I've been married for 41/2 yrs and she left when I was gone. She want a divorce, I don't. I have made mistakes nothing like drinking or hitting her. Like not showing enough respect and being over protective and controlling.
I admit to the mistakes I have made, she is with a another man. But she tells me that I made her happy at one time now what?
We have been apart for about 10 days I have talked to her twice. The first call was normal, the 2nd was me whining trying to get her back It hit me that she was gone. And the home filled with 41/2yrs dont help. She left alot of her belongings behind.
Is she tired of being married or does she just need sometime to think. I'm 26 she is 22 she says she never planned anything. That she just decided to leave. She means the world to me and I would do anything to try to work it out. She ask me to not ot call. The only way I have been able to get a hold of her is through one of her friends. I would like to talk to her 1on1.
2006-11-16 07:28:46 · 19 answers · asked by lostinthought 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh goodness, well the first thing I have to say about the situation is that she definitely has someone else...women don't leave unless they have something else to go to! And as long as she has someone else, someone who in her mind is "treating" her better, there is nothing you can do to get her back. And if she asked you not to call, then that is a decision you have to respect. Your calling her is not going to help and it will just push her away farther. Sorry to say, but this is a situation that only she can (in time) decide that she wants to be back with you. Give it some time (and give her some space) eventually this other guy will screw up and she will contemplate coming back to you. If she doesn't come back, then it is for the best. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you as much!
2006-11-16 07:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by ataman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you said it.. YOU make mistakes. Apparently she warned you about not showing respect and being controlling. Now, once you've ignored all those signs, you lost her. It is your fault, she will not want you back no matter how well you say you will change. She is not tired of being married she is tired of you, honestly. You didn't treat her like she needs to be treated. Let me put it this way, would you like to be treated the same way you treated her? If someone controlled you and told you what to do and when to do it, would you like it? Same with respect, you expect respect, but don't get it?How do you feel about that? Would you have left too? the situation is she's gone, and you can go to couseling and see if she will return, but if she does, you better make sure your ace is good and respectful, and not controlling or over protective. Who needs two dads?? you are her husband you need to just let her be and trust her! If she asked you not to call, RESPECT her and not call. If the only way to talk to her is through her friends, call her friend, tell her you want a meeting place to talk one on one. But if she says no, respect her decision and get the divorce.. Whether you want it or not, it's going to happen.. you should have given her what she needed.. Now some other guy is doing it. Learn from your mistakes.. Sorry this happened to you, but honestly you had it coming. Take this all to heart and REALLY think about this..
2006-11-16 15:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for what reason the marriage is over. just face it. just deal with it. the good thing is that both of you are young enough to find other peoples later on in life. time heals all wounds, so please give yourself time to grief and just go on. if she wants a divorce, let her filed the papers. it will save you $$$. if she still has belonging at your house/apartment , put them all in a box or bag and call her friends and tell them to tell her to come by the house and get them or you will just throw them away in the garage and give her a timeline to get her stuff.
the only thing you can learn from this is what you did wrong, and hopefully you will not make the same mistake with someone else.
also this might just be a fling for her. she is way young and maybe with time she might realize that she made a huge mistake, but it is then up to you after all the grief and healing wheatehr you will take her back or not, but i have a feeling she wants out.
maybe she is afraid to talk to u one on one fearing that you might change her mind and she does not want that to happen.
good luck
2006-11-16 15:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by lasalle_1986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being controlling and protective in a relationship is enough to make anyone crazy so before you try calling her back, you need to change those things about you and respect her. And those are not really things that will change overnight.
If it's not the things above that made her leave, then she's probably still 'finding herself' or maybe its quarter life crisis. who knows, but the point is, accept that she is with another man and move on.
2006-11-16 15:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by snippy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard thing to tell you, but let her go. She has already made up her mind and has already found another man. It's time for you to move on too. Hopefully you won't end up in a "yo-yo" situation where she spends her time between you and the other man. One word of caution for you too. Once you do find someone else, and you will, she might get between you and the woman you find (that happens alot 0_0) don't fall for something like that;). Best of luck to you.
2006-11-16 15:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact that it may be over. Then you can deal with it better. If you really love her you will let her go, otherwise you just want to domineer her and are not respecting her. Respect and trust are the two ingredients that hold a relationship together.
2006-11-16 15:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Everyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude she 22 you better get her back
22 for female is the most fun time.
BUT
you need to show to your self first before show to her that you will not drink anymore and not hitting. and show some respect
BUT wow she already with another man now ?? just in 10 days ??
2006-11-16 15:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by gila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...it will be hard and your heart broken but, hold your head up high and handle it like a man. Start over and dont reduce yourself to her childish ways. Stand tall and dont let it break you down. Stand strong my brother, its not the best piece of tail. Trust me, if no kids are involved, get away from her and start over. He who cares the least, wins. Then when she comes crawling back, have dirty break-up sex with her and leave her feeling like the worthless s l u t she is......Just my opinion
2006-11-16 15:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by aubreytaegan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd give her space but I wouldn't necessarily be pleased that she is with another man. A fling then a run back to you seems inappropriate to me. I don't believe in 2nd trys. You'd have a honeymoon period than all of it would start over again. On to bigger and better things and learn by your mistakes, yours and hers.
2006-11-16 15:33:30 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be having an affair and mixed up, but if you are too controlling maybe she is tired of it. You can work on that. Life is too short. Give her a little time and then try to talk.
2006-11-16 15:33:54 · answer #10 · answered by Krystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋