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My dear friend, who is such a lovely person is having awful trouble with her husband, he has a huge drink problem and when he's been drinking is very verbally nasty to her, she's broken hearted as he told her he wouldn't care if he went home and caught her in bed with another man. She keeps asking me whether I think he meant it. Help please....

2006-11-16 05:52:36 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

She needs to give him a little "shock therapy" by packing her stuff and leaving him.

Verbal abuse has the potential to escalate to physical abuse, especially when there is alcohol involved.

2006-11-16 05:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0 0

Drunks will say anything. I have a father who is an alcholic and says things he does not mean. It all depends on how he is befor he drinks and after he drinks. Whats his statues befor he drinks? She shouldd look into some counseling or have a male figure who is close to he and her both talk to him. Its kinda like a one on one thing. Males are hard to break down but throw someone who is close to him in there and hell talk. I say that because allthough he want talk about his drinking problem to her he might to someone who knows all about it or is very close. If things stay the same then maybe she should seperate for awhile. Appcence makes the heart grow fonder and he will come too. Drinking is a bad problem in todays society and it is hard to stop. I wish the best of luck to your friend. Sorry if this isnt helpful.

2006-11-16 13:58:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Unfortunately, there are too many people in the world who abuse with themselves and other peoples feelings for them.
Tell your friend to consult someone professional in the medical field or/and other authorities.
There is a real treat that her husband may become violent towards her.
She should talk with him, if possible, and clear any reasons for his alcoholism and inner problems he has.
Tell her to consider her situation and make a choice. Because she must choose whether she wants to live with a person who tortures her emotionally and psychologically or have a better life without him.
She should not tolerate this passively and serve as a trash can for his negative behaviour.

2006-11-16 14:40:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ateviel 3 · 0 0

As I call it....Alcohol is the best truth serum! Also having grown up in a house where my step-dad was physically and mentally abusive to my mom and verbally abusive to me.....it will not change! I begged my mom that if she would leave him or kick him out of the house (she owned the house) that I would do whatever I had to just to get him away from us.

Please tell your friend that she needs to leave him. It doesn't matter if he promises to go to meetings or stop....he wont do it unless he wants to do for himself. Even then she needs to leave and let him do it on his own. No one, man or woman, should have to deal with an alcoholic.

2006-11-16 14:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0 0

omg is it me? i am in that same situation my husband is a drinker and it is getting worse he is not a nice person when he drinks never hits me but sometimes it wouldnt hurt any worse if he did then how he hurts me with his mouth.. a few yrs ago one of my husbands friends started to flirt with me i told my husband and he said so i said do you realize that he actualy want to f me? and he told me to go for it that it would probably be the best i have had in years... i didnt and needles to say that after he was sober and the issue came up he said no he couldnt stand the thought of another man touching me... its all the alcohol and it will NOT get any better all the promises and all the i will do betters never work they are just to get you off his back for a few days.. i am srry she is going through this i am getting ready to make my h choose either his family or the booze and even though i know i cant make him quit i also know i cant sit here and wait until he decides to quit either.. tell your friend that it really doesnt matter if he meant what he said or not things are not going to change until she changes herself tell her to go to a alanon meeting they are everywhere and free and confidential

2006-11-16 14:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by momoftwobestkids 3 · 0 0

That's probably just the drink talking, although sometimes they say drink lowers your inhibitions so what he's saying he might feel. Terrible situation. If he doesn't stop drinking then she should leave, they need counselling definitely. She just needs good friends like you to help her through, it must be really difficult for her and I hope they sort it out!

2006-11-16 14:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jo_Diva 4 · 0 0

When a husband verbally abuses his spouse that is like hitting her still. It is nasty and shouldn;t be reckoned with. he needs help and I would suggest to her that she get help for her husband quickly before the verbal abuse leads to death!

2006-11-16 13:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Whats her address !

And I did not say another man I said "man I would love to catch you in bed with a woman"

2006-11-16 14:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by simon1840i 2 · 0 0

i am in the exact same possition with my father sometimes when hes drunk and my mom wont get him more vodka he slaps her. I dint think your freinds hubby ment it. my father has told my mother so many times that he was going to leave her and then when he's not drunk any more he comes crawling back to her bagging for forgivness.

2006-11-16 13:58:19 · answer #9 · answered by melnchuks 1 · 0 0

like people always say. When you drink the truth comes out.

I think it's time to considering a divorce

2006-11-16 13:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie K 3 · 1 0

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