My girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. We've talked a few times since but she's very troubled--has a crazy past. She called me most recently to apologize for how she treated me and that she's moving away. She called and wrote me a note saying how sorry she was, that she needed to get her head together, and told me how amazing she thinks I am. I don't want her to go anywhere--truth is I still love her. I just do. Her birthday is coming up and I'm wondering if I should call and ask her out now that we've both had time to decompress or if I should just let it go. But that's the problem. I CAN'T seem to let her go. I forgive her for being mean to me and I'm not being a pushover. By mean I mean she was distant and emotionally unavailable alot because of her own stressors. What should I do??? I don't want her to move! Should I call her??
2006-11-16 12:41:18 · 12 answers · asked by LBF 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its not going to hurt to say Happy Birthday. (but thats it).
If you start going on about other stuff. It will just fall back into the trap that you were in before.
She needs to sort out her problems, and you need to let her do this, even if you want her back or still love her, use that love to let her go and get the help and strenght she needs.
Meantime you need to get stronger in yourself, and not let others hurt you like she did.
Blessings ALD
2006-11-16 12:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by A Lady Dragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/BK6eP
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-18 16:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her (care about her well being-putting her happiness before your own-love her) than you need to give her the time & space to heal. It doesn't matter how much you want to be with her if her head & heart are not in the right place, she'll never really "be with you"-you'll only be with a shadow of who she really is. It's possible that she loves you a lot too, but she's smart enough to realize that until she gets herself together she won't be any good to herself or to you. If you loved her so much while she was "distant and emotionally unavailable" imagine how much greater your relationship can be when she is able to freely love you without any barriers?
Call her, let her know you care, but only if you can also let her go. Right now she doesn't need to carry the burden of knowing that you're pining away for her. She needs to know that you can move on, and if you two are meant to be together, time & distance can't change that. Right now, she needs a friend not a lover. If you can't be that friend, than you'll never be able to truly love her as she needs and deserves.
Ask yourself this question: "Do I love her enough to put aside my own desires and feelings so she can find healing, peace and joy, even if that means I never see her again?" I know it sucks, but putting her needs before your own is really the purest form of love there is.
You're in my prayers - I've been there & know how much it hurts. Email me if you ever need to vent or a shoulder to cry on. Take care & God Bless ~LU
2006-11-16 13:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by lilita_usa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to call her for your own peace of mind. Tell her how you feel. What is the worst that can happen?? It can't be as bad as what you are feeling now. Each time we love we put ourselves in a position to be hurt, but because we are human we keep on loving and sometimes getting hurt. I believe in doing what feels right in your heart even if it isn't the sensible, logical thing to do. Where love is concerned, logic goes out the window (as it should!) Good luck.
2006-11-16 12:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/6Rtoy
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-26 05:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard choice. Well, I went through a similar situation. In love with my ex boyfriend and stuff.
Anyways, just remember it might get emotional for you if you call her. It may end up in tears and stuff.
But if you do not, you might regret it.
If I were you, I think I would call her..
Good luck, hon.
2006-11-16 12:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call her, but know that she needs a close friend she can lean on and it seem like she's found that in you.She needs to let go of her issues before anything else.let her heal first,you may just end up pushing her further away from you.
2006-11-16 12:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by paulina83 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depends upon so many issues..age included..if you are both adults..go for it..you do run the risk of being shot down..life is a crapshoot..you run the risk of being hurt everyday..but you'll never know unless you try..it really all depends upon your delivery and how desparate you come across..play it cool...and good luck...
2006-11-16 12:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by OliveRuth 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should call her if you think she is still in love with you and not just saying stupid excuses not to pay attention to u ok?
try not to do things that will make you feel worst
good luck
2006-11-16 12:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by miliscal123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they have made wonderful inroads in the field
of transplant surgery. unfortunately they have
not perfected the practice of spinal transplants,
poor you.
2006-11-16 13:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by bullet head 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋