What do you guys think of this poem i wrote?

Question

An Angel’s Smile

She looked at him so weakly
With gloom in every breath
As tears poured from her eyes
She stared into the face of death

Little did she know,
Of all the things she never knew
All the times they never spent
All the memories made just for them two

She touched his hand gingerly,
Then his face, then his hair,
She turned away in silence
After laying a single white rose in despair

The memories made,
Now all gone to waste
All the time they spent
Now left a terrible taste

As she lie awake that night
All her tears now wet again
In her hand she held a gun
As she attempted to stop the insane

She let go one more single tear
And as it slipped away she shot
Now they both can be together
Though this way was never to be thought

Her mother now cries her tears,
As she holds her daughter one time more
Never again can she hear her pride and joy’s voice
Never again can she see her angel soar

As the casket is lowered
And buried in newly dug ground
Everyone drops a rose
And walks away without a sound

Yet her parents stay in silence
As they hold each other tight
An image appears dimly
Floating in the faint sunlight

They say an angel’s smile,
Is a blessing beyond ones count
For what her mother saw that evening
Could make believers out of ones so full of doubt

I love The Highwayman poem!

just as a comment to the first response
**grins**

Answer 1

I like this poem. It certainly shows the depth of feeling you put into it, and has some good imagery.
The subject matter is so abjectly sad, but life is made of both gloriously happy times and dismally dark depths.
I have one comment about the use of the phrase " all her tears now wet again" in the 5th stanza.
Since tears are always wet, what about changing it to read "both her cheeks now wet again" ?
Just a suggestion that you can use or not.
Please keep writing poems - it is a wonderful way to express yourself!

Answer 2

We're the equal, i do know we're We take a few paper out of a drawer We each sharpen our pencils till there is a great factor The most effective change is he is a man and I'm a woman But I made him and his international into what it's Through notion out strains I manipulate what he does in it But in view that our pencils are already out and sharpened Well sit down and write poems approximately writing poems.

Answer 3

The rhyme is good, but I don't see a point in the morbid approach. I would definately like to read more of your poems though.

Answer 4

Depressing. It reminds me of the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner. I'm sure you could make it scan better if you cared to. It's too morbid for my taste but it's good.

Answer 5

Let's think about living
Let's think about Loving
Let's think about the whooping and the hopping
And the lovey, dovey doving
Let's forget about the crying, the lying
The shooting and the dying
And the fellow with the swithchblade knife
Let's think about living
Let's think about LIFE!

Answer 6

I like it. The rhythm has an 'old ' feeling to it.
It reminds me of The Highwayman - one of my favorite poems.

Answer 7

It's very sweet and sentimental. It's too bad she is so sad.
Life on this planet is very fragmented and sad a lot of the time.
But there is a way out.

Answer 8

I don't like it personally, i hate to think people would do such a thing. i was nearly sobbing when i read it, its to depressing. make something good happen not bad. but overall, it's okay :-/