I met someone on line a while ago and our relationship has "evolved" into something that i never expected..i am married but i find even though i've never met my on line "friend" that i have feelings for him..we have cyber sex alot..we will never meet that much i know..he lives on the other side of the country..i am married to a wonderful man but obviously something is missing..is this considered an affair??
2006-11-16 12:35:41 · 37 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes it is..As long as you are sharing intimate times with someone other then your husband you are cheating on him...Have you tried talking to your husband about the things that are missing in your marriage? If not, try to...Think of it this way,what will happen if this guy decides to trek across country to meet you?This is a position you do not want to be in...Although there has been no physical contact,the door is open for it...I have seen to many marriages break up over this and its not fun...The energy you are wasting on this cyber guy,you should be directing to your husband...Yes,we all fall into a slump in our relationships, thats normal...But, that doesn't mean we go and look for what is missing some where else...Communication is a primary factor in any relationship,keep talking and things will stay interesting....I really hope you do not become a statistic with this, give it a break and try and focus on your husband...Maybe he feels the same way and does not know how to approach you about it....Sex is important, but not the main reason....Send the kids to gramma's one night and make love on the kitchen table that in itself may rekindle the fires that once burned so hot for you and your husband...Good luck..
2006-11-16 12:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Frank D 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not only YES, it is considered an affair, have you thought of the possibility that your husband might walk in on you and your cyber lover in the middle of your tryst? What about if your computer crashes, it goes to a repair shop and the technician pulls the chat sessions off and your husband reads them?
You could also be charged with possible pornography charges or lewd language depending on your state laws. Some states are enacting laws against foul language on the internet. What happens if your child or children should happen to access your files and read them or have your husband read them? Are you read to explain to your children if you have any why your husband might be filing for divorce and also suing your lover for breaking up your marriage. There is a law concerning that, I just don't remember the name of the charge at the time. It has something to do with interfering in the marriage causing the marriage to end in divorce. A few cases have resulted in high damages for the defendent.
Stop and think what you want and go for it with your spouse. I started down that road and stopped to think. My wife and I argue but we still try. We still don't always get along, but we are still togther almost 25 years now. IT CAN WORK OUT, but YOU HAVE TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND that you need more than what he is providing now, whether it be in bed, in communications, or whatever. Talk to him, don't talk to the other man, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Good Luck and I Hope and Pray you make the right decision before it is to late.
2006-11-16 13:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by handyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating on your husband. Would you let your husband watch what you are saying to this other man and what he writes to you? From what you are saying, I would say no you wouldn't let he read what all is being said, so yes you are cheating. I know that you will never met this other guy but any way you want to look at it, you are still cheating.
How would you feel if your husband was talking to another woman on the computer and doing the same thing that you and your friend are doing? Would your feelings be hurt, would you feel betrayed and left out?
If you would take that extra energy that you are spending on this other man and apply that same energy to your husband, things might get better between you and your husband. So stop cheating on him now. If you want to keep on doing this, then talk to him in front of your husband where he can see what all the two of you are talking about.
2006-11-16 13:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is an affair. Some would classify it as an "emotional" affair. It's a betrayal. Wouldn't you feel that it was an affair if your husband were doing it? You are caught up in something that is potentially very damaging to your marriage. If you want to save your marriage, you need to end the affair, and seek counseling. Go by yourself first and see what triggered this situation. And then go with your husband and see what you can do to improve your relationship so that this doesn't happen again.
2006-11-16 12:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by coffeytalk.com 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, what you are doing is wrong simply for the fact that you have to keep it from your husband. If you can't tell him about it, it's most likely something that HE would consider an affair. Now...you need to decide what is more important, your online tryst or your marriage.
In my opinion, the reason that you feel like something is "obviously missing" from your marriage, is not something that this other guy is giving you, it is just the feeling of being wanted and sexy. You and your hubby need to work on putting the spice back into your marriage.
2006-11-16 14:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. You are emotionally involved with another man. You are having an affair. Your wonderful man is married to a not so wonderful wife. Obviously what is missing is your self-control. There are lots of women out there who would love to have a wonderful man in there life. If you get found out and you will eventually, I hope you let us all know when your husband becomes available.
2006-11-16 13:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by lindsay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair is where two people are involved in an illicit sexual, romantic and/or passionate attachment, usually for a limited duration. The something that's missing in your marriage is common sense & decency on your part. What is wrong with you that you can't figure out that cybersex in not okay in a marriage. Hope you're husbands getting it elsewhere too.
2006-11-16 12:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Some people will argue with the fact that there has actually been no physical touching involved HOWEVER there has been emotional feelings & intimacy involved.
If you're sharing something intimate while with someone else, it's considering cheating, regardless of how you do it.
It shows that one is not satisfied with something in the marriage when they turn to another person to satisfy their sexual needs.
I think you should end this cyber-relationship and start talking to your spouse about things that may be bothering you.
If your sex life seems to be boring you, do extra things to add excitement like whips & chains, roleplaying, and more.
2006-11-16 12:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it is. Affairs are conceived in the mind & can be carried out in the mind. You don't have to physically act to be cheating on your spouse. Wouldn't you be hurt if your spouse was doing the same thing & told you about it? Wouldn't you feel betrayed & deceived & hurt? Think about it. What you are doing is very destructive to your marriage. Something is missing from your marriage because you are distracted with other things & not giving 100% right now. Maybe there are things you can change & experience fulfillment in your marriage.
2006-11-16 14:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by ELIZABETH B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's definately an affair. The two of you have been sharing emotions, and obviously, something else. It doesn't matter if you never plan on meeting.
You wouldn't want your husband chatting with another woman and having cybersex with her, huh?
Anyway...your husband likes the way I cyber him.
2006-11-16 12:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by lkjgfyfukh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋