My sister called today and while we were talking she out of the blue said, " I told Jim (her husband) and the kids that we might be going down there for Christmas.." I said "you mean here?" and she said, "Well you know the kids have a really long Christmas break." Excuse me? Did I miss something..like the part where I invite you to my house for Christmas??
She just invited herself without asking if it's okay with me and my husband. She didn't say when or for how long or anything and apparently she and her husband are making plans...????
My husband and are having hard year and wanted to spend time together this year. This has never been an issue before since my husband is in the military and we've been overseas since 1995.
How can I say nicely that I'd rather she visit at a different time and that she ask about that specific time and make sure it's okay for us??? It's so annoying because I feel like I have to be the bad guy.
Frustrated!
2006-11-16 05:46:15 · 15 answers · asked by cyndi b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are most certainly not be the bad guy in this situation. That is a lot to ask regardless of what time of year it is let alone Christmas. She is your sister so you should feel very comfortable informing her of the situation at present. Be polite but steadfast and let her know that this isn't a good time for you to host her and her family. Also let her know of the problems that you and yours are facing at present, and I hope that she will understand without getting her nose out of joint. Best of luck with this situation and have a joyful holiday with your husband.
2006-11-16 05:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you wrote here. You have had a difficult year and you and your husband want to spend time alone because you have both been overseas. Then invite her for another visit, maybe Easter and be very specific about the dates. From __ to __.
There is nothing wrong with telling her that Christmas won't work for you this year. She should understand your situation. If not, she is dead wrong.
2006-11-16 05:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt there's any way to come out of this without possibly being a bad guy since she seems kinda hard-headed.
Maybe she thought she was being "family focused" by planning a trip to come see you if you have been overseas for so long.
Just let her know as nice as you can that while you would love to spend some time with her and her family, right now is just not a good time. You are still getting settled into being home, but would love to discuss with her when a good time would be for them to plan a trip to see you.
That hopefully covers your bases (planning their trip and not getting in on your vacation time).
I know it's hard to turn down family, but it sounds like you need to put yourself first.
2006-11-16 05:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by teel2624 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said she said Might be going down there? Just call her TODAY and tell her that you already made your plans for Christmas, and they do not include her family.Tell her that you'll get back with her when you can plan a family get together.She probably thought that you two have spent a lot of holidays away and actually want family around for this one...she's your sister, she will take what you tell her to heart, just tell her soon......
2006-11-16 06:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be my response.. " Oh I do wish that you had brought this up earlier, Herman (or you can use your husbands real name. LOL) and I have decided that since it has been such a rough year we are actually going to be spending the holidays alone. We would love to see you tho, maybe we can plan a family get together over spring break?" if she gets mad, well that is something you might have to accept, family or not in my opinionit is rude to invite yourself anywhere.
2006-11-16 05:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Min 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why might want to she smash each and every thing? She has lost her closest kinfolk and love of her existence and purely doesn't favor to be on my own for Christmas and that i won't be able to blame her! If he's the single, her being there could haven't any effect in besides! Have a heart!
2016-11-29 04:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can simply tell her that Christmas is not a good time for a visit. People can't really invite themselves over without your permission, so don't go along with it. Keep your explanation short and simple and that way she can't try to wear you down. Just simply tell her that it is not do-able this year.
2006-11-16 05:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her but dont be rude about it. You know how family can be sometime. Just explain to her that you want to spend time with your husband and cannot handle a buch of freeloaders inviting themselves over at the moment. Good luck.
2006-11-16 06:01:40 · answer #8 · answered by flushing06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel!! Just tell her that she can come visit, but x-mas eve and day are already filled up. Offer for her to come after x-mas for a new years celebration. Dont feel that you have to be the bad guy,... shes being the bad one for inviting herself.
2006-11-16 05:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by pebbles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, from a veteran, thanks to you and your husband, for what he does, and for your support in that.
Secondly, be honest with your sister. Call her back and tell her that you discussed it together, and both feel that in light of the tough year, we'd like to spend this holiday together and concentrate on each other. Tell her you know she understands and that you'd like to get together soon after the holidays.
I wish you well.
2006-11-16 05:55:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋