why does a child of an abusive alcoholic repeat?

Question

the same behavior. i loved one of these guys and i got out quick. can they not see what they do to those who honestly care.

Answer 1

Because it is learned behavior,and no generally do they don't see or care what they are doing to you or anyone else. You made the right choice in leaving him. His alcoholism is only going to get worse.
Keep in mind that there is nothing you can do for him. He has to hit bottom and be ready for help with his alcoholism, but not from you. From AA or another alcohol treatment program. Stay away from him!! Take it from me because I am a recovering alcohlic (never abusive but an alcoholic just the same) and have been sober for 3 years now. I know plenty of people like your ex but they won't change until when and if they get help. He is a danger to you!!!! Don't go back to him!!!!!
Good Luck.

Answer 2

addiction

Answer 3

not all do. That being said,
"The sins of the Father become the sins of the Child" is at work here.
Abuse is learned behavior. Child abusers create child abusers. Drunks create drunks. There is no simple cure.
If you can help it, do NOT get involved with an abusive alcoholic!

Answer 4

Supposedly, there is some genetic pre-disposition to alcholism, esp. with males. While violence is a largely learned behavior, I think that heredity plays a part as well. However, there is no excuse because there is also memory. No one can convince me that they don't remember how they and their family members suffered at the hand of a violent alcholic. That alone should certainly discourage that behavior, I don't care what Drs. say. If we don't condone it it won't happen. We seriously need to stop making excuses for these people . I applaud your courage but don't give him the excuse of "not see it". Believe me he does . You are only enabling him. I am a survivor. My mother wasn't.

Answer 5

Well my father was an acholic and i watched a lot of stuff growing up that i shouldnt have i turned out fine but , my brother on the other hand who sees a phyciatrist once a month becasue he is a repeater of the behavior. it is becasue growing up they see . then they act on it becasue it is all they have ever known just like you take a child out of a well brought up home how do they act?? Quit well. but you take another child out of a home with achohal and drugs and violence see if they dont grow up walking in the same foot steps

Answer 6

This is not always true. I have a friend who says his father taught him how NOT to behave and he is a very gentle and successful guy who is an awesome asset to the community. Unfortunately, I realize he is not your typical product of the upbringing you've described. Still, I want you to remember that there are exceptions to every rule, especially if the child is fortunate enough to have some positive role models in his or her life.

Answer 7

We learn what we live, what we live is normal to us. If someone grows up in an abusive environment he/she would need some assistance and counseling to change the behaviors and what is their normal. God bless*

Answer 8

well it's simple

in life, you are the victim or the abuser

and when they become adults, they subconsciously decide that they do not want to be the victims anymore so they become the abusers, identify with their abusers

but not everyone who was abused become an abuser

just some

Answer 9

You need to get to really know who your "in love " With if you say you found out after you fell in love its no wonder the divorce rate is 68% in this country

Answer 10

We are all products of our environments. If that is what they see growing up, then that is the pattern that perpetuates into adulthood. I've seen it in my very own family.