He says he is but i always have the feeling that he isn't. He has a crazy work schedule and works a lot of nights. We have a 9 month old son that also takes a lot of time. He rarely comes on to me and i am the one that has to initiate any romance. Sometimes i feel like he would be happy if we never did it again. We had problems in the past about porn so i thought that when he stopped that he would pay more attention to me in the bedroom. He has stopped looking at porn (that i know of) but his attention level has not seemed to rise. Should i just accept that he might have a low sex drive and initiate it all the time so i can get some, or should i be worried that he is not that into me anymore. Like i said, he says he loves me and that he is attracted to me, but i guess he does not show it as much as i would like. I have tried talking to him about it and he just denies it and tells me it is all in my head or he is tired from working nights and when he goes back on days it will be different, but it never is.
2006-11-16 05:49:20 · 9 answers · asked by micah z 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry to hear that things are not "bumping" in the bedroom like you would like... with crazy work schedules and a new baby he might be exhausted ( and as a mom I know you are too), he might have something on his mind that is worrying him, he might be depressed about something.
If he tells you he loves you and that he still finds you attractive then unless he has ever lied to you in the past I would take him at his word. maybe you 2 really need to have a heart to heart about things and then get AWAY... get someone you trust to take the baby for a weekend, go to a motel, and do all that stuff you did to get the baby in the first place. LOL
Real love is a rare gem.. if you have it, hold on to it and fight to keep it with everything you got .
2006-11-16 05:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by Min 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are describing a conditions known as Inhibited sexual desire (ISD). The person with ISD fails to initiate or respond to their partner's desire for sexual activity.
ISD is a very common sexual disorder. The most common cause of ISD seems to be relationship problems wherein one partner does not feel emotionally intimate or close to their mate.
Communication problems, health problems such as depression, insomnia, excessive stress.
Treatment is required by the professional therapist and it depends on the eliminating causes listed above.
2006-11-16 14:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a 9 month old baby, your husband works a lot and you're both probably very tired. He says he loves you and is attracted to you. Let it go. Stop your negative thinking and be a happy, affectionate, loving wife. Change your attitude and go with the thought that you have a hardworking husband who is exhausting himself to provide for his family and he loves you. Appreciate him. Respect him. Believe in him. Rub his back and hug him.
2006-11-16 13:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make yourself more attractive, maybe change your hair style or something he can see there is something different on you. Or maybe both of you are very tired (he has lots of jobs and you have been busy with your son), so...how about take a vacation for a week and ask your mother or his mother to take care of your child...?
2006-11-16 14:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by friendship 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to change him just continue to change yourself, Coming home to my wife standing in the buff always helps me, or a surprise visit to my evening shower is a nice wake up call. Have fun.
2006-11-16 13:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by True101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should concentrate on your own life, like go to gym, see your friends for a coffe, go out sometimes wearing something sexy. When he see other people want you he will too :)
2006-11-16 13:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him what he's missing out on. If that don't work, he's not missing anything because he's getting it elswhere.
2006-11-16 14:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by Rob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he gets home tonight be naked wrapped in plastic wrap and see what happens....
2006-11-16 13:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by kiti4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has another outlet for his sexual cravings.
2006-11-16 13:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by Cerebal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋