What can I do to get my wife back?

Question

I almost cheated on my wife in December. She found out about it and at first I denied it and then I told the truth. She stayed with me until May. Then she moved home to go to school. We were still supposed to be toghther. In July she told me that she wanted a divorce. I am very in love with her and really regret what I did. I truly believe that she still loves me, but she is scared to be with me. How can I show her that she can trust me when she won't spend any time around me?

Answer 1

OK. "I almost cheated on my wife" sound an awful lot like man talk for I cheated on my wife and got caught but she can not prove I actually did the dead with my fling. Not a bad move, worth a try we just sat in the hotel room and talked, held hands, whatever. To her credit she sound like she is not falling into the I will never ever never do it again crap. Sorry

Answer 2

I recommend that you spend some time showing your wife through actions rather than words. What are things you can do to show her that you made a terrible mistake and must have her back? Why not see a therapist...on your own...lwhy not ask her if you can court her again. Ask her for a chance to win her back and ask her to give you a year. Start over with your wife as though you have just met. Bring her flowers, ask her, after you have been in therapy for a few months, to come with you. Ask her if she will go to a Marriage Builders conference with you (marriagebuilders.com). If you are serious about the sorrow in your heart then pursue her like you did before you were married. Send her cards, remember her birthday, buy her things, take her shopping for the things she needs and wants. Do all of this while she is still living apart from you. Pour out your heart with all your strengh and then let her decide if she is willing to come back to you. The trust you have broken in your relationship with your wife will take many years to rebuild. The question is, are you man enough to try?

Answer 3

i have just dealt with this type of issue. My wife told me not to fly from Asia back to the USA because it was all over for the same reasons as you. One thing i can reccomend is that you need to rekindle the trust and feelings. People do alot of things when they dont have to look at them. Go suprise her, take her away from where she is at for a little while like a couple days and show her, women like talk but actions work better. Take control never give that up. If it stil doesnt work then keep keep the control and you leave from there. She may not like that you made the decision of what will happen

Answer 4

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/CjR6l

Answer 5

You obviously need to win her trust back again...BUT checking in every two minutes is not always a good idea either. What happens is she gets used to it, then after a while if you start slacking on the check ups or she misses a call she becomes paranoid.
Trust me Ive been through this and the whole making sure she knows where you are 24/ 7 is not the best idea, you'll be doing it for the rest of your life.
I wish I could tell you how to earn her trust but I'm working on that right now. My bf "almost" cheated on me as well and for a while the checking in thing worked but he got tired of it and thought he shouldn't prove himself anymore. Now he doenst do it as often and I am back to feeling miserable and paranoid , and we ant find a happy medium.

Answer 6

To be honest, what your wife did is decide on something best for herself. She decided to better herself academically, and in doing so, she is making a decision to let you go.

I think you need to reevaluate your marriage from your end. You cheated on her for your own reasons, and when you had a chance to be honest, you lied to her before you finally told the truth. I am sure she is still in pain.

What she needs from you is understanding, time, and above all, brutal honesty and support. She is doing something for herself now, and what you need to do is respect that and let her do what she needs to do. Is she going back to school because she wants to advance her career or start a career? If so, maybe she does not want to be in a "rut" should your marriage not work out.

Just my two cents from a wife who has been on the same side as your wife.

Answer 7

Sounds as if she has done some soul searching and decided to move on.There are more issues here than almost cheating that led up to that incident and perhaps there is too much water under the bridge to want to undertake that.Good Luck

Answer 8

Trust when broken is hard to earn back. Will she talk with you about keeping the marriage?
As long as she will talk, you might have a chance...July was a while back, has she filed for divorce yet? Go to her if you want a chance...face to face, good luck

Answer 9

That's a beautiful question..I read that again, and again, and again. Try to make her believe that she's near u all the time. Call her, take her out, do the stuff u did during courting times. Give her all the MAXIMUM ASSURANCE. Ask her for a second chance. I would love it if my husband did those stuff to me. And u, PLEASE WALK THE TALK and dont repeat ur fatal mistakes. U may loose her for good.

Answer 10

You can try 'til the cows come home to rebuild her trust. Why on earth did you think cheating on her even in thought, would let her continue to respect you? You are the master of your own fate. Accept it and move on!