As you may already know, the renovations of the sales office began last week. For the duration of this project, I have implemented a change in our hours of operation. Our new hours will be from 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.
I am also concerned for the safety of anyone who may be in the building at other times. There are potential dangers in a building that is under construction especially if the construction crew doesn’t know you are in the building.
In order to be sure the construction crew is aware that you are in the building, I am asking you to sign in with the security office during non business hours. In addition, the construction crew has requested you use the front entrance, as opposed to the east or west entrances.
Thank you for your patience. Soon we will all be enjoying a brand new work place. If you have any questions, feel free to call me at
2006-11-16 07:41:30 · 8 answers · asked by k9resq 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
pretty much perfect, i would change only the following:
I am [removed also. no need for it, since you have not expressed any other concerns previous to this sentence.] concerned for the safety of anyone who may be in the building at other times. There are potential dangers in a building that is under construction, [add comma] especially if the construction crew doesn’t know you are in the building.
In order to be sure the construction crew is aware of your presence [you used the phrase "in the bulding" to finish the previous paragraph. avoid repetition.], I am asking you to please [added please. it's both cordial and professional to say please when requesting something from employees.]sign in with the security office during non-business [added hyphen] hours. In addition, the construction crew has requested that {added "that." grammatical.] you use the front entrance, as opposed to the east or west entrances.
hope this helps.
2006-11-16 07:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you may already know, the sales office renovations began last week. Our hours of operation have been changed for the duration of this project. Our new hours of operation will be from 8:00 am until 5:00 pm.
I am also concerned for the safety of anyone in the building during "off hours". Hazards may exist during construction, so it's important that the construction crew is aware of your presence in the building. To this end, I am asking you to sign in with the security office during non-business hours via the front entrance, as opposed to the East or West entrances.
Thank you for your patience. Soon we will all enjoy a brand new work place. If you have any questions feel free to call me at...
2006-11-16 16:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by powerpack1000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the renovation of the sales office...
...potential dangers in a building that is under construction, especially if...
...during non-business hours.
the construction crew has requested that you use...
2006-11-16 15:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sir N. Neti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few things:
"There are potential dangers in a building under construction, especially if..."
"...aware that you are in the building, please sign in with the security office if you enter during non-business hours."
"brand-new" is hyphenated.
2006-11-16 15:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Add a comma (,) after the phrase "under construction" in the second sentence of the second paragraph. Other than that, everything looks fine to me.
2006-11-16 15:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Gee Wye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
paragraph 2 comma between construction and especially. paragraph 3 hyphen in non-business.
Your phrasing is in correct order and brand new does not have a hyphen.
2006-11-16 15:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by George G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be to switch the second and third paragraphs for better flow. Would put it in present temse too. "I am concerned..." "I am implementing..."
HTH
2006-11-16 15:51:43 · answer #7 · answered by mdetaos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks great to me (ex teacher)
2006-11-16 15:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by casey54 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋