I have been married for 6 years on and off, but every time me and my wife argue she brings up the past, and it makes me feel bad. I feel she is pushing me away. Second part of the story I am in love with my best friends ex Girl friend she is also in love with me........Should I leave my wife for her. My wife is not a bad person she has never cheated and she is a good mom to my daughter, but I just dont love her like I used to.
2006-11-16 07:43:17 · 25 answers · asked by Christopher A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say you're in a bit of a sticky wicket...! Good luck...!
2006-11-16 07:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question makes me feel bad for your wife. If you are like most men you have avoided the past problems you have had and still are! She is not pushing you away you are with drawing yourself. You said yourself she is not a bad person, so why would you do her so wrong. She has never cheated on you and she loves your child! You still love her, but not like you used to? Is it because you do not communicate? That is the number one key in relationships. It is not right to have a wife and your best friends x. MORALS! You never should cheat on your wife and you should never date a friends EX. You are just asking for trouble. AND HELLO this women obviously knows about your wife so she has some problems of her own. It sounds like you have already made up your mind. Remember what goes around comes around and I hope you get what you give. PEOPLE JUST DO NOT TAKE MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to counseling. A marriage should be important enough to try and make it work. You need to try and make it work if you still have some feelings for her.
2006-11-16 16:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rebel Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all. So your saying that your wife resents you for hurting her in the past for some reason and then you went out to fall in love with your best friends ex girl because your new girlfriend understood you and accepted you. And if your wife did that then you wouldn't have went out to look? Sorry for being so blunt but the thing is. What if you still love your wife and you decide to go with the new women then suddenly it gets boring then you start to regret that you left your family for this new woman? This new woman must talk personally to you and your wife is being busy resenting you for the past and you feel she is pushing you away. Right now your wife needs to learn how to forgive you in order to move on with your future together. You have two choices. one is leave your wife and move with the new woman. but the child is still there and thats the hard part , because this child will feel caught in the middle if you decide to leave your wife. Second choice is ask her to go to councilling with you to rekindle the relationship. If that fails at least you won't regret that you tried making it work with your little family.... other then that. Leave your wife and let her understand that you will love your daughter and negotiate the visits etc with the child.
Did you even communicate to your wife how you feel. Communication to her would open new doors and maybe she will express that she feels the same way as you do. Who knows maybe she wants out of the marriage as much as you do.
Its not fair that your only married to her for a child and scarce of child support or an ugly divorce. TALK TO HER. If you don't love her its not fair to her that she is in a loveless marriage. This good women deserves a honest man to love her and respect her. You broken the trust she once had.... Like i said sorry had to be so blunt. BUT its the truth.... Another thing you didn't mention here in your question is .The daughter? She is yours and your wife's or just yours? Well if thats the case. This women is so good to bring up your daughter and she deserves alot of respect from you that she doesn't get. If she is so nice she deseves a better man to love her and only her....
2006-11-16 16:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Damzel in distrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Chris, The 1st thing i want to say is ,,,," I am sorry that this is happening to you" ,,,,,,,,,, and the second is "Thank you for being a considerate and thoughtful gentleman for thinking about her feelings." Chris tell her you need to sit down and speak with her. Tell her how you feel and most importantly how you feel when she brings up the past. Ask her if she can let that go and move forward with you. And if her answer is "no" then ask her "Why can't you move on and let go of the past?" ,,,,,,,,,, and then the most important question of all,,,,,,,,, ask her if she still loves you? Then ask her if she wants to try separation for awhile. You never know,,,,,,,,,,,, the both of you might find that spark again while being separated. Or if not then the both of you know it is time to move on (divorce) and you will know that you tried to do everything you could to save the marriage and most importantly ,,,,,,,,she will also know. This is a sensitive subject and i know it is easier said then done. Good luck Chris.
2006-11-18 19:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past, but sounds to me like your pushing her away instead of the opposite. I mean if you know you love some other girl more than your wife, the question is already answered. The new question is " Is it worth it to leave a good person for a person who you don't know and more than likely break a family up?....and don't hate her for what you know you have done to break her heart in the first place.
2006-11-16 16:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't divorce your wife just yet. If you guys have a daughter together, then think about how your daughter would feel. Try to go to marriage counseling. I think you should tell your wife of how you feel, and ask her how she feels. If she doesn't love you as much anymore too, then you know. . . Still I think you should do everything in your power to save the relationship. If everything doesn't go well, then I guess you'll have to leave her. Be as gentle as possible so she won't be hurt as much.
2006-11-16 16:04:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sentimental_SOUL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude..don't just leave her because another woman. Leave her for the right reasons. You gotta think about your daughter. Cuz that's the most important thing. In the future this will change you daughters view of you. Your going to have make the decision on your own. Yahoo questions is not really the right place you need to look for answers. Tell her how you feel.
2006-11-16 15:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by Zac P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cant make you feel nothing!! You have the control over your feelings and everything you experience! If she pushes you away
ask her if she wants you to be the man that she is bringing to the table or be the man you are now? If you are cheating then just leave...because once a cheater you are always a cheater!!
2006-11-16 15:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by littlehawk337 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commitment doesn't mean anything to you. How is one married on and off? I doubt your wife is pushing you away, ya'll just need to deal with the past together. You are married and have no right to be in love with anyone else.
2006-11-16 15:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you find a good answer to this question let me know. I am in the same situation w/ my husband and his friend. If you are truly in LOVE w/ this other woman then leave your wife. People like us cant go on being unhappy in relationships. Please leave your wife before you move on don't do something you will regret.
2006-11-16 16:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by wvdevilgirl06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she keeps bringing up the past, then she will always bring it up. You might as well save yourself and her alot of heartache, and end it, not just move out and come around time to time,, divorce. As far as the friend's ex-girlfriend, that is a hourse of a different color , just make sure she is worth a friendship.
2006-11-16 16:27:10 · answer #11 · answered by erker34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋