My wife and I met when she was 14 and I was 16. We dated for a year before ANYTHING happened. When I turned 20 and she was 17 we had our son Justin Jr, he is now three years old. Before he was one I went into the military and was gone for a while(no deployments) We moved to Washington from Ohio for a year and had a great time. Now since we got back from washington, we have been arguing a lot. She doesn't like waht I have to say about anything. If I see a friend driving drunk I yell at him and she yells at me saying its not my problem. I love her with all my haert. I am now 23 and she is 20 about to turn 21. About two months ago she said she was unhappy. So I worked on it and then she sat down with me last week and said I had changed everything she didn't like. But that she STILL wasnt happy. Now she is getting her own place less than a week apart. How do I get her back. It is so hard not to call her and bug her. and it is so lonley here at my apartment... I need HELP!.
2006-11-16 08:55:22 · 13 answers · asked by Justin N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now what exactly is she unhappy with? My guess is she's not giving you the full story. Did she suddenly decide that a married life and the responsibilities that go with it, is not what she wanted in the first place? Was she upset with you because you were gone and she was feeling lonely? Is there another man in the picture? If you are even going to try to save your marriage, you need to do a heart to heart talk with her and find out what she wants out of the marriage. If she wants out, then I guess she has made her choice. Not much you can do about it then.
2006-11-16 09:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to "educate" her as if she is a dog!!! first of all, your current situation must me the consequence of something... what has been happening between you two?? haven't you tried to consider that she must be even less satisfied than you are?? you are thinking just about "fingering" and stuff like that when maybe the source of the problem is communication?, empathy? and understanding??? anything else Beyond the mere sexual act? And don't even try to take this situation as an excuse and cheat on your wife now!! That would very selfish and even immature for a man of your age... Try to listen what she has to say and DON'T JUDGE her of having traditional thoughts... im sure there's a lot to save in in your marriage, even more after 22 years!!!!! Good luck and sorry If I spoke strongly but men sometimes are so thoughtless....
2016-03-19 09:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I want to say that I am so sorry for what your going through. It seems to me that your really trying to keep your marriage together.
It must have been hard for her to marry and have a baby at such a young age. I wounder if she think she is missing out on any thing in life because of marrying so young. She might be blaming it on you. Even though I know that shes not missing out on any thing. Having a family of your own is a very great achievement and well rewarding. Being away from each other is hard on a relationship also. I don't know what advice to give you except to pray. I just hope that things work out for the best for both of you.
2006-11-16 09:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by flesh_of_daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry- I think you and your wife were so young at marriage, maybe she feels unhappy because shes missed out on some of the things young adults without babies and responsibilities get to partake in. My friend was married at 18, has 2 children, and goes out drinking nearly every weekend. I don't know how her husband puts up with that. Anyhow, I think the only thing you can do is give her some space/time to figure out what she wants... In the meantime, you should try to enjoy some of the advantages of being a single 23 year old... Go out with some friends, have some parties, be young and enjoy it...
2006-11-16 09:01:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both were really young when you married. She is probably wanting to spread her wings and figure out life on her own. Give it some time. Work on being a good father and a better YOU. Maybe there are things about yourself that you would like to change or improve. Good luck buddy.. it'll all work out for the best.
2006-11-16 09:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh getting married soooooooo young isn't good because we all change with time.
She sounds like she has a lot of hostility twords you, which means she is mad about other things and takes it out on you no matter what you do.
She may not like some of your personality traits, like you yelling at cars. And even if you change that, it seems like SHE needs to find happiness within herself before she can get it with you.
Hopefully you guys can get some counseling. One thing you can try is to ask her to go on a date with you. Get a babysitter. And treat your wife like a date, as if you don't know them. Start to treat her like your princess. If she fights it, there isn't much you can do. We all need to be established with our own happiness before we can be happy with someone else.
Sounds like she might be depressed and need some counseling and maybe some medication.
Do what you can, beyond that you can't do much more than that.
2006-11-16 09:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has fallen out of love with you. You can't make someone love you. It will be an unhappy marriage. She also needs to learn to quit trying to change people, or she will never be happy with anyone.
2006-11-16 09:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly your best bet is to realize you married to young and maybe didn't quit know everything about each other before taking the plunge. Always remember she is the mother of your child and you two will be attached forever but you need to move on.
If she is willing to go to counseling then take her up on it. If not don't wait around for her nor stalk her.
2006-11-16 09:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Justin . i know how you feel ... it is really hard to get someone that you love back into your life.. too bad life doesn't have a rewind button .. but whatever you do don't give up . keep on talking to her and asking her how she wants you to be .. she seems like she still loves you but may just want some time alone .. if you do give up then love will just slip away.. trust me i have been through this .. write her letters .. apologize ... be romantic .. being romantic is a key to a woman's heart..
2006-11-16 09:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by jack jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's funny how people say we shouldn't change ourself for our spouse because they should accept us for who we are but in reality we do change ourselves especially when we're truly in love. You should ask your wife how she really wants you to be and if you can adjust to that then more power to you. If you can't change for what she wants maybe it's her lost. How can she not expect you to be any different over the months and years? Nobody truly stays the same. Good luck to the both of you!
2006-11-16 09:21:33 · answer #10 · answered by pangfvlx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋