about 4 years ago I had a really good freindship with a chap called mike, but i was married and my husband worked abroad, a rumor went round my work that we were having and affair (we were not and neither of us had even thought about it) we ,just had a conectction (nothing sexual) and i was concidered by him as one of the chaps. My mother found out about the rumor which apparently she found upsetting! she told my father and when they were staying with me mike rang me at home one eveing for a chat my father picked up the phone and told mike (very nicely) that he was not to ring anymore - and basicly that was it - i never saw him again. I am still married and my husband still works abroad, not that makes any diffrence, I would really like to try and find Mike even if it was just to applogies for how our freindship ended. Does anybody have any suggestion of how i should find him or if i even should. any advise would be great.
2006-11-16 08:52:22 · 10 answers · asked by fun1 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You say that there was nothing going on between the 2 of you, you were just good friends, you had a "connection", but yet rumours started about the 2 of you having an affair. The fist line says "but I was married" and then you go on to say you're still married and your husband still works abroad...but that it makes no difference. I think it does. In reading this I get the impression that although there was nothing going on, you may have subconsciously wanted it to...if I'm wrong, then I apologise.
You never mentioned if Mike tried contacting you again; if you were such good friends surely he would have discussed with you why your father asked him not to call back. I am a little curious, though, as to why your father would think it was his place to forbid your friends not to call your house?
I think the question you should be asking is WHY you feel the need to reconnect with this guy? Do you want to apologise for the way the friendship ended, or do you want to rekindle the relationship? Once you're honest with yourself you'll find the right answer. All the very best!
2006-11-16 09:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop it. An emotional bond feels just as much like cheating to the other spouse. Maybe that's not fair, but it is usually the case.
If you choose to find him, ask yourself first if it is worth losing your hubby to do so.
Finally, asking your husband if it is OK is useless. He will say OK to prove he trusts you...then he'll still get upset and hold it inside. That's a recipe for trouble.
2006-11-16 17:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by bistekoenighasteangst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea to try and contact him.....if he was calling your home awhile ago when you were married....I would be very suspicious...........enough to raise suspicion with your p's and the people you work with.
To be honest if u really like him and you are thinking about divorcing your husband in the near future.....by all means.....perhaps you should contact this guy.....but, if you are thinking about contacting him just to apologize....doesn't make sense...leave things be........you'll be stirring something back up.
It's not nice to tease you know. Men don't like it either.
2006-11-16 17:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by jazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he was a good friend wich he obviosly was because he did as you asked . then you were the one who wasnt a good friend. you never called or explained, told him how you felt or anything. i think thats sort of wrong on your part. if you two were such good friends you wouldnt have done him like that. but go ahead and try to contact him theres nothing wrong with trying to fix things. go to Whitepages.com thats a wonderful site! i found my brother with it.
2006-11-16 17:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by raspberrysmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, cheating isn't just about sex, it's about having an intimate relationship or connection with another person, other than your spouse. I think it's best you stay away from this other guy.
2006-11-16 17:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by mama of two 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might not be a good idea to stir up the past again.
However if you still want to you could try to search for him by putting his name in search engines or those online "classmate finders" or hire a detective to find him
2006-11-16 16:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sammy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave things as they are, any attempts on your part will
upset your Dad, and if he does not find out you will feel
guilty in any event.
2006-11-16 17:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea i think you should but just a freindship type relationship
2006-11-16 17:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by Victoria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you still want to be friends then go for, but if you really really like him then go and get him
2006-11-16 17:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by SUNSH!NE© 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does this have to do with pregnancy...try picking a better category, and then maybe someone will give you answers
2006-11-16 16:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Felix S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋