If one feels dead inside and hasn't been intimate in years, is it possible to force it so the other person doesn't leave the family? Can't raise kids alone... can't force myself to feel what I should. What do I do? I hate feeling so evil and selfish. Anyone been through anything similar? There's not enough alcohol in the world to numb me anymore.
2006-11-16 06:50:27 · 9 answers · asked by mollydolly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you need jesus
2006-11-16 06:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you even talked to yor spouse about this... Does he/or she even know how you feel. Be hoest with yur spouse. Kid's can never be an excuse to maintain a bad relationship.
As non-traditional as it may seem, if you love your spouse and are willing to look outside the box, and your spouse loves you and wants to stay with you too then let him know that he or she might find the intimacy needed elsewhere and long as there is complete honesty between the two of you about it. but if you are just sticking together for the kids, let him go, and allow him to move on.
The important thing, outside of the intimacy, is whether you still love him/her or not. If you do, love him/her then work something out, if you don't end it now.
You never once mentioned that it was anything the spouse did to make you feel that way. If that's true, then before you do anything, have yourself checked out with an endocrenologist to make sure this is not just a homone imbalance. Low testerone in both men and women have the same effect that you describe and can be easily treated.
If you agree that your spouse should look for the intimacy that he/she needs elsewhere then email me (address on Answers profile) and I will help you with some resources that may be available to you to work things out safely and without secrets between the two of you.
But the effort to figure out what your really want is on your sholders now. Once you know what you want, what to do will fall into place with a little help.
2006-11-16 15:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well MollyDoll I am no relationship expert or anything but will tell you one thing, alcohol will certainly not help you with your problem and may actually increase it. And I do not believe that you can force anyone to do anything especially emotionally. The old saying "if it doesn't come naturally leave it" makes a lot of sense. Have you considered marriage and/or relationship counseling either with or without your mate joining you. You may find that they have suggestions as to what may help to salvage your relationship. Best of luck with this problem.
2006-11-16 15:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the alcohol's not helping so maybe you need to kick that habit pretty quickly.
It sounds like you need personal counseling as well as marital counseling and some time. If you show your spouse that you're at least working towards a better life, he'll stay and help you. But you need help. If you have no intention of making your life better, you might as well let him go.
2006-11-16 14:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can raise kids alone. it is possible. that i can promise you. it's hard, but it can be done. why would you surround your children is such a loveless enviorment? you can't force affection or love. no matter how much you try to lie to yourself.
2006-11-16 14:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds pretty sad.... you need to talk to a professional hun
If I felt all those things , I would consider it depression too that I was going thru.
2006-11-16 14:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to.
2006-11-16 14:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by kayla0428 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go out on the corner and hook it babe. Maybe you can't get what you want, but you get what you need...
2006-11-16 14:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by Flex 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
antthing is possible
2006-11-16 14:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by todd s 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋