Engaged but no wedding date set yet. I wanted to get married at the time and was very happy but reality and practicalities are setting in my unique situation. I feel if I got married now I would be a failure in life. I know it sounds weird but true with particular circumstances. I need to concentrate on my career now and attaining more education so that I will attain my dream and then marry. Besides, I lost that loving feeling with my fiance and feel it might be a big mistake if I went ahead with the marriage. I just hope my fiance can find another partner in life and won't be too hurt by the breaking up of our engagement.
2006-11-16 07:29:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course your fiancee will be hurt, who wouldn't? Don't stay with someone and marry them if you're not absolutely certain. You're just putting your happiness on the backburner for someone else - and you don't need that either. It's never too late to call anything off - even if you're walking down the aisle already. You haven't said "I DO" yet. Unless you want to end up another divorce statistic, I'd say call it off. Marriage can be very rewarding and wonderful if you find the right person and I think that's what you should do (find Mr. Right, not settle for Mr. Right Now)
2006-11-16 07:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Peach 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People make mistakes all the time and life, being so dynamic, keeps changing. Since you have realized much before that you want out, it would be best to tell your fiance the reason for your breaking up with him. I am sure that he would understand if you tell him properly. Also, mention that you find your career more important and that you are taking this decision since you think that it would be unfair on him if you both go ahead with the wedding. And believe me, life goes on. Your fiance will find someone and won't be too hurt by the breakup of the engagement provided, you spell out all the problems.
2006-11-16 07:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by l_kur 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get over yourself already. I'm sure your partner will find a better person to share their life with after you. Go ahead and focus on your career and whatever else you claim you need to do. You should just be honest and tell your partner that you no longer want to get married due to you are not ready. Honesty is always the best policy no matter what. You might want to work on that ego thing too, people get really turned off by that. Good luck.
2006-11-16 07:38:13 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not ready,DO NOT GET MARRIED it will be the best decision for you and your to be wife. It would not be fair to either of you to falsely lead her to believe this is your dream as much as it is hers.
Loving feeling well that always goes away. New love is awesome it is exciting and leaves you with this fuzzy nice feeling. Your true love will be your best friend because at the end of that new love feeling all you are left with is someone you can call your one true best friend. It will be the person that you wake up and first think about and the last person you think about before going to sleep. If something happens the first person you want to call and tell. This is that loving feeling that you should have. It is this friendship that truly makes a marriage. If she is that person it is not over because you call off a wedding. You should be able to share your dreams and feelings with your love, tell her that you are not ready that you want to continue your education so that you can make a better life for yourself and her. If she truly loves you she will support you in this decision.
2006-11-16 07:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by Shell 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you considered talking to your fiance? How do you know if you will be a failure? What makes you believe that once you get married that your career goes down the toilet? If anything you will always have someone to support you in your career decisions. There will be someone there to perk you up when your day is bad. Are you saying that because of your fiance your entire life will be one giant failure? Thats harsh to say and maybe your fiance needs to be with someone who wont blame their entire shitty life on them.
You shouldnt be worried that your fiance wont find another partner because anyone that wont blame them for a crap career is better than you.
2006-11-16 07:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it's not too late. I broke a 2 yr. engagement cause it was going nowhere fast, and he was becoming more an more controlling all the time. I also ended up feeling only a good friendship with him. We had been together for 6 yrs. If you aren't sure about this it's best to end it now then have to get a divorce later(especially when kids start getting involved).
2006-11-16 07:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An engagement is a promise to marry, you no longer feel that way, tough you did,t say how long you have been engaged, if your career is that important to you tell your partner, don't enter a marriage where you will later blame your partner for your unfilled dreams and nothing is worst than i could have and should have.
2006-11-16 07:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by lara 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not have a long engagement if you still want to marry eventually, just not now? You need to talk to her about when you want to marry. Please don't hold it in or you will resent it later. Recently, I attended the wedding of a family friend's daughter. Weeks before the ceremony, the groom was overheard having major second thoughts...and five weeks after the wedding he asked for a divorce.
2006-11-16 07:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by CincyJen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please! Don't be so arrogant to believe that she won't be able to go on without you! She will be fine! She deserves to know how you feel. The last thing you should do is marry her under false pretenses. Break it off! Just be honest with her, and as kind as you can be.
If you go through with this and then have children, you will be eventually putting your children through a divorce. That is not fair to anyone.
2006-11-16 07:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are doing the right thing. If you want to persue your career plans and you don't feel right in your heart, then you need to break it off before things go any further. Im sure there will be hurt feelings but these will all subside in due time.......good luck
2006-11-16 07:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋