Advice on engagement?

Question

Hi!
I'm just looking for some objective advice on this. My bf and I have been together for 3.5 years and we both know that we want to get married. We have about 2 more years of college left and are definitely planning on getting married right after graduation. (We've secretly set a date, too.) The thing is, we've been talking a lot about getting engaged and making the fact that we're going to get married and be together "official." I know people will say, why rush, you have 2 more years of school, you're so young, blah blah blah, but we really just want to do it for us. In fact, we've got a bit of a game going- to see who will ask who first and who can think of the most creative way.

So what do you think? Is being 20 & 21 too hurried? Is 2 years too long of an engagement? We're considering doing it around X-mas. The fact that it's official isn't going to change the way we feel for one another, but we want to just... shout it to the world... you know, that cheesy stuff.

Thanks!

Thanks so much for all of the support!!!

I would just like to add that he is most definitely, without a doubt THE ONE! I can tell those who said break up, date around, you're too young to know what you want, do you want to spend the rest of your life with him or do you just want the rock, etc., haven't found the One yet and don't know what it's like to have such a strong relationship and the love and friendship that comes with it. Besides, the fact that I'm probably going to propose and the initial question says several things 1. I don't care about a ring. 2. We both value each other's independence and free spirit, we've endured a long distance relationship, and have gone through a lot more **** together... There's more to this than getting engaged for the attention, or "figuring out who we are." One of the great things about us is that we've grown together and supported each other's changes as we're becoming ourselves.

Thanks again for all the support! I appreciate it!

Sorry, I just wanted to clarify that we aren't getting married any time soon. Our date is in 2009 after graduation and during/ before we start grad school/ work. Our engagement would be about 2 to 2.5 years. Sorry for the confusion. :)

Answer 1

I'm 20 and my fiance is 21.. weird... same ages.. we've been together for 3 years and engaged 1.. we will have been engaged for 2 and together 4 when we get married next September. I don't think age is an issue.. you have to do whats right for you when you're ready, you can't put a time frame on love :) if you and your boyfriend want to be engaged 20 years and have a 10 year honeymoon, by all means.. do it ... do whatever makes you happy.. life is too short to worry about what other people think =) good luck

Answer 2

I think that if the two of you think you're ready, then you most likely are. It doesn't sound like you're jumping in to anything. It sounds like the two of you have really thought things out. People can be engaged for years and not be right for each other, or they can be engaged for a couple of months and find out that they have found Mr/Mrs. "right". The only piece of advice that I would offer is that you should make sure that you can communicate, REALLY communicate. The neat stuff (like engagements and weddings) are fun to think about, but unless you can talk about the really important every day type of things that will affect your relationship you might not make it.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out for the two of you.

Answer 3

There isn't an age that tells you if your to young ect..
I got married at 21 and have been happily married for 10 years now.Two years is a good time to be engaged, that way you know for sure that he's the ONE.
I think a cool way to propose, since your thinking about a x-mas wedding would be to have a santa involved in some way whether it be at a mall ect...

Answer 4

I say get engaged. A two year engagement is NOT too long. I was engaged for a year and wished I had more time to plan everything. You get to enjoy it more the longer it is. There is no age requirement. You might as well be engaged already since you have been together awhile. Good luck!

Answer 5

I am 20 and my fiancee is 27, and I think you should do whats best for you. Your life will continue in college whether you get married now or later. Whatever feels right to you is what you should do!! It is so beautiful to see such love in a relationship!! Live your life for the 2 of you...everyone else will go with it!!! YAY!!

Answer 6

20-21 is just swell, actually. Just keep in mind that the longer the engagement, the more people are going to be pestering you every freaking day about your wedding plans and offering copious amounts of unsolicited advice. After about three months of this, you're going to want to kill them and get married just to shut them all up...and THEN they start pestering you about when you're going to have kids. ;-)
Take your time, enjoy a stress-free period of dating, make some wedding plans before people can throw in their opinions, have a shorter "official" engagement and an easier wedding.

Answer 7

Do you really want to get engaged - or just have a rock on your finger???

I think 20 & 21 is way too young to know what you want for the rest of your life!

Answer 8

Go for it!! If you both know that y'all want to be together for the rest of your lives, then whats stopping you? Being engaged for 2 years isnt a big deal. It gives time for y'all to get to know eachother even better.

Answer 9

I think it is great and what is wrong with him getting a ring and you 2 could still finish out your plans on school that is what everyone is worried about and they are right you should but when you put the ring on is when all of the pressure is on you then you can see how to handle this. Your family starts on you his will start on him to the point that you to will have to set them straight it will be okay. do it.

Answer 10

Yes, 20 and 21 is too hurried, neither one of you has really experienced life yet. Marriage is for those who are ready to settle down. Live life, a little, first.