But I don't know why. We broke up right after I got pregnant. He moved away to another state and he hardly ever contacts me. If he does it is every few months on messenger to say what he is going to do for the baby in the future, like college! When I had the baby I didnt even have a way to contact him! A month later he contacted me on yahoo. This whole scenario has torn me apart, but now I just want to move on with my life. I want to be a good mother and I want to have a civil relationship with him for our 5 month old daughter's sake. He wont give me any contacts for him. I dont know why he acts like he doesnt want to talk to me. He seems as if he hates me. We were in a relationship for over a year and everything was good until i became pregnant. After that he treated me like dirt and abandoned me. Im willing to forgive him and move on . Ive given up on us being 2gether. Should I try to contact him to try and make ammends? I know I cant force him to be a father, but what else can I do?
2006-11-16 12:46:26 · 12 answers · asked by confused346 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I dont want to be with him because of the way he has treated me. It took me awhile but I have done it. I had to out him to his family because they didnt know I was pregnant. We are both college students and he is out of state at university. He isnt married. I just want to be civil because we have a daughter, to help facilitate a relationship for her sake. I wanted to work out an arrangement so we didnt have to go to court, but he just wont meet me halfway! I think he resents me because I had the baby. It doesnt matter if he does or doesnt like me, but this should be about the baby! I met with his parents and they were nice and gave us money. I sent them pics of her last week along with my new cell and have heard nothing..they are just weirdoes i guess!
2006-11-16 13:00:11 · update #1
I think some are missing the point. I dont want him. I dont want a relationship with him. Im not worried about "us" anymore. We just have this strained relationship and I am just trying to do my part for my girl's sake. If he is afraid to reach out, I was just letting him know that it is OKAY to talk to me. I think honestly I should just walk away from him. I have tried so hard with him and it's not working..I'll just block him on messenger and change my number. I guess she will be okay.
2006-11-16 13:17:12 · update #2
I understand your problem. The way i see it is he shouldnt have started a family with somebody he wouldnt give his all to. I dont know why you should contact him when hes in the wrong.
2006-11-16 12:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by TIC_G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you owe him nothing. You are the mother of his child and for him to do that to you is just wrong. Just make sure you are getting child support. I had a friend in this same situation, luckily she found a guy who treated her the way a woman should be treated and now they are getting married and he's taking steps to adopt her baby.
You are way too calm about it. Get mad girl. How dare he treat you this way. You deserve better. What? He thinks his offspring is too good for you? She grew didn't she?
Take his @ss to court for child support. He totally abandoned you at the time you needed him the most. So what if he doesnt love you anymore or he doesnt want children? The fact is she's here and she needs a father, where the hell is he? All the way across the country with no way to reach him.
Girl you are joking.
A real man would stand by his child no matter what. Especially his daughter.
Girl, gte mad and give him a part of what he's got coming to him.
Worthless bum.
And Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Boys are great but girls are something special.
2006-11-16 12:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you guys need a parenting agreement in order to get straight what contact will and won't be, and what each of you will and won't do. Also a child support arrangement. Then you'll know the parameters of your relationship and there won't be surprises, and everyone can get on with the living they need to do.
This kind of pain is why birth control--or self control--is such a good idea when you don't know someone well enough and are not committed to them. Multiple methods, if you are young and presumably fertile needed.
I wish you and your baby the best of luck.
2006-11-16 12:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. Do NOT waste your time trying to reach out to the father of your baby. He is aware of where you are and he knows how to reach you. The only way to protect yourself and the baby is through state mandated child support. His family has the same info that he has. Worry about yourself and the baby. Maybe later you will meet someone who will WANT to be involved. Good luck!
2006-11-16 13:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by mikey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard to realize that a person you loved and had a child with doesn't want you or your child. You need to call yourself a single mother and truly live it. You can give your daughter all she needs as long as you aren't still hoping that he will be the man that you want him to be. The fact that he left you as soon as you were pregnant speaks volumes about his character. Live a good life with your daughter, someday tell her about her father in the best way you can, and find someone worthy of BOTH of you. Good luck
2006-11-16 12:59:02 · answer #5 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Child Support NOW. Go to your local court house and find out how to file. Get him to SUPPORT your daughter financially and see where it goes from there. Whatever relationship YOU have with him doesn't matter anymore beyond your daughters wellbeing. There are better guys in the world to have a relationship with, your relationship with him should be limited to him being your daughters father in my opinion. But please- GET CHILD SUPPORT FOR YOUR BABY NOW! While you have some idea of where he is. She needs this security, and she needs a father. You need to start getting past him and into your new life with someone better than him!!!
2006-11-16 12:52:07 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of pondering the father (sperm donor) does not have something to do with the toddler and does not do his section in elevating her and seeing to her needs it would be great in case you get married and your new hubby needs to undertake her. i'm no longer so specific that what he did to you have something to do with the adoption nonetheless, relies upon on the state. additionally finding on the state you will desire to no longer choose his consent. In some states see you later as he's no longer paying help and has no bond along with her he has no criminal ties. while the time comes i'd discover a stable lawyer. stable success.
2016-10-15 15:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on with your life sweat heart he is not worth your time .
You will fine a good guy someday that will love you for yourself , not for what he can get from you . This guy is bad news , he is a jerk . Anyone can make a baby but it takes a REAL MAN to be a Father !
2006-11-16 13:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact him? what ever for ,do you think he will let you force him into something he dosen't want to do & why would you want to do that in any case ?don't waste any more time raking up a lost cause, look ahead & move on , come on you can do it.
2006-11-16 13:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by dee k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is already married.
2006-11-16 12:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by T Time 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋