i hate my mother in low because.... - what should i do ?

Question

i have been married for 5 months now and i knew my husband very well before our marrige , i also knew that my mother in law loved me like if i am her own girl , that day i was lookin in my husbands cell phone nd i saw that msg fron her telling him `` stop spoiling her or else she will control you just like how she controls her parents`` i was so SHOCKED how could she say that but the msg was sent a long time ago before i am married , now everytime she look at me or talk to me i feel like choking her .. i know shes a good person but it seems that shes the kind of person who fake her personality .. what should i do im feeling angry and i start hating her so much

Answer 1

Just BREATHE! take a breath and ask your husband what she was talking about...ok?

Answer 2

Ohh...that's so sad, yet kind of funny. I am sorry, I have the same kind of issue. Keep loving her. It was a long time ago, if anything ask your hubby why he kept that message for so long and ask him how she really feels now. Mom's are very protective and they hate to lose their little boys to another woman. At the time she was probably feeling intimidated by your presence and venting childishly. If she is kind and sweet to you now, I am sure she has accepted you and her oppinion has changed. It may have been a first impression thing to. On first impressions, people who are meeting a new signifigant other to a close family member will be gaurded and untrusting, often jumping too conclusions. Let the past be the past. If you catch evidence that she still feels that way and she is being too faced, then be respectful of your husband and don't change your attitude towards her, just be gaurded and careful.

Answer 3

SAME SITUATION HERE!!! My boyfriend (soon to be husband's) mother is the same except she is nice to me only to get into his wallet. she even went so far as to tell him when I was pregnant with our 9 year old THAT IT WASN'T HIS. I never even leave the house except for work. When our son was born looking like his "mini me" she faked an asthma attack and left LMAO. She told him that until he was married SHE was to be the most important person in his life...that included his only child. If this lady likes you, she likes you, if she doesn't LET THAT BE HER PROBLEM. I used to wonder how I could be with such a wonderful man with his mom always yapping about me behind my back (I'm a professional and she's, well, a beggar) she treated him like crap as a kid and expects to be treated like a queen today. Your role is to love him, if he loves you back, the deal is sealed. She can say whatever she wants but when he looks at you and sees something totally different than what she says, that's what matters. I bent over backward to make his mom like me then it dawned on me.....SHE RUNS NOTHING...BUT HER MOUTH. I just stay out of her way unless it's unavoidable. If not, I am chilly but nice, letting her know I will NOT lay down for you but I'm here, we're happy DEAL WIT IT.
Hope that helps. No need saying anything, it will only make hubby feel like he has to choose and bring an issue. THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL. And trust me, I picture my hands around her kneck aaaalll the time.

Answer 4

sorry ...know how u feel i have a toxic mother in law she doesnt so much say anything but she sometimes incinuates **** so far i have kept my mouth shut but i even had another female member of his family make out like my husbands under my thumb which is bull b/c that family member doesnt even know him well or us as couple well enough to make that judgement but she said it in front of my mother in law my husband has never bothered visiting his mother much even when he was married b4 but i seem to get the blame shes also quite twisted at times b/c when we first got 2gether she was nasty about his x wife but now she talks 2 her and always acts like she gets on with her when i know through other members of the family that they hated each other iam also not the only daughter in law who she nasty to her other son lives 200 miles away and doesnt often visit b/c she has tried to cause probs in his marraige so dont worry u r not the only 1 who has to deal with a bitter old lady just smile sweetly and bite ur tounge she has nothing better to do.........my husband knows how i feel and thinks that his mother doesnt know how to be with me b/c i have a good job and havent had children yet wheras she had 5 and whereas some in the family ask 4 hand outs we never do

Answer 5

I know that is hard but she may see something in your life you don't see. Maybe you do control your parents, but what is important is that she really likes you. That is not a comment that says she hates you or your a piece of trash. She is being a normal mother sometimes over protective, but I wouldn't put much stock in it. I'm sure sometimes my mother in law whom I love dearly might say something of the same thing and I am spoiled. I wouldn't want my child being under someone's control. Just don't worry it doesn't change how much she really likes you.

Answer 6

I too have a mother in law that I often wonder how a perfect man like my husband could come from such evil. But honestly what helps me is knowing that the more we spend married and the more we are loving and honoring one another it aggravates her and I figure she will either budge or stay hating me for no reason!! You got your husband, be content and joyous with him don't worry about the stupid message, forgive and live.

Answer 7

Talk to your husband about it & see what he says. Don't worry because your not alone... my future mother in law hates me & im not too fond of her either. But as long as your husband understands how you feel then you'll be fine. Sometimes you've just got to put a smile on and bite your tounge.

Answer 8

Although I know it will be difficult, my advice would be to let it go..but definitely treat her with a long handled spoon. Be cautious around her...but don't go out of your way and definitely don't be fake like she is being with you.

You don't want to rock the boat on your marriage by 1) Letting him know you were looking through his phone--he will think you are insecure and 2)allow a statement made in the far past to bring conflict to your relationship

Everything will work out, you will be fine! :-)

Answer 9

my mother in law is very fake to me too i just suck it up and smile the same fake smile back to her you are not married to you mother in law you are married to you husband don't worry about it you don't have to live with her day in and day out you wouldn't want to upset you husband by saying something about it he might lose trust in you for looking through his cell

Answer 10

Just let it go, life is too short to worry about what someone else thinks about you, Kindness is the best way to get at her.