my mom has a very bad illness, and the doctores said with to mch strees she could die. shes not supose to have strees in her life but every thing is. this week end my mother and i have t go to a wedding, and as if shes not stress out enough my brother has to push her to the edge. i've try'd to talk to my brother but he will not listen. i want to do something anything to help lower her stress. what could i do to help keep my mom alive? oh and i have four brothers.
2006-11-16 08:04:58 · 9 answers · asked by summmer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Help with the housework, shopping and any other thing that your mom would appreciate. If you are able try to address your concerns with your brothers in a mature manner and ask them to kick in and help their mom too. You sound like a very thoughtful and responsible daughter so do whatever you think your mom would like help with and do it without he having to continue to tell you to or yell at you to do. Most of all let your mom know how much you love her and want to be there for her if she needs you. Don't smother your mom though as I'm sure that there are many things that she still wants to be responsible for also, so as not to waste away either physically or mentally. Good luck and I hope your mother's health improves and that you and your siblings can work as a team to help her.
2006-11-16 08:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to ur brothers.... how old are they??? goodness gracious. they should learn to take care of you, their mother, and their future girlfriends by learning how to be the Man of the house: that makes making good decisions that affect the family as a whole.
anyways, since they're not doing it, u gotta. so, try to help out as much as possible regarding chores, such as making dinner, cleaning up, etc. get her some DVD's of movies she likes.. watch fun things like Mary Poppins or Sound of Music..... musicals are always good.
have u ever considered getting a small pet for her? a lot of times a pet can help de-stress people. is she able to go walking at all? take some walks w/ her, in the afternoons when it's nice out. encourage her to do Painting, or Drawing.. some kind of hobby where she is Busy, and yet she is making something Tangible.... she may be proud of it, and go to it when she feels stressed out.
good luck~~ she's lucky u care so much.. try hard not to get burned out ok? :)
2006-11-16 16:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it is nearly impossible to avoid stress in anyone's life it is possible to reduce stress. Clearly you love your mother very much as I am sure that your brothers do as well. The first thing you should do is call a family meeting in a neutral place (without mom present). You could all meet at a restaurant or at a small private room in your church. For the sake of your mother you must all be present and you must all be in agreement that what you are doing is in her best interest. Talk about your mother's needs both physical and emotional. Talk about her doctor's recommendations for reducing her stress levels. Once you open a dialogue between everyone in the room you will find one of two things: each of you will be moving towards agreement or each of you will be arguing. What you will find is this: there are reasons why your brother(s) push her to the edge. Sometimes when a person fears that ther parent is failing they act out in anger. Sometimes it is the only way they know how to react. At your initial sit down meeting ask everyone in the room to write down on a slip of paper what they love most about your mother - ask them not to sign the paper so that it is anonomous. Read each statment outloud. Share the best memories you have of your mother - then gently remind each of your siblings that there are pleanty more times to share with Mom - Christmas and Birthdays and Easters and Thanksgivings.
The best thing you can do right now is issue jobs for each of your siblings. These are little commitments to help your mother ease her stress levels. And this doesn't have to be manual labor chores. They can be things as simple as one brother goes to mom's house for two hours on Tuesday evening to talk about her week. One brother helps organize her medications for the week to come on Sunday nights. One brother cooks (or brings) her dinner on Friday nights. A game night for everyone once a month where you all get together and play cards with Mom. You will find a regular rhythm to this new life but over time you will find these tiny commitments (just a few hours a week) will add up over time. You will ultimately see your mother smile and have an lightness in her heart when she sees all her children working in harmony toward her wellbeing. Fancy gifts are nice but sometimes the most simple of gestures is worth its weight in gold.
You must remind your siblings that you will only have one mother. Gently remind them that she is her with you now. The last thing you want is to find yourself sitting at her funeral listening to her favorite song, tearing up because you are there to hear it and she isn't.
If all else fails, and don't be discouraged if you have a total breakdown of communtication, you may need to concider family therapy. If you cannot afford therapy as a group you may talk to a church priest or reverend. If you do not regulary attend church and find you have no other means contact your local chapter of The Council on Aging. They will help you find resources.
In the end your mother must meet you halfway. But there are things you can do to bridge the gap. By asking this question clearly you care and want the best for your mother. I hope you find the solace and peace you, your mother, and your family so rightfully deserve.
2006-11-16 16:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by Scott M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get everyone who is close to her together and have a talk with them, explain to them how important it is to keep your mothers stress level down, which means she should not be bothered with problems, squabbling, things like that, and also try to help her out as much as possible with cooking and cleaning, and holiday preperations, also just be there for her and let her know how much she means to you.
2006-11-16 16:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. FairyLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your brothers and tell them it could threaten her life. This is serious. Also, have your mom just relax and take a breather. Buy her an ice cream or candy. Maker her breakfast in bed - and make your brothers help! I wish you luck, hun. And tell your mom I am praying.
2006-11-16 16:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help out around the house as much as possible! Talk to your brothers and ask them to help too.
2006-11-16 16:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a similar thing is happening to me, talk sweetly to her, that helps, telll her to take naps, cook for her, talk about things that worry her buy her tihngs she likes to eat, make plans with her to go to the cinema, talk to your brothers and make them realise about eveeryting
2006-11-16 16:16:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your making your mom sicker by constantly asking for handouts from her. get out!
2006-11-16 16:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know that you care. it will do so much for her.
2006-11-16 16:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by my opinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋