she wants?
2006-11-16 16:27:13 · answer #9 · answered by jonas_tripps_79 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you keep being her friend and being there,I am sure you will find out.Time will tell.
2006-11-16 16:25:57 · answer #10 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋