I am 13 years old and adopted. I was adopted when I was young and have always known I was adopted but thats all my parents told me. Well last week I found a file with everything about my adoption. I found out I was born through an act of prostitution and that my birth mom had had an abortion and miscarage before me. But also three years before I was born she also had a girl. My birth mom was 25 years old when she had me, 100 pounds, blue eyes, and had bleached blond hair. She put me up for adoption through bethany christian services but I dont know what to do now knowing all of this information because I cant tell my parents I know and I feel horrible knowing that my mom was a prostitute but still want to meet her. I could not find her name in any of the reports though. Does anyone have any basic advice on things I can do now having this sort of burden that none of my friendz will be able to relate to?
2006-11-16 06:52:18 · 12 answers · asked by Sleeping Beauty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ouch..really sorry to hear that...that would be a really hard thing to deal with..but i guess i wouldnt know..my mom died 5 yrs ago and im almost 18...
2006-11-16 06:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by nawti969 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what your mom was or did in the past doesn't change the person your growing up to be. Your not a shadow of some1 else you have your own identity and standards. Your real mom did what was best for you . You should talk to your adoptive parents and let them know you found the information that way if you have any questions they can help you sort through it as best they can thats what they are there for to be there for you thats the reason why they adopted you to take care of you, that means emotionally and physically they are special people and you should just talk to them and let them help you through it . Thats probably the reason why they didn't want to bring it up to you and give you the information because they didn't know how you would handle it but now you've done the hard part and found the info yourself now they can do what parents do best and talk to you about it and try to answer questions. Good Luck :)
2006-11-16 07:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted and met my birth mom when I was 25. She wasn't a prostitute but she was a lesbian! This didn't bother me, I was just glad to finally meet her. It was a let down because I thought I would feel an instant connection to her which I didn't. But I am still glad I met her.
Unless you can talk to your adoptive parents and they will be supportive, you will have to wait until you are 18. When you turn 18 you may be able to get a copy of your "real" birth certificate depending on what state you live in. I live in Missouri and I had to hire a 3rd party who had to find my birth parents and get their permission to give me their information.
The best piece of advice I can give you is that who you are has more to do with your adoptive parents than you think and don't be disappointed if you don't find what you are looking for when you meet your mom. It doesn't matter that your mom was a prostitute. That doesn't mean she is a bad person. She loved you enough to give you a better life than you would have had with her. It also doesn't mean you have bad "genes". You can't know all of the circumstances on why she made this choice. Anyway, I am rambling but I definitely know what it feels like to be in your position.
Good luck with your search!
2006-11-16 06:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Nunya 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your parents that you've found this information. You're old enough to know this stuff but not old enough to really handle it well. That's the truth. So let them know, let them get angry if they want to, but you have a right to know where you came from and the curiousity is completly normal.
As far as finding your Birth Mom, I don't really see a point there. I mean, she did the absolute best thing she could with you. She's most likely a drug addict and won't be happy to see you. You're a reminder of her failures and problems. Be thankful for the family that took you in and has loved you like crazy all these years. You are blessed whether you think so or not.
2006-11-16 06:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, do not judge your biological mom. You don't know why she did what she did. She may have turned to prostitution out of necessity......who knows. Anyway, the past is the past and it is no reflection on you. You just hold your head high and be proud of the fact that she loved you enough to put you up for adoption to give you a better life than she could.........hope all works out for you
2006-11-16 07:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok shall we not beat about the bush right here. The act of being pregnant and giving delivery is area of nature. Its now puzzling as many will inform you and the actual shown actuality that we human beings are fantastically emotional would not help positioned the mechanics of the project into position. after I listen those words "I spent hours, no days in labour giving delivery." I listen "emotional blackmail". Does that propose there could be some particular link and also you should then not understand the unconditional love a ascertain has? No.look at it this way, even as a ascertain states that they gave delivery and could be honoured indirectly, ie praised for providing you with life, then the single authentic and consistent actuality is disregarded thoroughly. no count number what you do, benefit or who you develop into. the really authentic out come for any present of delivery is for particular lack of life.
2016-11-24 22:53:34 · answer #6 · answered by knaus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they do hide the name to protect the mothers rights. so you will have to confront the adoptive parents or wait until you can hire an attorney. since you know so much i would confront your parents NOW. if they did not want you to know they would have kept it put away as in out of sight. I'm glad you found the information. people can change, I'm not trying to build up your hopes i feel everyone should know their parents. its not like you will hate your adoptive parents.maybe. it was the best for you at that time in your moms life, of coarse it was.if, you decide to ask?? reassure the adoptive parents you love them that you want to know and eventually you will.
2006-11-16 07:02:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what you do is be glad that your mom knew that she was not in any position to be a good mother and turned you over for adoption. you were given a fresh chance to have a good life. try not to judge her, some people are not meant to be parents, others it just isn't the right time. learn from her mistakes, and be better. if you want to meet her, i support that, just put behind you what she did for a living and keep in mind that even good people can do bad things.... love yourself and the family that reaised you.
2006-11-16 06:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by justpeachy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A good friend of mine is adopted and has been putting himself through hell trying to talk to his real mother. My advice to you is find a way to get past it. Your adopted parents are the ones who matter, they are the people who made all the sacrifices. The only sacrifice your real mother made was not to abort you.
2006-11-16 06:55:59 · answer #9 · answered by barter256 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt talk to the ***** my mom wasnt a prostitute but she abandoned me when i was 1 month old i was born here and she took me to my gmas house in el salvador when i was just 1 month i met her when i was 9 i regret ever meeting her and i know you want to meet her but its probably not a good idea youll probably get your feelings hurt i know i did
2006-11-16 09:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋