when it comes to do something i perfer to do it myself no help from a 3rd party boyfriend, parents, who ever...
I think it is because i have always been a loner! I could get along find with out anyone around! But I love my partner very much and i want to be with him 24/7 minus work.
we do stuff together like clean house and stuff!
I'm not sure if i'm just picky or it's me being a loner! but it's best if i say you get one room i'll get another then we clean!
that's fine when we do that! but when we try to clean the same room together.. I get frustrated! and just wish he would get out of my way sometimes!
I do thinks in a way that makes things FUN for me! no i'm not trying to be practicail or logical like he would I do it so i keep intrest!
how ever i do that i don't need to be told how else to do or a better way!
is it just selfish of me not to want anyones "help" or for me just to do it myself!
I
2006-11-16 06:22:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm sure some of a control freak thing is there! good point!
but it's more of someone getting in my way!eg: i'm doing dishes someone stands in my path from the stove to the sink i have to go around or ask them to move!
2006-11-16 06:32:40 · update #1
I agree people do need help even i do but i'm not shy i'll ask when i need it!
2006-11-16 07:10:59 · update #2
you sound just like me. I can't do anything if there is another person in the room.
I know how I am. If there is something to be done and someone else in the household is trying to help I just stop and walk away cause I know I can't handle it. My husband knows my 'look'. He knows when to leave and just let me do what I am doing.
Please get the book 'party of one' by anneli rufus or at least look it up on the web. It will do wonders for how you look at yourself as a loner. Personally it's something I never would change about myself. With every passing moment I embrace it more and more as I become more and more myself. I become more and more at peace too.
2006-11-16 09:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by kardea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We loners are a rare breed. Only you can determine if the highs of a relationship are worth the lows when your independence is sacrificed.
Maybe you'll get lucky and find a compatible soulmate who values their space as much as you do yours. Good luck and I mean it.
People can call me weird and selfish, but I love my solitude and not having to deal with other's hidden agendas.
Edit on your edit: Your not selfish or a loner, merely vapid. You need to work on your flexibility. For you, a couple of deep breaths will probably do it in times of stress.
2006-11-16 14:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by noils 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are selfish. Apparently you must think you are in a relationship all by yourself. You somehow chose to be a loner because of your preferences that leads to being alone. Are you even considering your partner's feelings at all? This is not what love is all about. It's a partnership filled with unconditional love. If you feel that you don't need any help why are you in a relationship? Everybody needs help sometimes in their lives, even you. You two need to talk about your relationship and where is it headed. Go out, have fun and enjoy life without all that nonsense, it's not that serious.
2006-11-16 14:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
NOOOOOOOOOOO not weird I wouldn't call that loner....More independent! But make sure you practice what you preach and respect his space or others or yes that appears controlling!
It's part of who you are don't lose that. There's that old saying ....want something done do it yourself! There's no disappointments that way!
2006-11-16 14:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way. If you do it, you know you're going to do it right. Not right, but the way you like it. I think it's better just to do it yourself. In the end you're never happy about the way the other person did it anyway. Which ends up frusterating yourself, or getting irritable. :o)
2006-11-16 14:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Maryjane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not selfish at all - you have your ways of doing things & it's as simple as that!
imo - you must have alone time - everyone needs space and time for their own thoughts - even when you clean!
i wouldn't call u a loaner - i'd call u an independent & strong female - be proud!
2006-11-16 14:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by CoronaGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have a control issue...I don't mean that in a bad way I don't really know you..but if you want to make friends there is an old saying...you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar...
2006-11-16 14:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋