How do I get my husband to trust me again?

Question

I've cheated on him just this once. Now he's very jealous and suspicious all the time. What can I do or say to convince him that he can trust me from now on?

Answer 1

My deepest sympathy goes to your husband. It's never an easy thing to forgive and foret when the person you trusted most betrays that trust. You'll just have to earn his from scratch. Be patient and understanding because the pain you have caused him is much greater than the jealousy that you have to put up with. I'm sure if he could have he would have gladly change roles with you!

It will take a long time for his wounds to heal. In the mean time you must bask him in your love and affection. Show him in every way possible how sorry you are and how much you still love him. Good luck because you're going to need it!

Answer 2

He can't just trust you from now on, and you don't deserve to get that respect and trust back immediately.

I am not trying to come down on you, I am just being honest.

The only thing that will help you is time. Be where you say you will be, and be a woman of your word from here on out. He has a right to be suspicious for a while, you have really hurt him. Hopefully he will continue to stay. I would also let him know everywhere I went for a while. Give him some time to get over this, and good luck.

Answer 3

well first of all I hope it was worth it for you to cheat since now you are gonna be living the next several years of hell. The fights arguements and no trust will hit you all at once nomatter what you do, even if you just take the trash out side that will be a fight. Trust is very hard for someone to gain back. My husband cheat on me and it took me 3 years to trust him again. I gave him nothing but hell. What pleased me was that he stopped drinking going out hanging out with his boys turned off his pager and cell phone and checked in with me everyday all day. All the way till I realized I need to stop babysitting him he is a grown azz man and I should just trust him because I no in my heart he is not cheating anymore. You just need to be there for your husband comfort him love him and give him time and space. Don't push him since he hasn't called it quits it's more than likely he just needs time to get over what you have done. Just don't argue or fight with him if he acusses you because that will just make you look more quilty to him. Just stay calm and talk to him nicely. Do things for him that you may have never done just keep surprising him and show him how much you are sorry and how much you love him.

Answer 4

Sorry, but NOTHING can instantly undo the damage cheating causes. It will take a long time, if ever, before he'll trust you again. In his place, wouldn't you have doubts and reservations? This is why cheating is so bad. Once it happens, it's no longer an impossibility. Except for attempting to murder the spouse, I can't think of anything more damaging for a marriage than infidelity. Good luck to you folks.

Answer 5

Affairs are not one night stands. Cheating can be a one night stand, a short lived infraction, or a habit. In either case, cheating or affair, the result is a show of disrespect for one's partner. Infidelity can occur for many reasons. Boredom, unfulfilled psyche issues, addiction, revenge, emotional insecurity ( immaturity ), and poor judgment during times of inhibition, to name a few. Affairs usually begin with emotional bonding, then proceed to physical intimacy. Affairs of the heart usually start as friendships, progress to emotionally connected, then develop a chemistry. Somewhere between friendship and emotionally connected, something dangerous occurs and the individuals develop a common bond. It can be a common bond of dissatisfaction at home or with their significant other. The individuals involved somehow find a common thread in which they can share discussions, listening, problem solving. In most cases, when the individuals are of the opposite sex, and involved with other people, this starts a recipe for an affair. As the friendship bond progresses and strengthens, a potential progression of this bonding brings with it the danger of progressing physical intimacy. If either of the individuals involved are experiencing home based relationship issues which are causing dissatisfaction, then the risk of affair is higher.

The damage of an affair?
The most damaging part of an affair is that which is experienced by the person that was victimized by the cheating. If you are a spouse or significant other that has been on the receiving end of infidelity, then the most damaging part of this situation is the lack of self trust. Most persons are able to come to grips with the infraction, however, resolving the potential of possible future infractions is where most people have damaging psychological effects. The internal conflict that arises is "How can a person, the victim, that has shown poor character analysis, trust themselves not to engage in another future relationship that will end the same way?" This lack of self trust often plays itself out in "control" issues, especially in first relationship that occurs immediately following a failed relationship.

Can couples recover from an affair?

First the question of why the person cheated needs to be answered. If the cheating is part of a sexual addiction, recovery is difficult. People also need to recognize the health dangers of this behavior. Some couples are known to have agreements that condone multiple sexual partners. This raises the question about why they are a committed couple in the first place. Some couples proceed through life "trolling" while others like to "chum" for sharks. In either case these behaviors not only carry a health risk, but they also carry the risk of a chemical bond being created with another person. Studies on brain chemistry and hormonal responses support the notion that the early courtship period, years 1-3, are bolstered with the ignition of heated biochemical reactions. These reactions, much like the brain's response to chocolate, create a biochemical glue that supports a couple's early years. After several years, the relationship needs more than just chemistry to survive. If no mutual respect has developed, or the relationship doesn't have any other dimensions, the relationship will most likely fail. Without a strong respect and common ground, then no "glue" exists, except common history, to hold the relationship together while work is done to repair it. And be assured this repair takes focus and hard work. However, if a person has an addiction to the biochemical reactions, then it is a good bet that further acts of cheating will follow. Recovering a relationship from infidelity, or simply recovering from being victimized by a cheater takes time. If a couple decides to repair their relationship then the single most important thing to focus on is a persons actions. If a person has been cheated on, and they are willing to move past it and repair the relationship, then the real test of a person is their credibility. Credibility never developed out of talking. It only develops out of actions that support one's verbal intentions. If the cheater is unable to overcompensate for a period of time, by being overly accountable for their actions, then the credibility that is necessary to repair the broken trust will not develop. Without this trust, no respect develops, and the "glue" necessary fails to lend itself to the repair of the relationship.

Answer 6

Well if he really loves you all you need to do is show him you love him tell him you love him and be completely honest with him about everything. Even the smallest little white lie can be a big thing at this point if he thinks you are being the least bit secretive then he will lose more and more trust in you. I know because I was in a similar situation with my ex-, and those are the things I wish I could have had from her to help me rebuild our trust.

Answer 7

There's nothing you can do or say that would make him trust you again. It is something he has to come to terms with on his own. And even if he decides to give you another chance, it may take a long time for him to trust you again (if at all) like he did before you cheated on him.

Answer 8

Only time will tell, girl. You cannot make him trust you; that has to be earned. If you gave in and slept with someone else, how can anyone beleive you won't do it again any time you get ticked off at hubby or feel bored and hemmed in? It will take a long time - years - for him to trust you fully, if he ever does.

Answer 9

Dang girl...why did you have to go do something stupid like that? Of course he's going to be suspicious from now on. Wouldn't you be? He has the right to be suspicious. Only time can mend a broken heart...it won't matter what you say. What's done is done...from now on...if you really want to to save your relationship...my advice...kiss ***! Best of luck to the both of you.

Answer 10

You can't. He'll never completely trust you again. Once that marriage promise is broken, you'll never have the same level of trust. He'll always wonder where you are, who you're with and if you'll do it again. And you know what? He's justified in thinking that.