grown children!?

Question

i love them, but want them out on there own, i know its hard out there, but they dont seem to be doing anything to get themselves in a place to take care of ther own, how do i support them, but get them the **** out?

Answer 1

Sit them down, have a discussion, tell them it is time to set some goals, such as moving out of the house. And stick to it. Set a date, give them some time. And stick to the date you set. good luck and God bless*

Answer 2

Did you use the 18 years following birth to teach them how to be self-sufficient, responsible, and to understand the value of hard work and living within their means? If they're still depending on you, the answer to that question is NO.

No child can raise itself, and too few parents seem to be willing to put in the time and effort to really prepare their children for adulthood. I am a single mother and my son hates when I am strict, but he has been told since a very young age that Mommy is a job title, not a name. And my job is to teach him how to truly take care of himself, not to be his friend or MAC machine or entertainment service. The times he's been mad at me or even told me he hates me I've looked him straight in the face and told him I can live with that, and that I still love him.

Legally, you may not be responsible for your offspring, but morally you still are. Make a contract with them that includes paying rent and helping out around the house, as well as basic house rules (e.g. no drugs, quiet after 10:30 p.m., etc.). Make the contract for a set amount of time specific to that individual's circumstances: You will help them learn how to be self-sufficient until the end of the contract - as long as they stick to their end of the contract. If they break it, deal's off and they have to move out.

Answer 3

Get a newspaper.
Sit down next to your children (one at a time) and say we are job hunting today. Let's see what's in the paper. If they object, remind them that you are sharing your home with them and they don't seem to mind. So, they shouldn't mind if you share in their lives. Besides, you don't want them to think you aren't being supportive. You love them and want them to be prosperous members the adult world. You are helping them so that they don't have to do it all alone. Remind them. Then remind them that you would be a bad parent if you didn't make sure they were contributing members of society. Take them to pick up applications and help them type up resumes. Help them mail them out. Take them to interviews. (Wait in the car.)
Once they get a job. Tell them you are giving them 30 days to save their money, then, buy another paper. Sit down and tell them that you are going to help them find a place of their own. (Refer to previous advice if they balk at this idea.)
Take them to look at apartments. Help them find one that they can afford.
Then give them two weeks to get moved in, with your help of course.

If they don't do it. Change the locks.

This worked for some of my brothers and sisters. The locks were never changed, but we did pack up their stuff for them the toward the end.
Everyone got over it in the end. Everyone is better off for it.
One of them is a trainer for a trucking company, one is a computer genius and has a family of his own, one is a technology wiz and is married to a wonderful girl, and the other has a family of her own and a full time job with benefits. My mother has her sanity.

Answer 4

Tough love. Being loved does not mean people like your choices. Not many people like change yet once it occurs it is looked upon as one of the most freeing experiences. Lay it on the line. This is how I feel and you need to take responsiblity for your life. I can not and will not support your lack of self support any longer. I need my space and you need to respect my wishes. You now have 2 months to get your "stuff" together and leave. You are welcome to visit BUT you are no longer welcome to live here. I need to live my life for me and you need to do the same. I love you and always will. You need to leave. I accept no excuses where there is a will there is a way.If they refuse to leave pack their stuf and call the authorities. to have them removed. Stand firm in your conviction of loving yourself. To thine own self be true.

Answer 5

Why are you so hostle towards your own children? Perhaps you should ponder that before you throw them out onto the streets, hmm?


Oh, and if they want to stay in your home they should have to pay rent just like anywhere else.

Answer 6

Try to set a date and after that "tough love."

Answer 7

you can't just kick your kids out after you provided for them all this time...it's your fault...maybe you should have thought about this let's say about 10 years ago?