I was reading through some of the post and I got a question about child support and fairness?

Question

How many of you feel that the court system is fair when it comes to child support? I am a firm believer that a man should take care of his child/children but I am curious to find out what many of you think. I will use my example based my kids (I have 3 in my current marriage and a older son in Texas). State of Missouri uses the a formula that takes into consideration the difference in incomes between the divorcing parties, overnight visits, and insurance and tuitions paid. So I have to pay 825 for the three in my marriage according to the formula. However the one child I have in Texas is more 335. I have been blessed to be able to take care of my kids but it is a burden at times. So what do you think?? Do you feel the courts over charge when it comes to support?? Do you feel that it is not enough??? Give examples if you can??

Wow you ladies got me wrong. First I didn't find out about my son in Texas until he was five years old (My second year of marriage) never knew anything about him. Second my wife walked out on the marriage, not me. That was not the intent of this question. I just wanted opinions on child support. Some of you all are really bitter.

Answer 1

First of all if you pay child support in Texas firm warning KEEP all pay stubs and reciepts because trust in the long run they will find a reason to overcharge you with interest and they also take their time processing the payments so keep great records because when filing for your taxes they will red flag it and guess what if you cannot prove you arent behind on payments your ex may or may not get your taxes maybe the state of Texas may keep it saying that you owe them,been there and done that my child passed away while I worked for the ags office in Tx. they swore her father owed money to the state which he didn't in fact he owed it to my child which I had to fight them for weeks proving to them that my child was never on any state type of assistance ever and finally the money was released to me AFTER I paid my childs final expenses out of pocket,now back to your issue yes there are times when state child support agencies can be unfair it's largely due to the fact that many times they are trying to recoup money owed to the state and so some tend to not have the childrens best interest in mind,you can never put a price tag on how much it cost to provide for your child but in a state like Texas especially the small towns where the cost of living is moderate or low then theres no reason why they would make child support so high that it puts the non custodial parent below the poverty level and the thing that should also be considered is the amount of children and income the non custodial parent has so that the children will all be provided for and that non cust. parent is also not living in or below the poverty level.With all of this being said I applaud you for being a stand up type of guy and even though you may not have much money left you do provide for your children.Now when you have a non custodial parent who works and makes plenty of money and says he cannot afford to pay 20 dollars a week for two children thats when I feel that a child is being let down especially when money is owed to the state on behalf of that child.

Also may I add that in my state child support is based on both parents income,the amount of parenting time and if the children are of school age the custodial parent if he or she refuses to get a job their income (the assumed amount of income if they were employed) would be imputed which is a good thing so not all women are just waiting on a hand out from the father of their child some actually work to help provide for the child or children as well as the non custodial parent.

Answer 2

Child support is based on the policy that parents are obligated to pay for the support of their children, even when the children are not living with both biological parents. Even when you have limited visitation rights or no rights at all.
n very few jurisdictions the privilege of visitation (or access) is tied to child support. If the custodial parent refuses to allow the non-custodial parent visitation with the child, the non-custodial parent can petition the court to temporarily stop support payments. In most jurisdictions the two rights and obligations are completely separate and individually enforceable as some jurisdictions view the withholding of support as punishing the child, not the parent, and in such cases the court may order additional visitation to the non-custodial parent. Visitation is a limited form of custody. In the United States, the federal government requires all states to have guideline calculations that can be verified and certified. These are usually computer programs based upon certain financial information including, earnings, visitation, taxes, insurance costs and several other factors.

Answer 3

I think child support is a small price to pay for walking away from your kids and marriage. You pay $335 a month for the privilege of living with another woman and creating 3 more kids. Maybe if the consequences were higher, people would reconsider their actions more carefully. You pay in dollars, but your Texas son has an absent father who is busy with 3 other kids. He's paying the biggest price. I'm sure he feels "blessed" when he visits his own dad, and gets a phone call.

Answer 4

I live in La, and my ex only has to pay about 280 a month for our son, which I have only received about half of this for the couple of months I did get it, anyway, this is nothing compared to what it takes each month to shelter, feed, dress, and pay child care while I work. I think sometimes if the absent parent took into consideration what the custodial parent spends each month to raise and care for their child they wouldn't think it was so bad. They would be spending a lot more if the child was in their care. Also in my case, the father moved out of state and no longer sees our son, so he doesn't even care for him every other weekend. All in all I think the formula used is as close to being "fair" as they could get, and I will never complain about what I get being too little, I am happy for the little help I do get even if the state makes it happen. It should never be a "burden" to take care of your child.

In reference to below...
..myself, my sister and brother were all raised by a single father after my mother left....she never paid any kind of support, or sent any birthday, christmas presents, my father did not take her to court to try to get support, but I can see how the state would be more leniant on a woman...which I think is very, very sad, single fathers don't get enough credit I think...and good for you for being a good parent....your gender has no basis on your parenting skills or love for your children and you are a great example of that


..a man or woman for that matter can sign over their parental rights and have no responsibility for a child......and yes it is sad that some women would get pregnant for monetary gain....which I don't understand unless the father is just very wealthy, child support is not going to make you rich, birth control is not only the womans responsibility....men should also be responsibile for themselves

Answer 5

No the courts don't over charge, try having your children live with you and see how much more money you would be shelling out for their care. Child support is just a drop in the bucket compared to having a child live with you. It means more power, water, food, clothing, school supplies, medical expenses, allowance, entertainment, sports, extracurricular activities, things they want, I could go on and on, so see what the non custodial parent pays isn't very much when you look at all the custodial parent pays out.

Answer 6

I am a single father with sole custody of my two daughters. Here is my small experience; with me the courts were very fair, and my attorney did an awesome job. Now my problem is that I am finding it hard to enforce child support payments. My ex-wife is in arrears of $18.000.00+ not to include the court cost and all my attorney fees she was ordered to pay. She has no interest in the kids and we have survived without her money and with the Grace Of God, we will continue to do so. The run around I have encountered is that no one really wants to put a woman away for non-payment of child support. I live in TX and my ex lives in AZ. The sad thing is when birthdays and holidays come around, they get nothing from my ex, and when I finally find her new employment (for ordered wage garnishment) she quits. But I just needed to vent, thanks. Living happy with my wonderful and beautiful daughters. Thank God.

Answer 7

I don't think that what you are paying is too much. If you add it together and divide by 4, you are only paying $290 per child. Now, I know that it takes MUCH more than $290 a month to provide for a child.

In your situation, if paying that amount is becoming a burden, then you can always petition the court for a modification. But keep paying for your babies.

Answer 8

Personally, I think that the child support system is unfair to men, especially unmarried men. There are a lot of women out there who will get pregnant just to trap a guy and there is no way to prove it in a court. All she has to do is lie about being on birth control, and he's a money bag for her and her kid. I think there needs to be changes. I think that the man should be given the chance to sign papers to back out of parenthood, so that he has a decision on whether to be a parent or not, just like a woman does. Since he has no say in what she does with her body, then he should be given the chance to make a decision too. I bet that would cut down on the amount of children being born to young, unwed mothers, and that women would be more careful with their birth control methods

IN response to Laney above: A man cannot sign over parental rights arbitrarily, the courts won't let him. The only way to do that would be if the mother agrees to let him relenquish all parental rights, which seldom happens. And women get pregnant to trap the MAN as well as money, so it doesn't have to be a wealthy man. It happens all the time! Yes, men should also be responsible for their own birth control, not just women. But men don't have a say in whether or not they get to be a parent. It's the women's choice only. (what if she doesn't want a kid and he does? the other way around) I'm just saying that he should have equal rights without infringing on hers. It wouldn't be perfect, but it would be more fair to him.

Answer 9

If I understand, you have three kids in your current marriage.

So all you have to do is write a check for $335 a month? I think you should count your lucky stars.

My guess is that, whether you have one kid or three, there are some basic costs, such as living space, transportation, and utilities, that cannot get any lower. After that, additional children's costs will primarily be food and clothing.

Answer 10

I am in TX and from my experience they took into consideration his debt amount....as in they calculate your support based on your disposable income. now they can take up to 25% of your income for 1 child...but in my case they took it based on his disposable income. There were times he quit a job to get a lesser one so he wouldn't have to pay more...so at one point he was paying less than $300/mo for TWO kids. when our divorce started he was paying $660/mo now we are back up and he pays $500/mo as of now.

For ex last year: I paid $100 for health insur, about $1000 for daycare (that was 3days a wk for after school only care..not 5days), $400 in rent to my mom (i live at home) $ 200/mo for auto insur and phone, $300 for my car....this does not include anything else they may need as for clothes and such....i make a few hundred less than that...so you tell me...is the $500/mo fair...i don't think so...but I make do and keep going. this is why now i am on assistance and pay way less for insur and daycare...so that has helped now.