I'm on my third marrige my wife told me that she cheated on me, how do i get through this?

Question

It seems like every time i begin to be happy it all falls apart she told me that i did nothing wrong but she never flat out told me why she did it and she also says that she cant be mad at him and i should not be mad at him either but be mad at her i'm mad at both of them for one he was my good friend i would always help him with anything he need i thought that ,thats what friends do i just dont know why i just need to know how to get on with my life and save my marrage thanks.

Answer 1

Well it seems to me if this is your third time around, you have a problem picking a good partner...If you wife cheated and the others before did the same thing i personally would rather be alone. You getting over this and forgetting it is slim to none....

Answer 2

Man I am so sorry that you are having this kind of bad luck with your women. You sound like me with my luck with the men.

My last one could not tell me why he did it either. Really there is NO excuse what so ever for cheating. But I think it is just a lack of communication between the couple. It is like why could she not open that mouth of hers up to you when she felt that she needed some thing that was not there?

And as for getting mad at him, well I think that you have every right to be mad at him as he "was" your friend. Notice that I said he "was" your friend. I think that he should not be your friend any more after this as HE knew that she was your wife when he was cheating with her.

As for getting mad at her, you have every right in the world to be very mad at her for betraying you like this. This is a hurt that is not just going to go away for some time, IF ever. But if you plan on staying with her after this, well then I would say that she is going to have to earn her trust back with you.

To earn that trust back, she will let you know what she is doing and where she is going. I mean I would have a tight noose around that neck of hers for awhile until I thought that I didn't have anything to worry about at all. She would have no privacy for a long time. If she can't do this, oh well, she has to understand that she is the one that messed up and not YOU. Like the old saying goes....you play, you pay......she played and now she has to pay......take it or leave it.

Sorry again for what happened to you, I know how bad it hurts!!!

Answer 3

friends don't belong in ones marriage bed, get rid of the friend,confront wife,tell her the truth about how this makes u feel, why she did it, she isn't going to tell u the truth, because it might involve hurting u more, and she just insn't ready to trash your heart. honestly if she has not shown any remorse, and she makes no mention that she did u a wrong, or makes no mention that it will not happen again, i would not want her back at all. a wrong has been done to u, and she owes u an apology for betraying u. to save the marriage counciling is needed, but she also must admit she was wrong, and be willing not to keep seeing this weasel. she did have a choice in the matter, but chose to cross that very fine line of right and wrong. if she isn't sorry or if she refuses to stop being with him, than u can't save the marriage, u can't live with someone u can't trust. she really needs to show u more respect after all u are her husband, sounds as if she is more concerned about him than you.

Answer 4

Well my friend, I too am in this situation. It is always one of your good friends isn't it? Seems like it. Now you wonder..What does he have that I don't? Why does this keep happening to me? Well, as I have learned you are shopping for women in the same, but wrong store. She is going to protect him because she thinks she likes him, or loves him. The fact is she doesn't. It is the personality thing. She has some acceptance issues. She has lied to you from the begining. If I were you.. take some "you " time, and go out and relax. Stop worring about her. She surely isn't worring about you. Don't jump into another relationship. When the day comes when she knocks on your door for forgivness...you will know what to do. Good luck man.

Answer 5

You've been betrayed by the two people you should have been able to trust the most. Sorry to say but you need to get those two out of your life. I can tell by how you included "third marriage" in your question/comment that this is weighing heavily on you - but you cannot beat yourself up for the fact your wife cheated. You did not fail this marriage, she did. Don't put unnecessary guilt on yourself because it didn't work. Go to counseling, stay busy, and move on. You deserve better!

Answer 6

When you keep doing the same things and get the same results the universe is telling you something.

To find out what it is do your self an immense favor and get some counseling for yourself.

You deserve to be happy and maybe you can't be with your current wife.

Answer 7

ok man this may seem nuts to you but it works ok. go out and cheat on her now with a stranger not one of her friends either and come home and tell her about it and ask her not to be mad at that person. turn the table on her putt her in the same place you are at with this whole mess. give her something to think about ok.

Answer 8

friends should be there for each other, but a true friend is like getting a million dollars-hard. you can try to save your marriage if you want to, but it will never be the same. how long will it be before she sleeps with another friend? how many time will you think of this, and what about when you're at work. what will you be thinking about--who is she with. go ahead torment yourself. she will never be just yours.

Answer 9

first of all what you need to tell both of them that the way they behaved make it clear how they really felt about you as a person. that if they could sink that low, and hurt you that bad, and not feel guilty or remorse then it tell you they were just there to use you, and take advantage of you. wish them the best and tell your Friend to take your wife with him. with friends like that you don't need enemies. best walk alone then to be treated like this, no man deserves and no person can justify it.

Answer 10

if this is what you call a friend you dont need enimies. in my opion as for her she knew what she was doing you need to think on this matter very hard. once this happens you know as well aas me every time you look at her it will get you mad to even look at her in time and as well you know she cant be trusted this will happen again she sounds to me like she is trying to lay the guilt on you and not her self after all it wasnt you who commited adultry. it was her. things wont get better onley worse . my opion?