My fiance frustrates me more and more everyday?

Question

Tonight I worked on a really nice casserole for about an hour. I had gone to the store earlier to get all the stuff and worked really hard on it because I wanted to make him a nice dinner...well I had one serving and it was great...went back for seconds (which half of the pan was left) I went in to the kitchen and he had given the rest of the pan to the dog! AGGGHHHHH

After an hour of working on it and I barely got enough to get full. Plus I always keep leftovers for lunch the next day.

I am so mad. He always does sh*t like this that is inconsiderate and I have about had it with him

I just want to hit him in the head sometimes until he gets it. What should I do?

Answer 1

Honey, I don't think there is a woman out there who has lived with a man, and not experienced something like what you went through tonight. It's all but scientific fact (though they may be able to prove it scientifically) that men do not put as much thought into their actions as women. You will never find a man who does everything right; none of us will. He will make mistakes, he will be completely oblivious to things that seem painfully obvious, and he will do it multiple times. However, it is his attitude toward his own behaviour, that matters. Does he know how you feel? Have you actually conversed about all those habits and actions that bother you? And I'm not just talking about yelling something like "What the hell?!?!"..have you calmly brought these topics up with him, and if so, has he acknowledged your frustration, and his role in causing it? See, much like the dog who enjoyed your casserole, he needs to be trained. Boys do silly things, but they can be taught; if they're receptive to the idea. For instance, my fiance (with whom I live) had so many habits that absolutely tore my sanity apart, and some still remain. But he *is* getting better. He has learned to put away his clothes, instead of letting them pile up on the floor; he knows to rinse off his dishes after eating. He even offers me the last of whatever we're having for dinner on any given evening.

What I'm saying is, there is a reason you are engaged to this man. In fact, I'm willing to bet there are various reasons. But this is why we live with men *before* we marry them. As you no doubt know, there are many things you can only learn about a person through sharing a home. But I'm not going to tell you to up and leave him just yet. Men..well, they don't realize things they should. They often don't know that they have done something which is so obviously wrong, something so thoughtless and seemingly inconsiderate. Make sure he knows. Talk to him, talk to him, talk to him. Open up the lines of communication, and make it very clear how you feel, and precisely what he did to make you feel that way (on this, and other occasions). If he loves you, he will listen, acknowledge your plight, and make that honest effort to change. It can be an arduous process, but if there is enough care between the two of you, it can work.

Good luck, hon.

Answer 2

You're trying to comfort him the way you'd want to be comforted...or maybe the way you'd like him to comfort you about the situation. That isn't necessarily what he wants. Maybe he just needs to vent without input. Maybe he does need the reassurance that everything will be fine even if it doesn't look that way right now (and obviously on some level, you do think everything will be fine, or you'd be running for the hills by now). Talk to him about it when he's calm, and ask him what he wants you to do when the bad news gets to be too much. If that turns out not to be something you're comfortable with, then keep talking to him about your feelings and look for a way to compromise. And if he's still too wrapped up in self-pity to care or fix things, then rethink the engagement.

Answer 3

Quite honestly, and maybe deep in your heart you know this and feel this right now, when love arrives, there is no selfishness or inconsideration. There will have to be much spiritual growth in your fiance, before he becomes marriage material, so take it slow. For life issues, always listen to your heart for direction, and not conscious human thought. Marriage is for two hearts that must be together, not two people who think they would be good together.

Answer 4

All males are like that . .at first it is not but they take you for granted after awhile until you are not there to cook them the casserole or a nice meal and they are stuck eating tv dinners

Answer 5

kerra: Grab the drift ... you and your fiancee are NOT cut out to be married. You feel contempt for him now ... how much more if you marry him ? !!! Do both of you a favour. Don't get married and move out from him. Believe me; there is a guy out there for you and you have not run into him yet. Research into couples living together prior to getting married, shows that 90% of those couples who marry, end in divorce. So why would you want to be one of them ? Your fiancee is married to his dog already and you are numero (number) 2 in the relationship - it's over - get out !

Answer 6

Sounds like you might want to make your "engagement" last as long as possible. Don't get married when you have these kinds of unresolved issues, things will only get worse and you'll feel trapped.

Answer 7

Tell him you don't appreciate his inconsiderate behavior and to think twice before he does something which you might be bothered by. He sounds kind of thoughtless. Let your voice be heard.

Answer 8

It is good you are finding this out now. He seems like an inconsiderate prick. Stop now before you get married to him.

Answer 9

SWEETIE, IF HE DID NOT EVEN TAKE ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE FACT OF WHAT YOU PUT INTO MAKING THAT DINNER FOR HIM HE IS SELFISH AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT GIVING IT TO THE DOG? HOW INCONSIDERATE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU FEELINGS THOUGHTS AND TIME. HE SAID TO YOU THAT YOU TIME IS UNWORTHY AND WORTHLESS NOW IF YOU BELIEVE THAT STAY WITH HIM IF NOT LEAVE HIS SORRY *** STANDING THERE WITH HIS CASSEROLE DISH IN HIS HAND.

Answer 10

I think you should tell him how you feel and if you already have told him and he still doesnt try to fix it then you need to think about whether or not you really want to marry someone that doesnt respect you!