everytime i look at theses people all i see is PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT but when it comes to looking in the mirror all i see is Failure how could this be it was all so great one year and it turned to DIRT the next??
2006-11-16 11:53:07 · 6 answers · asked by crazysme2001 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
i like it........ typical teenager material.......i really do like it!!
2006-11-16 12:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by tishhh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 'poem' is a stream of consciousness. Without any layout or punctuation or 'meter', it becomes verbal diarrheah. Sorry. Goth dirge is about right.
But it is a start and i know what you mean. All was well some time ago, and now it has turned to crap. Grrrrrr.
But the thing is, IT WILL IMPROVE. Do not give up hope. Do soemthing nice for someone else and maybe they will appreciate it and you will feel useful - a great improvement over DIRT
This is your substitute mother speaking!
2006-11-16 20:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to structure it. It sounds like something you have taken straight out of your personal diary. The content is good though...very angry.
2006-11-16 21:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay, but it needs work. It needs punctuation, and spelling.Also no offense intended, but you seem mad at the world, maybe you could use some therapy.
2006-11-16 20:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by d4rkr4v3n77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a goth dirge, its good.
2006-11-16 20:02:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about, ur a "teen"ager :)
the poem is fine
2006-11-16 19:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋