If you have had an affair, pls answer?

Question

If you had an affair but chose to end it and stay with your significant other, did you still think about it everyday and lie about how you really felt? (just wondering because my man of 6 years met a woman aka whore, at work and they went out behind my back, and he broke it off with me for about a month, just so he didn't feel guilty while partying with this whore. Anyway we are back together living in a new place, trying new things and I am just wondering what he might be thinking about all this. he says he loves me and that if he didn't want to be with me then I wouldn't be here. Could you please answer honestly. Thank you

Answer 1

if he broke up with you to be with her, then obviously he doesnt deserve you. a man that cheats on a woman after 6 years does not appreacite the relationship very much. and if he was willing to break up with you for her than i wouldnt be surprise if he'll do the same later on.

Answer 2

I did not cheat, however my x husband did. I knew he did, all the signs were there & I had the gut feeling on it too. I tried for months to drag it out of him.. He wouldn't budge.. Told me I love you, blah, blah, blah. I didn't give in.. Finally I had bugged him so much that he finally admitted it all to me. I got all the great details. After absorbing all of that, I think I would have been better off not knowing all the great details. As it totally destroyed me. I was a lost soul. Needless to say, I could never trust him again & I did not want to be anywheres near him. I totally hated him afterwards. So my point here is this.. If you think that your relationship is meaningful & worth mending. I would put the past behind you. There may be things that after you find out, would push you away from him. In my relationship my x was an alcoholic & abusive to me.. So there wasn't much there to save. I just wanted the trueth no matter how bad it was. I always thought that as bad as my X was, he would never cheat on me. And I was so wrong. But you need to decide what's best for you. Way your pro's and con's on fixing it or ending it. To answer the ?, no I don't think they tell the full trueth.

Answer 3

First of all you anger is misplaced. I can understand you being hurt but to call this other woman a whore is just not right. You have to remember that your husband was the one who wronged you and this woman was just a pawn. Who knows what he told her. My point is this,you need to figure out what it is you want out of the marriage your in. Staying with a person who cheated on you is a really hard pill for anyone to swallow. You have to ask yourself if you can truly forgive him for what he has done and if you decide you can you can't keep wondering what his feelings are for you . Remember you taking him back was your choice and if you did it because you loved and felt you could trust him again then let the past be the past and move on and enjoy each other.

Answer 4

Ok my spouse and I have both been unfaithful.. actually I think I did it out of revenge but that doesnt cover up the fact that yes I had a affair.. and do know the hurt you are feeling.. and to be totally honest with you I do think about the guy i slept with.. even though i do love my husband and cant live without him ,, i will NOT LIE i do think of the other one occasionally.. and i am almost positive my hubby thinks about the others he has been with .. disfunctional we may be, but, it can work out for you but you will always have a feeling in your tummy that you spouse is cheating if they are or not.. its all about if you can live with it or not .. i do have to admit that even if i thought i was getting back at him i do not and will never again trust my spouse

Answer 5

I had one. A loooong time ago when I was married to my ex. And it was really just to get back at him for doing the same thing.
But I got pretty wrapped up in it and for a long time after we reconciled, I missed the other person and lied about how I felt to my husband. I know he did the same to me.

He should be totally kissing your butt right now if he wants to prove his committment to you. If he is even the least bit short or distant with you, he is probably not over her.

You deserve better... move on!

Answer 6

i think hes answer is very poor , he needs to offer commmment to the marriage at the very least

with guys its about choice , he has to choose to be committed to the marriage if he is not then its over , he is using emotional black mail and will do it again ,i been married now 22 years a nd had a affair more than 15 years ago , my biggest problem was i didnt under stand commitment . it means you have to make a choice about what sort of life style you want and who you want to be with . the affiar it self is forgivable , but his lack of making a choice needs to be addressed , hope this helps , come talk to me on yahoo if you want

im lucky i had a smart partner who understood better than i did
and i will not ever repeat the mistake

Answer 7

well how do you feel about the situation?....you call her a whore but really who should you be calling the whore?....your man....he is the one "committed" to you it was his choice..right? i'm not proud to say but i have been in his shoes and the truth of the matter was she found someone better...and yes i felt horrible...i dunno if he broke off the relationship for a month so he wouldn't feel guilty who's not to say in a year he'll do it again

Answer 8

I 'm sorry but once a cheater always a cheater, I wouldn't want a man telling me if I didn't love you wouldn't be here. He seems very smug with his reaction, I hate say this to you but he will cheat when he finds someone to cheat with, you need to leave find someone that really loves not someone you always have to worry about. You bets your boots this one you will always worry about.

Answer 9

i cheated on my man twice just b4 we decided 2get married(but never slept with them). we reconciled things &have since married. i fantasise about it all the time-not about those men-just about the rush &passion. im a mega flirt but im 100% honest with my man when i get these feelin &it actually kinda turns him on &we can act it out. i know i would NEVER cheat now that we r married(&have a lil baby too) but i do still think bout it all th etime. it has actually improved my sex drive as it has stimulated my mind. my man always tells me if another guy is checkn me out or he thinks some1 wants me cause he knows it turns me on-in turn he gets a wild time in return. hope u guys can work something out, but most of all trust ur gut instinct about whether 2keep him round....

Answer 10

Call me naive but if he got back together with you and says he loves you perhaps he found out the grass isn't always greener and really does want to make your relationship work. Ask yourself if you see positive changes in him. Good luck :-)