How to leave when you rely finiancially??on that person??

Question

My husband and i have been married almost a year and dated 6 months before marrying.We have a 3 month old daughter together. But our relationship is not going well and has not for a while he has a very bad temper and can be verbally abusive. I just found out also from his mother that he when he was younger he was put in( juvy) was a drug dealer , a stole car/parts and was a memeber of Crypts?some sort of gang i think.He has also gone for days without reason causing fights .Recently the police came to the house looking for him because they have reopened and investigation on a case (Homicide).I graduated from college last year with a Business major and Communication minor but have never worked because of the baby.?

I come from a pretty well off family and have never worked at all.? I have no idea how to get a job?

Parents hated him from the start he held it over my head that i came from money and on one occasion pinned me to a wall and shoved me.

Answer 1

If you still have contact with family members, seek help from them until you can get a job. With your education, getting a job shouldn't be very difficult. If you are estranged from your family for some reason, there are shelters for battered(emotional and/or physical) women in all towns. They will provide temporary shelter for you and your child, assist you to find a job and child care, and provide counseling services as needed. If necessary will also assist with a restraining order if you fear your husbands reaction to your leaving. You have options available to you and don't have to stay in an abusive relationship.

Answer 2

Start looking for a job! It is never a good idea to rely on someone else entirely. Even if you are in a happy marriage, you are taking a risk when you do that.

Now as for your marriage. You shouldn't hold his past against him. People change! However, if he is being verbally abusive to you, that needs to be addressed. I would suggest counceling before you think about leaving him. Divorce should ALWAYS be your last option. He may need help working through the mistakes he's made in that past. Sometimes when we feel bad or overwhelmed by our own bad choices, it comes out verbally towards the ones we love the most. He is your husband, try to work with him and be there to help him through it.

If, after counceling, you are still feeling like it is hopeless, then look into other options. By that time, hopefully you will have a way of supporting you and your child. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Men suck sometimes and this happens to be one of those times.

If I were in your situation I would RUN---FAST!!!

You can't jeopardize your baby by staying in an abusive relationship. It has been my experience that if he is abusive toward you, he will evenutally become abusive toward the baby.

If your family is well off, check with them. Maybe they'll help you find a way out. Daycare is a tough issue. I hated putting my children in daycare, but you know--you do what you have to do. Go to your local unemployment office and ask them how to start looking for a job. You'll get the help you need there and hopefully, from your family.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Go to the employment office and get a job and sign up for child care. Have things in place, before you leave, and preferably in another city. Don't tell him where you are, because your leaving will make him feel a loss of power and make him act worse. If you have a joint account, transfer the money in it to an account in your name. The Cripps are a nationwide gang and you want to be careful who you give traveling information to. TV makes it sound worse than it is though. It sounds like he will be too busy with legal problems to be messing with you. If he has a parole officer, that person will help you get away, or know someone who can.

Answer 5

The Crypts are a bad gang, nortorious for trouble, drugs, and more. The gang can influence and take over the will of the member. The member can not live without the gang, it is dependency.
Gangs instill hate in its members and obviously this has rubbed off on his treating of you. And later it will be toward the child. It will only get worse unless he gets help and gangs forbid that otherwise they lose their membership.

Your baby is too precious for this kind of environment. Do you want to raise her in a bad relationship and gang mentality? If not just get out. This man will ruin you, and your self-esteem, he will make you feel WORTHLESS. Hateful men can do this easily. If happens before you even know it.

If you do not have family to help you please call a Womens Shelter, Family Resource Center, or Social Worker right away. They can help you get on your feet. You need to run from this man just make sure you are SAFE. Gang members rule by hate and power and he is using this over you.
You can even go to a church, many will refer you to help (Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Church of Chirst). There are services out there for women being abused and woman with a children. Dont stay with this man out of fear that is what he hopes you will do. You need to divorce him later after you are gone.

Believe me when I say your child will suffer if you stay in a relationship with this man. He can take you and your baby both down (homeless, jail, or lose your kid). Even if you love him get out it will not work if crime is his agenda.

And if you have to leave the state to get away from him, do it. Find a family member or friend willing to help you short term so you can get your life back. Good Luck and remember dont take abuse from anyone, ever.

Answer 6

I personally would take the baby and get out NOW. That is NO environment for you baby girl to be raised in. If you do come from a "financially well off family" then I would talk to my own Family and see if I could move in with them to get back on my feet. For NO reasonings would I stay in that marriage. Get out while you can,hopefully when he is gone,pack what you can and get out,also you can have the police"keep the peace" while you get your things and the baby's out of the home,that way you would be safely removing things and he could not interfere with you getting out nor with you either. Good luck will be praying for you and the baby ^j^

Answer 7

You need to get an idea of how to get a job. Start with a temp agency. They will train you in office skill and in the meantime you'll work stuffing envelopes and answering phones...don't let that discourage you because it can pay $10 an hour which is more than fast food jobs.

Do this while still married. You will have to remain with him for a while while you hone job skills and save money -UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE ARE YOU TO LET HIM IN ON YOUR PLAN!!!! He can find out after you've gone.

If you put forth effort will your family be willing to help you??????? If so, suck up your pride HONEY and go home and work you BUTT off until you can move out and be an independant ADULT!

Answer 8

u will need to get help and start working with kids that been in gangs. so , u can know what u should and should not be around with. And u should get out more to just learn what is what. just becuase some ppl might seem as something, they may not be what u think. u got alot to learn what is real life. first thing is needed here , is for u get leave him at once. your baby can be hurt by him or yourself get hurt too , by him !!!

Answer 9

I have a hard time believing your education history as you wrote it. I don't know your background, but whatever it is, you can get a job. You can provide for your daughter. It won't be easy, but it is do-able.
You can't rely upon him. Let him have a relationship with his daughter, but you get up, and take care of your business, and the baby you share. Stop making excuses, and just make it happen.

Answer 10

first of all go home to your parents tell them and see if they will help,i am sure they will do what they can.
2 try and see a marriagecounseler they will direct u to local help and u will be surprised at what is out there for u,u also have a college ed you are way ahead of the game.you will make out better then most women in your situation.