What can I do to make my husband pay more attention to me?

Question

9 years so far...

I pay attention to him. He is very unaffectionate and always has been. I am always the aggressor. He never does any 4play. He is 11 years older than me. I am 26 he is 37. Is he just getting older and not wanting sex because of that?

I am not over weight. I do not nag. I work every day and I am the bread winner for the most part. I go to school and take care of my kids and house. I love him unconditionally. Beer belly and all.

I have spoke with him about this several times!

He lives in my house. I have tried to make him leave before..he refuses. I am in law enforcement and I do not want to involve the police. Plus I love him and dont want to leave him..I just want what I had the first year we were together.

Answer 1

u said beer belly is he an alcoholic? because if he is or drinks heavy that is the problem people who drink are very one sided and its not your side it all about themselves.. sounds to me like he has it made you are doing everything and he does nothing and gets away with it... its time for you to put your foot down girl make a list of what you want from him give him a time limit to comply with at least most of what you want (as long as its reasonable)and if he doesnt then tell him his free ride is over and kick him to the curb. on the list things like him cleaning the house or taking you out to dinner and a movie one time per week , he takes the kids here and there ect..
what is with everyone telling you that you need to do things different? she does not need to pay more attention to him or give him oral sex he is being a jerk not her she is not doing anything wrong except letting him get a free ride and trust me thats enough

Answer 2

Your husband has drifted away from the hot love eh! It looks like he has already made up his mind that "Oh well, same ole same ole, I'm tired of this woman, she isn;t that great in bed and I just don't get off anymore with her like I did when we first met and married".
Sound familiar????
That is a result of a selfish unfit Man that chooses to be a child instead of a Man and realize what he really has at home instead of putting a figure on everything from sex to behavior and the Woman bathes in the bad end of the marriage as a result.
The Woman is fine and beautiful...it's the Man that needs an adjustment in attitude and his feelings towards his significant other (wife).
He will never succeed in any marriage if he chooses to leave or stay, he must rid his problem of selffish behavior and accept the things he cannot change, but drive to change things to make it better for him and his spouse otherwise, she will kick his butt to the curb and let the Dogs have him while she dines out with a real Man that knows how to treat a lady and probably be better in bed too....END OF STORY

Answer 3

Sometimes it's more than just being physical. Men want the same thing that women want....a friend. And you can do this by actively listening to him. Ask him how his day went and when he tells you, listen objectively. Don't give any opinions or judgment's...just listen. And you can do this non-verbally too by nodding your head and saying "uh-huh" or "I can see why that bothered you" or "That's great honey!" You have been with him long enough to know what his moods are like. If you are talking about being more intimate, then wear more lingerie. My husband and I have children so I wear either a sexy low-cut top or nightgown to bed every night and my husband loves it! Another thing my husband and I do is send love e-mails to each other throughout the day so when we get home from work (you can do this with phone sex too) we are all over each other. We also kiss each other EVERY time we depart...whether it be off to work or when we get home from work. I can relate about not getting attention from my husband, but what I have realized is just his personality...it's nothing personal. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I would talk to him about it. He may not even realize it's bothering you this much. Guys aren't mind readers you know. Just sit him down and tell him how you been feeling. Don't say it in a attacking way because that might upset him and make the situation worser. But say it in a loving way. Then suggest maybe going somewhere for a romantic weekend. Spark the flames again.

Answer 5

A relationship is a two way road. You need to point out to him that you're in need of more attention and also, be prepared to give him more attention. Having a good talk with your husband and letting him in on how you feel is the most important issue in your current relationship.

Answer 6

Me and my wife mix things up and do things unexpectedly. When two people have been married for awhile, seems like the spark kinda dies out cause they know each other, inside and out. Try taking off for an over nighter somewhere, take very little to wear, and have a romantic time.

Try having candle light diner when he gets home, do the unexpected, slip into the shower with him and wash his back. Hey, LIFE is too short to let something like a relationship between two people die of natural causes. Its too easy to spice things up, make it interesting.

My wife and I take short, two to three day vacations each year, and surprise trips at various times. Last trip, I called up on her cell phone, and propositioned her. Picked her up, went out to eat, went to a really nice hotel with a jacuzzi tub, and spent a very romantic night.

Get your imagination flowing and make it happen.

Answer 7

Do the opposite especially in bed. Be the aggressor, take him on the couch or drop a spoon at dinner and play with him under the table.

Answer 8

Girl, I divorced mine 4 that.
Look a man that really loves a woman understands that you need to be taken care of. The same way you pay attention to him, you cater to him, you clean and do all that ****. He has to do the same for you. A man who understands this matter, cares for his wife and don't have to be told to do something for his wife. My current lover is so attentive, and I discover that when someone is really interested they do it regardless.

To start off, just tell him. "look I think you need to pay more attention to me baby, I want you to caress me and make love to me and be close to me sometimes" If he don't act on this, is because he don't care, or hes probably cheating. Then you just
leave his *** and find someone better, Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

Is he depressed? Sometimes depression cuts off sex drive...is he taking any meds??? Some have side affects ....

There is always the possibility that he just doesn't want it as often as you do. If that's the case, you'll have to accept things or find someone else.

Answer 10

I've given this advice before because it worked for me.

Jacuzzi suite. Spend the weekend naked (except for a brief trip to a nice restaraunt) reminding each other of how fun sex can be.